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Clips from The Ref

Short Films 1994 10 min 1,520 clips
Short Drama

Credits

♪ When they are both full grown ♪
"♪ When they are both full grown ♪"
The Ref
♪ The holly bears the crown ♪
"♪ The holly bears the crown ♪"
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♪ The playing of the merry organ ♪
"♪ The playing of the merry organ ♪"
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♪ Sweet singing in the choir ♪
"♪ Sweet singing in the choir ♪"
The Ref
- Really? - Lieutenant, where is that babyJesus?
"- Really? - Lieutenant, where is that babyJesus?"
The Ref
Thanks, Chief. Merry Christmas.
"Thanks, Chief. Merry Christmas."
The Ref
Oh, wow! That's so cool.
"Oh, wow! That's so cool."
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[Train Whistle Blowing]
"[Train Whistle Blowing]"
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Merry Christmas.
"Merry Christmas."
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Merry Christmas.
"Merry Christmas."
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It was Lloyd's head on a plate of spinach...
"It was Lloyd's head on a plate of spinach..."
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I think she should stop telling it at dinner parties to all our friends.
"I think she should stop telling it at dinner parties to all our friends."
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I mean, dreams should be private, don't you think?
"I mean, dreams should be private, don't you think?"
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Telling people she dreams of me being castrated Florentined is healthy?
"Telling people she dreams of me being castrated Florentined is healthy?"
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It would be over in the time it takes to make cappuccino.
"It would be over in the time it takes to make cappuccino."
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[Sighs]
"[Sighs]"
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[Beep]
"[Beep]"
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Cat piss. [Sniffs]
"Cat piss. [Sniffs]"
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Ugh. [Spits]
"Ugh. [Spits]"
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- I just don't want to talk about it. - Then let me ask you something.
"- I just don't want to talk about it. - Then let me ask you something."
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- And I'm miserable and you're content? - Luck?
"- And I'm miserable and you're content? - Luck?"
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She's impossible to satisfy. She lives in her fantasies.
"She's impossible to satisfy. She lives in her fantasies."
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We're in servitude to his mother for a loan she's charging us 18% interest on.
"We're in servitude to his mother for a loan she's charging us 18% interest on."
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- We personally own nothing. - We took out a loan.
"- We personally own nothing. - We took out a loan."
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- You took out a loan from Satan Mom. - She blames my mother...
"- You took out a loan from Satan Mom. - She blames my mother..."
The Ref
And I still say gettin' laid by an 18-year-old linebacker is just what she needs!
"And I still say gettin' laid by an 18-year-old linebacker is just what she needs!"
The Ref
- Please! Let's lower our voices! - [Both] Fuck you!
"- Please! Let's lower our voices! - [Both] Fuck you!"
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[Ticking]
"[Ticking]"
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[Gasping]
"[Gasping]"
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[Growling Continues]
"[Growling Continues]"
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Wanna play ball?
"Wanna play ball?"
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Good doggy. Good thickheaded doggy.
"Good doggy. Good thickheaded doggy."
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- [Snarling] - [Screams]
"- [Snarling] - [Screams]"
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You can divorce me, you know. I mean, I don't care about alimony.
"You can divorce me, you know. I mean, I don't care about alimony."
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that I was unfaithful.
"that I was unfaithful."
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You were.
"You were."
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That's why I said you can say it.
"That's why I said you can say it."
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but that I could say it just to get the divorce.
"but that I could say it just to get the divorce."
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Except that it is true, and we're not getting a divorce.
"Except that it is true, and we're not getting a divorce."
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There is a world going on beyond our problems, Caroline.
"There is a world going on beyond our problems, Caroline."
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the day you see anything through to the end, I'll stick my own dick in my ear.
"the day you see anything through to the end, I'll stick my own dick in my ear."
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[Sirens Wailing In Distance]
"[Sirens Wailing In Distance]"
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[Clerk] I'm sorry. I can't help you.
"[Clerk] I'm sorry. I can't help you."
