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Clips from Veep - Thanksgiving (S05E05)

"Congratulations, sir. May I be the first to join your campaign?"
Veep
"- Absolutely, chief of staff. - Please let me earn it."
Veep
"There will be a vetting process."
Veep
"Okay, I'll just take a few questions first, then I'll bring you up again, okay?"
Veep
"- All right. - Okay."
Veep
"Oh, hey, is it possible to get salmonella"
Veep
"if you were to make love in a turkey's bed?"
Veep
"I'm sorry?"
Veep
"I should add the turkeys were no longer there."
Veep
"Never mind. I'll be back."
Veep
"- Mike! Mike! Mike! - You wanted to see me, ma'am?"
Veep
"How'd it go with the New Hampshire Napoleon?"
Veep
"- He's got a lot of ideas. - Yeah? Good."
Veep
"Oh, my God. Would you look at this?"
Veep
"Reporter: Mike, why won't she give a statement?"
Veep
"Somewhere in the world there's a woman exactly my age"
Veep
"getting her pussy eaten and I'm stuck here watching this."
Veep
"God, I've got to get out there."
Veep
"When Admiral Burger first suggested this trip,"
Veep
"it seemed like a very small sacrifice"
Veep
"to forgo a traditional Thanksgiving"
Veep
"with my beloved daughter Catherine"
Veep
"and travel here to be with"
Veep
"our brave sailors and Marines."
Veep
"Ooh-rah!"
Veep
"And, ladies and gentlemen of the press,"
Veep
"I want to thank you for your understanding"
Veep
"as to the secrecy of this trip"
Veep
"and why I've had to be incommunicado for the last few days."
Veep
"I also want to take this opportunity to introduce Congressman Bill Jaeger"
Veep
"from the first district in the great state of Wisconsin."
Veep
"- They're ready for you, ma'am. - How was your Thanksgiving, Marjorie?"
Veep
"- It was nice, ma'am. - Where were you?"
Veep
"- Maryland, ma'am. - Oh, that's where I'm from."
Veep
"I know, ma'am."
Veep
"Okay."
Veep
"- What? - What just happened?"
Veep
"- I can't even look at her. - Yeah."
Veep
"All right, who's ready for some piping hot tofurkey?"
Veep
"Where are the tongs?"
Veep
"Ma'am, I'll be happy to hold your sunglasses for you."
Veep
"Oh, no, no, I'm good."
Veep
"That's tofurkey. It's made from..."
Veep
"- Wheat, protein, organic tofu. - ...wheat, protein, and organic tofu."
Veep
"- There you go. - We're gonna have a mutiny."
Veep
"We're gonna have a mut... let's get some meat on your bones."
Veep
"Or we'll put this on your bones."
Veep
"- We just got a text from Ben. - Okay."
Veep
"He said your trip is playing really well."
Veep
"- Keep waving the flag. - Great."
Veep
"And Jonah's running for Congress in New Hampshire."
Veep
"What?"
Veep
"What?"
Veep
"What is that?"
Veep
"- Oh, my God. Ah! - Oh."
Veep
"- Here. - Thank you."
Veep
"Just... shit."
Veep
"I bet you there's about 20 pieces of corn in here."
Veep
"Could be more. Probably fit a lot of corn in there."
Veep
"Oh, my God."
Veep