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Clips from The Brady Bunch - Sorry, Right Number (S01E01)

"It's that second phone."
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"The toll calls alone..."
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"There are five times as many units as we're allowed."
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"Those kids use that phone constantly"
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"and we have got to do something drastic."
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"Like what?"
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"Get them to start writing letters?"
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"Alice."
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"Sorry."
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"Excuse me while I show this bill"
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"to a certain group of children."
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"It's amazing how such a simple thing like a phone"
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"can become such a big problem."
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"So many other things have come up with the kids"
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"we've managed to solve them."
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"Here we are hung up on the phone."
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"Hung up?"
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"Mike..."
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"I'm wasn't trying to be funny. I'm serious."
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"We got a wonderful bunch of kids."
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"I mean, really marvelous."
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"They don't play hooky"
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"they don't lie, they're not fresh"
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"but, boy, they just won't stay off of that phone."
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"Well, all our friends with kids"
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"have big phone bills, too."
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"Oh, honey, not as big as ours."
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"Have you seen those toll charges?"
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"I think our kids are talking to the astronauts on the Moon."
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"Honey... where are you?"
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"There's got to be a solution to this."
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"There must be some way to keep those kids"
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"from using that phone 24 hours a day"
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"Well, if you think the phone's expensive"
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"What new carpeting?"
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"The one you're wearing out pacing back and forth."
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"There you are, Mrs. Pfeiffer."
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"That chicken is guaranteed to melt in your mouth."
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"And how is my favorite little filet today, huh?"
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"I see you raised your tongue again."
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"You ought to be arrested for charging those prices"
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"for something that can't even talk."
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"You got a lot of nerve, looking down your nose at my tongue."
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"That's a good one, huh, Alice?"
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"Is that supposed to be a New York cut?"
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"What race did it run in?"
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"Hey, hey, something's wrong."
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"something is definitely wrong."
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"Now, suppose you tells old Sam all about it."
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"Something's wrong, all right."
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"Then we can talk."
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"Now, why don't you let old Sam"
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"put a smile back on your face, huh?"
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"Oh, stop it."
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"You bet your sweet pig's knuckles I am."
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"Come on, we'll sit back here and relax."
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"On a crate?"
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"This is a butcher shop, not a furniture store."
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"I'm sorry."
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"Hey, put it right there... no splinters."
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"Thanks."
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"Now, why don't you just spill it all out?"
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"Big Sam is listening."
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"Well, I get upset when there's a problem"
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"at the Brady house, and right now we've got a beaut."
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"Well, now maybe it isn't all that bad."
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"Maybe you're just making a meat loaf out of a hamburger."
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"It's pretty bad, all right."
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"Mr. Brady's been getting phone bills"
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"that are driving him right up the wall."
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"He's upset with the kids"
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"and that's making Mrs. Brady upset."
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"And with Mrs. Brady upset and Mr. Brady upset"
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"and the kids upset, I get upset."
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"I'll tell you, Sam,"
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"we got more upset than you got meat."
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"You know something, Alice?"
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"You got a bigger heart than a cow."
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"Sam, you sure know how to make a girl feel good."
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"When did you get that?"
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"What? You see something you like?"
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"This thing."
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"Sometime last week... I had to."
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"My customers kept using my phone all the time."
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""Do you mind if I make a call?""
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""Do you mind if I make a call?""
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"The profits were all going"
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"right down the drain..."
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"A dime here."
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"What?"
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"A dime... lend me a dime."
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"You just gave me a great idea."
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"There go the profits again."
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"Hi, Mrs. Brady, kids."
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"Alice, what's this big thing on the wall?"
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"This big thing over here."
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"Oh, oh, that thing."
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"Yes, that thing."
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"What is it?"
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"Uh... wait a minute, I remember now."
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"Mr. Brady called awhile ago"
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"and he said something about a big surprise,"
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"but he wants everybody to wait till he gets home to unwrap it."
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"Unwrap what?"
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"Now, come on, Alice, what is it?"
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"I better go take a look at my liver."
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"Well, I guess"
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"we'll just have to wait to find out."
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"All right, everybody ready?"
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"Why don't you let the little kids up front"
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"where they can see?"
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"Come on, sweetheart."
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"There."
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"There."
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"That's better."
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"We all know in the past"
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"that the telephone problem has been"
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"absolutely impossible."
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"It hasn't bothered me."
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"Me neither."
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