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Clips from What We Do in the Shadows (2019) - City Council (S01E01)

"-Hello. -(others groaning)"
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"Secret meeting, huh?"
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"What were you guys talking about? Can I join?"
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"NADJA: No. So sorry."
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"We're planning your, um..."
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"-surprise party. -NANDOR: Yeah."
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"COLIN: Oh. A surprise party, huh?"
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"Well, it's not much of a surprise now, is it?"
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"You know, if-if the fun part of the party"
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"is that it's a surprise,"
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"and you eliminate..."
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"all element of surprise,"
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"then it just becomes a party, right?"
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"let's be honest-- you've never even thought"
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"of throwing a party for me,"
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"to take over the land,"
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"-at least Staten Island. -Well, it sounds like you want"
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"to talk to the local leaders."
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"-Yeah. -Yes."
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"Okay, well, I-I can help with that."
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"-NANDOR: You can? -I know exactly who you need"
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"-to talk to and where to go. -NANDOR: Show us the way,"
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"Let our journey to total domination"
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"begin this very evening!"
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"Perhaps you could just give us the destination,"
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"and we could fly ahead and meet you there, Colin Robinson."
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"It's kind of hard to find."
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"taking the bus."
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"Everyone kind of focuses on"
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"the "day" part of "daywalker,""
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"You know, there's a lot of walking..."
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"They're never gonna be able to find the place."
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"COLIN: Of course, you can always have buses"
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"that are one-tier, two-tier,"
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"They would be hit when they go under bridges."
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"I appreciate, uh, your perspective, Mr. Chapman,"
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"but the zoning ordinance..."
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"These are the ones who rule over the local peasants?"
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"-Yes. Isn't this wonderful? -No."
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"Is it a wrestling pit?"
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"No. No. Just-just watch."
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"-But when does the wrestling start? -Never."
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"You're recognized, Mr. Peterson."
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"was originally zoned"
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"I come here every week."
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"BARBARA: Mr. Robinson? You're next up."
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"-Is Mr. Robinson here? -I'm just gonna do a quick mega-feed,"
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"and then I'll be right back."
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"BARBARA: Mr. Robinson, are you here?"
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"Uh, I'll be right back."
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"Yeah, yeah, yeah."
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"(microphone feedback)"
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"When it comes to zoning ordinances,"
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""Ordinance." What does it mean?"
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"Webster's Unabridged Dictionary"
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"We will here demand our power."
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"We have come up with a list of all the things"
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"we would like to change once the vampires are in charge."
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"I'd like to see the construction of a huge opaque dome"
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"the size of the city,"
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"covering the city, and blocking out all sunlight."
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"No noise during daylight hours."
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"All local churches to destroy their crucifixes."
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"A total ban on turtlenecks."
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"my favorite comedy, Priests Falling Over."
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"Free but compulsory harpsichord concerts"
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"every day of the week."
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"We would have nun-free zones with a sign that says:"
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""No Nuns. No Nuns. None.""
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"COLIN: So, in closing, hopefully next week,"
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"I can, uh, provide a little bit more clarity,"
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"uh, as to the direction"
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"I feel like, uh, our zoning laws should go."
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"Thank you so much."
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"BARBARA: Thank you, Mr. Robinson."
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"Mr. Nandor?"
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"(quietly): I got this."
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"-Greetings, mortals. -(microphone feedback)"
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"I will make this quick."
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"I, Nandor the Relentless,"
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"immortal warrior"
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"of this governing body to my command!"
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"Submit and receive mercy."
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"Resist..."
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"and only death awaits."
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"(man coughs)"
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"Thank you for your input, uh, Mr. Nandor..."
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"Hasn't even mentioned the turtlenecks."
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"but if you would like to return..."
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"-Yes. -when we have a..."
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"In about two months."
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"But if you access our website--"
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"That will be the perfect time"
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"-for you to speak. -Great. Fantastic."
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"I live on Tanglewood,"
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"and the bar on the ground floor below my apartment..."
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"he's blessedly unburdened with the complications"
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"But give him an ax, and he's second to none."
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"Though you wouldn't want him as your barrister."
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"Don't let him fucking see this."
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"COLIN: Correct."
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"Where lies Barbara Lazarro's weakest point?"
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"So it's her foot? Well, that's simple."
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"is the most powerful member of that group?"
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"Well, Ms. Lazarro. But Doug Peterson"
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"is looking to unseat her in the upcoming election."
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"Some people think he has a chance."
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"-The streak of piss with a case? -COLIN: Yeah."
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"Shall we kill him as a warning?"
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"but then I will visit Barbara Lazarro"
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"-under cover of night. -Yeah!"
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"(chuckling)"
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"Where's Nadja?"
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"Hello, cheeky little one."
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"-Uh, not really. -Oh, no."
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"to be powerless and disrespected."
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"Back home in my village, I had many strikes against me."
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"that we used to use donkey dung for fuel,"
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"and when the donkey dung ran out,"
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"to be mocked and teased"
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
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