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Clips from Goon

Short Films 2011 1,522 clips
Short Horror

Credits

All right, boys, here we go!
"All right, boys, here we go!"
Goon
So, Huntsie, I was wondering,
"So, Huntsie, I was wondering,"
Goon
how long does it take you to get your hair like that?
"how long does it take you to get your hair like that?"
Goon
Smitty thinks you look like Stevie Wonder on steroids...
"Smitty thinks you look like Stevie Wonder on steroids..."
Goon
Ooh! Look at that face pussy that rookie gave you.
"Ooh! Look at that face pussy that rookie gave you."
Goon
Vicious slash to the side of the head...
"Vicious slash to the side of the head..."
Goon
...Ross Rhea!
"...Ross Rhea!"
Goon
It says here that you have brown eyes.
"It says here that you have brown eyes."
Goon
Come on!
"Come on!"
Goon
You actually have blue eyes in real life.
"You actually have blue eyes in real life."
Goon
I'm not paying anything! Fuck!
"I'm not paying anything! Fuck!"
Goon
I'm really sorry, man.
"I'm really sorry, man."
Goon
Fuck...
"Fuck..."
Goon
- What's the problem, Jerry? - I didn't win anything!
"- What's the problem, Jerry? - I didn't win anything!"
Goon
That's because it's a jukebox, Jerry.
"That's because it's a jukebox, Jerry."
Goon
Mr. and Mrs. Goldsmith, you guys look too young.
"Mr. and Mrs. Goldsmith, you guys look too young."
Goon
Barbara, I'd like you to meet Dr. and Mrs. Glatt.
"Barbara, I'd like you to meet Dr. and Mrs. Glatt."
Goon
- Hi. Nice to meet you. - How do you do?
"- Hi. Nice to meet you. - How do you do?"
Goon
And their doctor son, Ira.
"And their doctor son, Ira."
Goon
- Hi. Great to meet you. - Pleasure.
"- Hi. Great to meet you. - Pleasure."
Goon
Oh, Albee, this is my youngest son, Doug.
"Oh, Albee, this is my youngest son, Doug."
Goon
- Hello. Ah! - Oh, sorry.
"- Hello. Ah! - Oh, sorry."
Goon
So, Ira, have you got a main squeeze?
"So, Ira, have you got a main squeeze?"
Goon
My squeeze is late, actually.
"My squeeze is late, actually."
Goon
Your dad thought you were single.
"Your dad thought you were single."
Goon
What do I know?
"What do I know?"
Goon
So, what Ivy League school are you hiding at, Doug?
"So, what Ivy League school are you hiding at, Doug?"
Goon
- He's... - I bounce.
"- He's... - I bounce."
Goon
Like a basketball?
"Like a basketball?"
Goon
Richard!
"Richard!"
Goon
Hi!
"Hi!"
Goon
Very close friends.
"Very close friends."
Goon
That's quite the couple, Glatt.
"That's quite the couple, Glatt."
Goon
Is he Jewish?
"Is he Jewish?"
Goon
For the record, they're both adopted.
"For the record, they're both adopted."
Goon
Yes, there he is! Oh, handsome bastard!
"Yes, there he is! Oh, handsome bastard!"
Goon
It was a pretty brutal chop.
"It was a pretty brutal chop."
Goon
He got suspended for 20 fucking games.
"He got suspended for 20 fucking games."
Goon
That's it. He's fucking done, son!
"That's it. He's fucking done, son!"
Goon
All right, then. Welcome to "Hot Ice."
"All right, then. Welcome to "Hot Ice.""
Goon
Tonight, we have Ross Rhea's apology.
"Tonight, we have Ross Rhea's apology."
Goon
I'm deeply sorry for what happened out there, for what I did.
"I'm deeply sorry for what happened out there, for what I did."
Goon
Jesus, look at him. It's pathetic!
"Jesus, look at him. It's pathetic!"
Goon
- I have no excuse.
"- I have no excuse."
Goon
Jesus Christ. I can't stomach this shit any more.
"Jesus Christ. I can't stomach this shit any more."
Goon
Fucking kills me to see him like this.
"Fucking kills me to see him like this."
Goon
I'll probably feature it on next week's "Hot Ice"
"I'll probably feature it on next week's "Hot Ice""
Goon
unless that motherfucker Sully from Worcester calls in again.
"unless that motherfucker Sully from Worcester calls in again."
Goon
Like, last week, he called in
"Like, last week, he called in"
Goon
pretending that he was from some fucking sweepstakes,
"pretending that he was from some fucking sweepstakes,"
Goon
and he told me that I'd won the grand prize
"and he told me that I'd won the grand prize"
Goon
of 50 cocks in my mouth.
"of 50 cocks in my mouth."
Goon
He goes, I have the option of sucking all 50 at once
"He goes, I have the option of sucking all 50 at once"
Goon
or one a month for 50 fucking months.
"or one a month for 50 fucking months."
Goon
Fuck, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring you down, pal.
"Fuck, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring you down, pal."
Goon
Oh, no, no.
"Oh, no, no."
Goon
I don't have a thing, you know?
"I don't have a thing, you know?"
Goon
Like, you have your show.
"Like, you have your show."
