Loading...

You're not connected to the Internet. Please check your connection.

Clips from Community (2009) - Advanced Gay (S03E03)

about what's going on, but I can talk to myself.

"about what's going on, but I can talk to myself."

Community (2009)

Can you pretend to be me?

"Can you pretend to be me?"

Community (2009)

I like football, but also I don't--

"I like football, but also I don't--"

Community (2009)

Perfect. Okay, I can't choose between

"Perfect. Okay, I can't choose between"

Community (2009)

air conditioning and plumbing.

"air conditioning and plumbing."

Community (2009)

I know, it's so hard, right?

"I know, it's so hard, right?"

Community (2009)

- Let's ask Abed. - Now you be me.

"- Let's ask Abed. - Now you be me."

Community (2009)

- What should I do, Abed? - I don't know

"- What should I do, Abed? - I don't know"

Community (2009)

but Harrison Ford might know.

"but Harrison Ford might know."

Community (2009)

Don't get cocky kid--

"Don't get cocky kid--"

Community (2009)

Okay, this isn't working, okay? Abed tell me what to do.

"Okay, this isn't working, okay? Abed tell me what to do."

Community (2009)

I don't really see the dilemma.

"I don't really see the dilemma."

Community (2009)

Plumbing and air conditioning seem more or less identical.

"Plumbing and air conditioning seem more or less identical."

Community (2009)

They're not--they couldn't be more or less identical.

"They're not--they couldn't be more or less identical."

Community (2009)

Well, what do you feel like doing?

"Well, what do you feel like doing?"

Community (2009)

it could screw up my whole life.

"it could screw up my whole life."

Community (2009)

If you really have to make a decision,

"If you really have to make a decision,"

Community (2009)

I say go with whatever makes you the happiest.

"I say go with whatever makes you the happiest."

Community (2009)

Because, again, they're virtually the same thing.

"Because, again, they're virtually the same thing."

Community (2009)

I think I know what I need to do.

"I think I know what I need to do."

Community (2009)

Don't get cocky, kid.

"Don't get cocky, kid."

Community (2009)

All right, bitches!

"All right, bitches!"

Community (2009)

I just want to say this whole thing...

"I just want to say this whole thing..."

Community (2009)

was a huge mistake.

"was a huge mistake."

Community (2009)

Uh, Hawthorne Wipes is officially

"Uh, Hawthorne Wipes is officially"

Community (2009)

severing its ties to the gay community.

"severing its ties to the gay community."

Community (2009)

- Aw! - What?

"- Aw! - What?"

Community (2009)

Effective immediately, it will return

"Effective immediately, it will return"

Community (2009)

to being a straights-only product.

"to being a straights-only product."

Community (2009)

Boo!

"Boo!"

Community (2009)

Ahhhhhh...

"Ahhhhhh..."

Community (2009)

Fake heart attack.

"Fake heart attack."

Community (2009)

I taught him everything he knows.

"I taught him everything he knows."

Community (2009)

So, how long you guys been on the force?

"So, how long you guys been on the force?"

Community (2009)

Pierce!

"Pierce!"

Community (2009)

What the hell was that?

"What the hell was that?"

Community (2009)

Standing up for good old Hawthorne values.

"Standing up for good old Hawthorne values."

Community (2009)

All due respect, sir, I have zero respect for you.

"All due respect, sir, I have zero respect for you."

Community (2009)

- Typical Welsh nonsense. - But father, I--

"- Typical Welsh nonsense. - But father, I--"

Community (2009)

Pierce, you really wanna be like this guy?

"Pierce, you really wanna be like this guy?"

Community (2009)

He's wearing elephant bones on his head.

"He's wearing elephant bones on his head."

Community (2009)

He will be what I tell him to be because I am his father!

"He will be what I tell him to be because I am his father!"

Community (2009)

Listen up, colonel crypt-keeper.

"Listen up, colonel crypt-keeper."

Community (2009)

doing important things.

"doing important things."

Community (2009)

But at the end of it all,

"But at the end of it all,"

Community (2009)

I would have only lived half a life

"I would have only lived half a life"

Community (2009)

if I had not raised a son.

"if I had not raised a son."

Community (2009)

This was a gift that was handed to you.

"This was a gift that was handed to you."

Community (2009)

You squandered it.

"You squandered it."

Community (2009)

And the reason you have so much hatred in your heart

"And the reason you have so much hatred in your heart"

Community (2009)

is because you're trying to fill a hole

"is because you're trying to fill a hole"

Community (2009)

where your kid was supposed to go.

"where your kid was supposed to go."

Community (2009)

And now it's too late.

"And now it's too late."

Community (2009)

Now you're just stomping around trying to prove you exist.

"Now you're just stomping around trying to prove you exist."

Community (2009)

Well, mission accomplished.

"Well, mission accomplished."

Community (2009)

But here's a question I'd like to pass on to you

"But here's a question I'd like to pass on to you"

Community (2009)

from every son of every crap dad that ever lived.

"from every son of every crap dad that ever lived."

Community (2009)

So what?

"So what?"

Community (2009)

I'm done with you.

"I'm done with you."

Community (2009)

He's done with you.

"He's done with you."

Community (2009)

The world is done with you.

"The world is done with you."

