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Clips from South Park - Are You There God? It's Me, Jesus (S03E03)

"Stanley, honey, what's the matter?"
South Park
"After reviewing the Bible,"
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"For he is Saviour"
South Park
"but I don't think Clyde is very cool."
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"My period is really..."
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"- How's it going? - Bad."
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"because everyone else the same age has gotten their period"
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"Look, Stan, do you really know what a period is?"
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"Watch out for the bedspread, baby. Look out now."
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"everybody has their period at a different time."
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"The folks are sure glad you're playing."
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"It's really given them a lot of faith in me again."
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"- Poop my pants. - You pooped your pants?"
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"It's what links us all together, makes us one!"
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"Who never went through puberty?"
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"It could be just what he needs."
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"We look at the word, and think about what that word means to us."
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"What happened?"
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"where tomorrow night, the New Year's Eve event is going to happen."
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"It looks as though Jesus really has come through!"
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"Stanley?"
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"Please make them like it!"
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"Let's go see what kind of tampons they have here in Las Vegas."
South Park
"and overcoming those problems,"
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"Father, you came!"
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"Yea, 'tis my father, the creator."
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"We can ask him anything we want, like,"
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"I have it! I have the question!"
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"How come I haven't gotten my period yet?"
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"That's only for girls."
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"Did you hear that, everybody?"
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"I have to hang out with the older crowd, because now, I'm mature."
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"the gayest party ever."
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"This is very important for mature people."
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"Ike, I don't know what to do."
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"All the guys are getting their periods."
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"What if tomorrow Stan says he got his and I'm left out?"
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"Women Who Run with the Wolves book"
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"For whatever reason people are starting to follow me again."
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"but this is a matter of life and death."
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"I will answer another on New Year's Eve in the year 4000."
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"on New Year's Eve, then screw him anyways."
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"We can hang out together on New Year's Eve!"
South Park
"Well, guys, I'm afraid I won't be able to hang out with you on New Year's Eve."
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"I feel like I have a real shot at a comeback, God."
South Park
"Please, please give me my period soon."
South Park
"Stan, let me sing you a little song about the menstrual cycle."
South Park
""Never went through puberty"?"
South Park
"Well, Tom, I'm here live in Las Vegas"
South Park
"in what is quickly becoming known as"
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"Father, I need to talk to you."
South Park
"Oh, no."
South Park
"very big is going to happen at the millennium."
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"this person shouldn't be bummed because"
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"- Can you see him? - He's neat, Mommy!"
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"Well, God can't just answer every prayer"
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"before the New Year."
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"Well, it's the millennium."
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"Well, that's good, honey."
South Park
"Oh, you talking about your older sister Shelly?"
South Park
"and all over the world people have started to celebrate."
South Park
"Oh. Let me think about that for a minute."
South Park
"Hold your horses, guys."
South Park
""Maximum stoppage of vaginal chunks.""
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"- You got your what? - My period, you guys."
South Park
"You can come down, say hi to a few people and you can be back by 12:30."
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"I can just say I got my period, 'cause I really will get it someday."
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"We can't spend New Year's Eve with a couple of kids."
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"A tampon? What's a tampon?"
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"I think I'm going to win everybody back"
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"Let's talk about boys first."
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"- No, you didn't. - Yes! I really did!"
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"I got my period and you guys didn't!"
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"Oooh baby, yeah baby, ooh baby"
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"Baby"
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"you're at the bottom again because everyone has"
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"and back to mine eyes, for I am the lamb of God."
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"I'm kind of making a comeback!"
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"Don't you worry about that!"
South Park
"Now, for our first club activity,"
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"but he has taken another step out, Tom."
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"Hey, here comes Stan."
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"Wow, Stan, you've really got some nice titties there."
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"It's 8:00 a.m. And only two more days"
South Park
"to play a comeback concert at the Rio Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas"
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"if you'll pardon the pun. But actually right now"
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"there would be nothing left for us to do ourselves."
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"I guess now we can all celebrate the New Year, huh?"
South Park
"Whoa, man."
South Park
"I'm sure that together we can make this millennium party"
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"God is going to show himself?"
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"That's God?"
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"If God just fixed everything for us,"
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"And now I return to heaven."
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"How'd he know that?"
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"You see, there comes a time in every child's life when they grow up"
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"- Is that good? - I don't know."
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"No there's no blood coming out of my ass."
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"People want to see you."
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"Are you there God? It's me, Jesus."
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"So, this is the first meeting of our club for teens who have gotten their periods."
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"But Craig is definitely cooler than Clyde."
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"Okay."
South Park
"Your father never went through puberty?"
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"- What that means to me is... - Hey, assholes!"
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"Dude, I don't think eight-year-olds are supposed to take hormones."
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"God damn it, Kenny, shut the hell up!"
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"Well, we found a tampon stuck up your child's ass."
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"Jesus Christ, our Lord and Saviour"
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"Jesus, why does God hate me?"
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"Huh? He doesn't hate you. He hates me."
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"Well, not like that!"
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"Well, yeah, but, that?"
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"My child, you are a boy."
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"You will hit puberty when the time is right,"
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"Thus spaketh the Lord."
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"And auld lang syne?"
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"Well, it's the millennium, Jesus."
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"Can I help you with something?"
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