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and you have one bottle of eggnog.
"and you have one bottle of eggnog."
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I'd love to be able to help you. I don't know what to tell you.
"I'd love to be able to help you. I don't know what to tell you."
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[Woman] Are you crazy?
"[Woman] Are you crazy?"
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- I have got 25 relatives coming. - It only takes cream, nutmeg...
"- I have got 25 relatives coming. - It only takes cream, nutmeg..."
The Ref
You don't understand. What am I gonna do without it?
"You don't understand. What am I gonna do without it?"
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- [Gun Cocks] - Okay.
"- [Gun Cocks] - Okay."
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- Don't move. Don't talk. This is a gun in your back. - [Gasps, Drops Groceries]
"- Don't move. Don't talk. This is a gun in your back. - [Gasps, Drops Groceries]"
The Ref
[Man #1] Lieutenant Huff, how could this have happened in Old Baybrook?
"[Man #1] Lieutenant Huff, how could this have happened in Old Baybrook?"
The Ref
is when some kid is playing a practical joke...
"is when some kid is playing a practical joke..."
The Ref
Anytime there's any real problem, you people call yourjudge friends...
"Anytime there's any real problem, you people call yourjudge friends..."
The Ref
Why don't you call them now and get the hell out of my office?
"Why don't you call them now and get the hell out of my office?"
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and you're way in over your head.
"and you're way in over your head."
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- I mean, it's not like you killed anyone. - Kinda silly, ain't it?
"- I mean, it's not like you killed anyone. - Kinda silly, ain't it?"
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- What's that smell? - Shut up!
"- What's that smell? - Shut up!"
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- Jesus fuckin' Christ! - Okay, okay.
"- Jesus fuckin' Christ! - Okay, okay."
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- Christ. - See?
"- Christ. - See?"
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Hey, morons!
"Hey, morons!"
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Oh, thank God. Phil thought it might be semen.
"Oh, thank God. Phil thought it might be semen."
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- [Phil] We found it. Why'd you say that? - [Steve] I found it.
"- [Phil] We found it. Why'd you say that? - [Steve] I found it."
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Lt. Huff here.
"Lt. Huff here."
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Excuse me, but this is my jurisdiction, and we are perfectly capable...
"Excuse me, but this is my jurisdiction, and we are perfectly capable..."
The Ref
Yeah, yeah. I heard you!
"Yeah, yeah. I heard you!"
The Ref
So... can we go home now?
"So... can we go home now?"
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- ♪ Lf that's love ♪ - [Knocking]
"- ♪ Lf that's love ♪ - [Knocking]"
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- Chasser. - That's Chasseur. It's 18th-century French Huguenot.
"- Chasser. - That's Chasseur. It's 18th-century French Huguenot."
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- May I come in? - No.
"- May I come in? - No."
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- I can't give it to you out in the hall. - Listen, Siskel...
"- I can't give it to you out in the hall. - Listen, Siskel..."
The Ref
Nice. You rich?
"Nice. You rich?"
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Antiques like this ain't cheap.
"Antiques like this ain't cheap."
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I said I run it. I didn't say I own it. I am the manager.
"I said I run it. I didn't say I own it. I am the manager."
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- Do you think he cares if you work for your mother? - Hey! Hey! Hey!
"- Do you think he cares if you work for your mother? - Hey! Hey! Hey!"
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Why? No guns!
"Why? No guns!"
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Jesus Christ, who are you fuckin'people?
"Jesus Christ, who are you fuckin'people?"
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Fuck you, that's my name.
"Fuck you, that's my name."
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Got any rope... Lloyd?
"Got any rope... Lloyd?"
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They should be here by 9:00.
"They should be here by 9:00."
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She does it to irritate me. I'm the one that she's after.
"She does it to irritate me. I'm the one that she's after."
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That is not appropriate dinner conversation. Eat!
"That is not appropriate dinner conversation. Eat!"
The Ref
I hope they get into a fight like always. Their fights are bitchin'.