Community (2009)

Come on in. He's a Hawthorne.

"Come on in. He's a Hawthorne."

Community (2009)

This is what they do.

"This is what they do."

Community (2009)

He's faking.

"He's faking."

Community (2009)

Pierce, listen, I just want to say--

"Pierce, listen, I just want to say--"

Community (2009)

Did you know that the Canadian Mallard is the only water fowl

"Did you know that the Canadian Mallard is the only water fowl"

Community (2009)

that bites his father's head off on the way out of the womb?

"that bites his father's head off on the way out of the womb?"

Community (2009)

- That is definitely not true. - I don't know.

"- That is definitely not true. - I don't know."

Community (2009)

I looked it up on the "wackapeediah"

"I looked it up on the "wackapeediah""

Community (2009)

Pierce, um, I just want to say, you know...

"Pierce, um, I just want to say, you know..."

Community (2009)

Sorry for killing your dad.

"Sorry for killing your dad."

Community (2009)

Don't blame yourself.

"Don't blame yourself."

Community (2009)

He bought a lot of his organs from questionable sources.

"He bought a lot of his organs from questionable sources."

Community (2009)

No Pierce, you should take it.

"No Pierce, you should take it."

Community (2009)

Believe me, I'd love it.

"Believe me, I'd love it."

Community (2009)

But the terms of his will clearly state

"But the terms of his will clearly state"

Community (2009)

that whoever kills him gets to keep it.

"that whoever kills him gets to keep it."

Community (2009)

Huh, I guess I'm up.

"Huh, I guess I'm up."

Community (2009)

"Father, I'll never forget what you said to me

""Father, I'll never forget what you said to me"

Community (2009)

"on my first day of school.

""on my first day of school."

Community (2009)

'Comb your hair, you idiot.

"'Comb your hair, you idiot."

Community (2009)

You look Greek.'

"You look Greek.'"

Community (2009)

"but I do know that I was too scared to stand up for myself.

""but I do know that I was too scared to stand up for myself."

Community (2009)

"Well, I'm not scared of you anymore because you're dead,

""Well, I'm not scared of you anymore because you're dead,"

Community (2009)

"and I'm not.

""and I'm not."

Community (2009)

So, I win."

"So, I win.""

Community (2009)

Dude just told his dead dad to suck it.

"Dude just told his dead dad to suck it."

Community (2009)

You're the worst.

"You're the worst."

Community (2009)

Your 24 hours has expired.

"Your 24 hours has expired."

Community (2009)

I need an answer, Troy.

"I need an answer, Troy."

Community (2009)

Are you ready to join the elite brotherhood

"Are you ready to join the elite brotherhood"

Community (2009)

of guys who fix air conditioners?

"of guys who fix air conditioners?"

Community (2009)

I'm sorry, Vice Dean Laybourne,

"I'm sorry, Vice Dean Laybourne,"

Community (2009)

but, I realize no one's better than anyone else.

"but, I realize no one's better than anyone else."

Community (2009)

I mean, some people are better at sports and...

"I mean, some people are better at sports and..."

Community (2009)

And there are magicians, but...

"And there are magicians, but..."

Community (2009)

I was put on this earth to do something else.

"I was put on this earth to do something else."

Community (2009)

So you're going to be what?

"So you're going to be what?"

Community (2009)

A plumber?

"A plumber?"

Community (2009)

No, I'm not gonna be a plumber either.

"No, I'm not gonna be a plumber either."

Community (2009)

Because they have to deal with poop.

"Because they have to deal with poop."

Community (2009)

My decision for now is to watch TV with my friend.

"My decision for now is to watch TV with my friend."

Community (2009)

You're making a huge mistake, son.

"You're making a huge mistake, son."

Community (2009)

That may be, sir. But at least it's my mistake.

"That may be, sir. But at least it's my mistake."

Community (2009)

Doesn't it?

"Doesn't it?"

Community (2009)

No, it doesn't.

"No, it doesn't."

Community (2009)

Sir, looks like there was a malfunction

"Sir, looks like there was a malfunction"

Community (2009)

$The Amana 5000 had a compound coil fracture.$

"The Amana 5000 had a compound coil fracture."

Community (2009)

But it was fixed.

"But it was fixed."

Community (2009)

Very funny.

"Very funny."

Community (2009)

$Not even I can fix a compound coil fracture overnight.$

"Not even I can fix a compound coil fracture overnight."

Community (2009)

Constable Reggie.

"Constable Reggie."

Community (2009)

This isn't over, Troy Barnes.

"This isn't over, Troy Barnes."

Community (2009)

It's only just begun.

"It's only just begun."

Community (2009)

You know what, I was wrong.

"You know what, I was wrong."

Community (2009)

I think you'll make a very good therapist.

"I think you'll make a very good therapist."

Community (2009)

And why is that?

"And why is that?"

Community (2009)

Well, you really nailed Pierce in that whole oedipal thing.

"Well, you really nailed Pierce in that whole oedipal thing."

Community (2009)

The guy's got some serious father issues.

"The guy's got some serious father issues."

Community (2009)

Don't you think you may have had some oedipal issues as well?

"Don't you think you may have had some oedipal issues as well?"

Community (2009)

Show more clips