Goon
And my dad and my brother,
"And my dad and my brother,"
Goon
they have their doctor thing.
"they have their doctor thing."
Goon
Would it help that I want you inside me?
"Would it help that I want you inside me?"
Goon
That I want you to make lemonade in my chocolate factory?
"That I want you to make lemonade in my chocolate factory?"
Goon
Eh? Fuck this fucking sad shit!
"Eh? Fuck this fucking sad shit!"
Goon
Let's just go watch the Assassins kick the shit out of Oshawa.
"Let's just go watch the Assassins kick the shit out of Oshawa."
Goon
I am predicting that this fucking game becomes an absolute ass-raping
"I am predicting that this fucking game becomes an absolute ass-raping"
Goon
or, potentially, the cast of "Oz" can comprehend.
"or, potentially, the cast of "Oz" can comprehend."
Goon
This is fun. These are tasty treats.
"This is fun. These are tasty treats."
Goon
- Get in the fucking box! - Fuck you!
"- Get in the fucking box! - Fuck you!"
Goon
Bye-bye, bitch!
"Bye-bye, bitch!"
Goon
- Fuck you! - Psycho!
"- Fuck you! - Psycho!"
Goon
What the fuck?
"What the fuck?"
Goon
You want a fucking piece of me, you little fucking faggot?
"You want a fucking piece of me, you little fucking faggot?"
Goon
Hey, my brother's gay.
"Hey, my brother's gay."
Goon
That's it! Fucking...
"That's it! Fucking..."
Goon
What the fuck is this?
"What the fuck is this?"
Goon
You fucking film me, you little fucking faggot!
"You fucking film me, you little fucking faggot!"
Goon
Motherfucker!
"Motherfucker!"
Goon
Cw!
"Cw!"
Goon
Oh!
"Oh!"
Goon
Look at that face-period!
"Look at that face-period!"
Goon
Oh, my God!
"Oh, my God!"
Goon
...one.
"...one."
Goon
That's my fuckin' boy!
"That's my fuckin' boy!"
Goon
Boner genocide!
"Boner genocide!"
Goon
I am pretty sure my fucking eyeballs just ejaculated.
"I am pretty sure my fucking eyeballs just ejaculated."
Goon
Pat, that's it.
"Pat, that's it."
Goon
Tonight we have a very special fucking guest joining us...
"Tonight we have a very special fucking guest joining us..."
Goon
Speaking of fans, let's go to the phones.
"Speaking of fans, let's go to the phones."
Goon
Caller, you're blowing hot ice.
"Caller, you're blowing hot ice."
Goon
Hi, there. I was wondering if you like hot dogs.
"Hi, there. I was wondering if you like hot dogs."
Goon
- Yes, I like hot dogs. - Great!
"- Yes, I like hot dogs. - Great!"
Goon
But I prefer corndogs because you don't need a bun for it
"But I prefer corndogs because you don't need a bun for it"
Goon
because the bun is all around it, and you can eat it from a stick.
"because the bun is all around it, and you can eat it from a stick."
Goon
You like hot dogs 'cause you like big cocks in your mouth, son!
"You like hot dogs 'cause you like big cocks in your mouth, son!"
Goon
You motherfucker!
"You motherfucker!"
Goon
Fuck you, Gus and Brian, you motherfuckers!
"Fuck you, Gus and Brian, you motherfuckers!"
Goon
Fuck this! I'm done!
"Fuck this! I'm done!"
Goon
and your fucking sweater-vest, police-state censorship, okay?
"and your fucking sweater-vest, police-state censorship, okay?"
Goon
Hi, there! You are the final caller ever on "Hot Ice".
"Hi, there! You are the final caller ever on "Hot Ice"."
Goon
Oh, hi. This is Rollie Hortense.
"Oh, hi. This is Rollie Hortense."
Goon
I'm the head coach of the Orangetown Assassins.
"I'm the head coach of the Orangetown Assassins."
Goon
- Yeah? Go fuck yourself. - Patty, do me a favor.
"- Yeah? Go fuck yourself. - Patty, do me a favor."
Goon
Let me talk to your buddy there, Doug, okay?
"Let me talk to your buddy there, Doug, okay?"
Goon
and a lot of other people, too.
"and a lot of other people, too."
Goon
You impress me a hell of a lot, too.
"You impress me a hell of a lot, too."
Goon
I'll be direct.
"I'll be direct."
Goon
What I want you to do is come down to the rink tomorrow,
"What I want you to do is come down to the rink tomorrow,"
Goon
come out there for a tryout.
"come out there for a tryout."
Goon
Okay. Yeah.
"Okay. Yeah."
Goon
I hope to see you there tomorrow at 2:30.
"I hope to see you there tomorrow at 2:30."
Goon
Oh, you guys really shine in the fucking morning!
"Oh, you guys really shine in the fucking morning!"
Goon
Hey, kid!
"Hey, kid!"
Goon
Dougie!
"Dougie!"
Goon
Come on out here, son.
"Come on out here, son."
Goon
Come on!
"Come on!"
Goon
Who the fuck is this guy?
"Who the fuck is this guy?"
Goon
Jesus Christ!
"Jesus Christ!"
Goon
They're his gay brother's!
"They're his gay brother's!"
Goon
Fuck!
"Fuck!"
Goon
I don't know what you sweethearts are all laughing at.
"I don't know what you sweethearts are all laughing at."
Goon