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Clips from South Park - Pip (S04E04)

"self-humiliation, utter submission, trust and belief against yourself"
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"and against the whole world, giving up your whole heart and soul to smitten."
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"From the apprentice of a blacksmith"
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"held by the King of England, Tony Blair."
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"- Pip, my goodness how you've changed. - Yes, I've become a gentleman."
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"- May I? - I suppose."
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"So how is it that you've learnt to dress and dance?"
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"Oh, I see Joe once in a while, but I don't have much in common with him"
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"Naturally."
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"Pip, you must know that I have no heart."
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"I think you do."
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"Oh, I have a heart to be shot or stabbed in, no doubt."
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"I see a little girl who wants to be warm and kind."
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"All right, Steve, just one moment."
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"Who... Who is that?"
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"That is Steve. He is 17 and has a car."
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"- I should. He's my boyfriend. - Boyfriend?"
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"I did everything right. I stopped being a poor commoner."
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"I even blew off my loving Joe."
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"He's 17 and has a car. I'm... I'm very... I'm leaving."
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"Miss Havesham, you have to talk to Estella."
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"- She's going out with... - Well, well, well. If it isn't Mr. Pip."
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"But I don't understand."
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"so that I could be with Estella."
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"Oh, what's the matter? Did she break your heart?"
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"you did a very good job of it, because it certainly does hurt."
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"Yes, tell me about the pain. Tell me about the crushing"
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"- And the prickly things. - It's as if"
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"someone has a hold of my heart and is squeezing it very tightly."
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"Yes, and it is somewhat difficult to breathe."
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"Hey, wait a second. You mean that this whole thing"
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"Because I need the tears of broken-hearted men"
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"I am growing very old. But tonight, I will fuse my soul"
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"into Estella's once and for all. And then I can go on breaking men's"
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"Estella, prepare yourself for the Genesis platform."
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"And as for you, Pip, my robot monkeys should take care of you."
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"- Pip? Pip, old chap? - Joe?"
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"That's right."
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"- You're safe and warm now. - Joe found you lying face down"
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"in the street, Mr. Pip. You were in such a state."
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"Miss Havesham. She has all the men who have had their hearts"
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"broken by Estella trapped in her house."
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"Oh, why would she have wasted all that time"
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"sending me to school and turning me into a gentleman?"
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"Well, about that, Pip. There's another person who wants to see you."
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"He's the one that sent you off to be a gentleman."
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"You weren't a snob and you helped me like you would a rich man."
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"Oh, dear. All this time I thought it was Miss Havesham."
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"and wanted nothing more than to see you hurt,"
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"along with the rest of the male sex."
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"Well, I've certainly learnt a lot."
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"That being a gentleman doesn't mean"
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"learning to dance, or proper table manners. It means being a gentle man."
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"What's that, Pip?"
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"- Yeah! - Yeah!"
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"And now we come to the final act of the Dickens classic tale"
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"in which the stage is set for an epic showdown."
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"Miss Havesham's robot monkeys prove a formidable foe, but Pip is not about"
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"to let Estella's soul be forever consumed by the Genesis device."
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"And now, the thrilling conclusion of Great Expectations."
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"Are you ready, Estella?"
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"- Are you ready to complete the cycle? - Yes, Mother."
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"Your man-hating days are over, Havesham."
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"is only about to begin."
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"- Dear God, Pip. Look. - Estella, help me. I'm your boyfriend."
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"- So am I. - And me."
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"We were all Estella's boyfriends at one time or another. Now we're doomed."
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"Yes, cry away, males. Once your tears have collected"
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"Pip, she's started the device."
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"- To keep those blokes from crying. - Right-o, Pip."
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"It begins."
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"It is what I was raised for."
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"Hello, gentlemen. Whatever you do, please do not cry."
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"Havesham's device fuels itself on your tears, I'm afraid."
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"Our hearts have been broken, our lives ruined, and now we are set to die."
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"- What silly little noses they have. - Panda bears make me sad."
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"Let's not think about panda bears then. Let's think about swimming."
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"I told you, Pip, I have no heart."
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"But you do. And I shall prove it to you once and for all."
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"Look at this adorable little bunny."
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"You see that? A heartless person wouldn't care at all about this bunny."
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"They'd just as soon break its neck."
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"Oh. But look at this bunny. There. You see that?"
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"You have too big a heart to kill two baby bunnies."
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"My father died in a stamp-collecting accident."
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"Who can catch me? Who can catch the ice skating king? That's me."
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"I can't fight them off no more."
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"Nine. Nine baby bunnies."
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"So you do have too big a heart to... Ten baby bunnies."
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"There's too many of them."
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"You're boring us to tears."
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"Pip, it's too late!"
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"Twenty-six baby bunnies."
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"I don't want to. I don't see the point in this."
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"There. You see, you do have a heart."
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"You think so? Let me see it, maybe I can kill it."
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"You want your own life. Come with me now."
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"No!"
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"You did it, Pip!"
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"Well, I guess old Miss Havesham won't be taking any revenge"
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"- On any more blokes, eh? - Yes."
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"Her poor miserable life is finally over."
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"Yes, yes, my small-testicled love."
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"Oh, I'm so glad everything has worked out."
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"Where are all my little bunnies that you borrowed then, Pip?"
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"except for Pocket who died of hepatitis B."
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"So ends Charles Dickens' Great Expectations."
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"We hope you now have a deeper appreciation for Pip"
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"and indeed all masterpieces of literature like this one."
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"from their regular show and instead present the prestigious Dickens tale"
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"Oh, dear, but you're shackled. Here, let me help you."
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"Look, I've made me a metal fire poker."
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"A lot of bloody good a fire poker's gonna do while I'm starving to death."
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"What the hell are we supposed to do with a metal newspaper?"
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""Havesham residence seeks young boy to play with lonely daughter."
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"I've come to answer the want ad, ma'am."
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"Come closer. Look at me."
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"Does it frighten you to look upon a woman"
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"- All right, boy. Let us play. - Righty-o. What are we going to play?"
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"I hate you. You are an oozing, painful haemorrhoid that belches pus."
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