"I hope they get into a fight like always. Their fights are bitchin'."
The Ref
Merry Christmas.
"Merry Christmas."
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Did you ever pass by the Seventeenth Hole? It's like a urinal with windows.
"Did you ever pass by the Seventeenth Hole? It's like a urinal with windows."
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Mackerel Lounge. Herbie speaking.
"Mackerel Lounge. Herbie speaking."
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- I'm looking for a friend. - [Lloyd] The Mackerel Lounge couldn't be the worst dive bar.
"- I'm looking for a friend. - [Lloyd] The Mackerel Lounge couldn't be the worst dive bar."
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You just described everybody in the place.
"You just described everybody in the place."
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♪ There'll be some whiskey and a six-pack ♪
"♪ There'll be some whiskey and a six-pack ♪"
The Ref
See if there's a waste of fucking life named Murray. Try that one, okay?
"See if there's a waste of fucking life named Murray. Try that one, okay?"
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Murray. How are ya, pal?
"Murray. How are ya, pal?"
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- Is that too much of a fuckin' stretch? - I got nervous.
"- Is that too much of a fuckin' stretch? - I got nervous."
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The cops were all over the place.
"The cops were all over the place."
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Don't talk to me. Shut up.
"Don't talk to me. Shut up."
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You gotta help me.
"You gotta help me."
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- And steal us a boat. - Boat? Wha...
"- And steal us a boat. - Boat? Wha..."
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Listen, kid. Maybe you better tell me where the swag is, in case I have to bribe somebody.
"Listen, kid. Maybe you better tell me where the swag is, in case I have to bribe somebody."
The Ref
Ah. Everything's gonna be fine.
"Ah. Everything's gonna be fine."
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We're gonna be in a boat in a couple of hours. We'll be out of here.
"We're gonna be in a boat in a couple of hours. We'll be out of here."
The Ref
Ah! Ahh!
"Ah! Ahh!"
The Ref
Now... got any cigarettes?
"Now... got any cigarettes?"
The Ref
Just quit, huh?
"Just quit, huh?"
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Where... are they... Caroline?
"Where... are they... Caroline?"
The Ref
Behind the chessboard.
"Behind the chessboard."
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- I never said I quit. - You said you quit. You hadn't had a cigarette in three months.
"- I never said I quit. - You said you quit. You hadn't had a cigarette in three months."
The Ref
- I am not a liar! - You sat right in the dining room and lied to me!
"- I am not a liar! - You sat right in the dining room and lied to me!"
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- It was in the bathroom. - I wonder how many other things you've been lying about.
"- It was in the bathroom. - I wonder how many other things you've been lying about."
The Ref
[Chuckling]
"[Chuckling]"
The Ref
You saw the stop sign, didn't you, Lloyd? Huh?
"You saw the stop sign, didn't you, Lloyd? Huh?"
The Ref
Capital L, small l, small A, small R, period.
"Capital L, small l, small A, small R, period."
The Ref
- [Sniffs] Did you have an accident? - [Sniffing]
"- [Sniffs] Did you have an accident? - [Sniffing]"
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Ooh! Did you know you're bleeding?
"Ooh! Did you know you're bleeding?"
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- A goddamn dog bit me. - What dog?
"- A goddamn dog bit me. - What dog?"
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What's through here?
"What's through here?"
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That's the mudroom.
"That's the mudroom."
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- What? - Use the ouchless. We have bungee cords.
"- What? - Use the ouchless. We have bungee cords."
The Ref
I suppose you'll use this drama as a reason to have another affair.
"I suppose you'll use this drama as a reason to have another affair."
The Ref
Shh.
"Shh."
The Ref
Okay, our car's in the driveway.
"Okay, our car's in the driveway."
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The lights are on. They know we're in here.
"The lights are on. They know we're in here."
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I bet you thought Margaret forgot you on her fruitcake list.
"I bet you thought Margaret forgot you on her fruitcake list."
The Ref