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Clips from ALF - La Cuckaracha (S01E01)

"Or the police..."
ALF
"Or the paramedics;"
ALF
"Somebody. I don't care, you decide."
ALF
"Hello?"
ALF
"Fire department?"
ALF
"Well, i need you to come out here."
ALF
"There's a giant cockroach trying to kill me!"
ALF
"All right. I'm a cat stuck in a tree."
ALF
"Whatever it takes--"
ALF
"[ Bang, bang ]"
ALF
"[ Crash ]"
ALF
"[ Bug sounds ]"
ALF
"Operator, make it the paramedics!"
ALF
"Whoever builds the doors on this planet..."
ALF
"Ought to be horsewhipped!"
ALF
"Occupied!"
ALF
"[ Bug sounds ]"
ALF
"All right, the party's over."
ALF
"I've got a .357..."
ALF
"And i know how to use it."
ALF
"No one's ever told me where these things lead."
ALF
"Nah!"
ALF
"[ Bug sounds ]"
ALF
"Oh, you want to use the bathroom."
ALF
"Is that it?"
ALF
"Hey, hey, i know the feeling."
ALF
"[ Bug sounds ]"
ALF
"Aaahhhh!"
ALF
"You're angry at the world."
ALF
"I understand that."
ALF
"You probably didn't get enough love as a larva."
ALF
"Uh, i've got an idea."
ALF
"We could sit down,"
ALF
"Talk, have a nice cold glass of boric acid."
ALF
"You know, we could deal with it."
ALF
"What do you think about that?"
ALF
"Ever see one of these, huh?"
ALF
"Take that!"
ALF
"I was only kidding; joke, joke."
ALF
"He deals with psychopathic ants and..."
ALF
"Roaches!"
ALF
"Here, take this!"
ALF
"Alf, alf, are you okay?"
ALF
"Oh, hi, willie."
ALF
"Did you get the doughnuts?"
ALF
"Alf, what did you do?"
ALF
"Nothing much."
ALF
"Watched a little tv."
ALF
"Killed a bug."
ALF
"How did you kill it?"
ALF
"Cheap cologne."
ALF
"That's perfume."
ALF
"I bought that for kate..."
ALF
"On her last birthday."
ALF
"You had roach problems then, too?"
ALF
"How did you know to use this?"
ALF
"Well, i analyzed the list of ingredients,"
ALF
"And based on what i know about the..."
ALF
"Physiology of melmacian cockroaches--"
ALF
"Alf--"
ALF
"I lucked out!"
ALF
"I can't believe you took this roach on..."
ALF
"All by yourself."
ALF
"You could have been killed."
ALF
"When it comes to defending my home,"
ALF
"I'm an animal!"
ALF
"That's just the way i'm made."
ALF
"Well, i'm going to, uh,"
ALF
"I'm going to drag this outside..."
ALF
"Before kate gets back."
ALF
"No, don't rough it up!"
ALF
"Once they dry out, they get brittle."
ALF
"What difference does that make?"
ALF
"Are you kidding?"
ALF
"I plan to have that guy stuffed and mounted..."
ALF
"I thought it would look good over the fireplace."
ALF
"We're getting rid of it!"
ALF
"[ Telephone ringing ]"
ALF
"Hello?"
ALF
"I've got some good news about the roach."
ALF
"And some bad news..."
ALF
"About your birthday present."
ALF
"Good night, alf."
ALF
"Brian, how about a bedtime story?"
ALF
"I'm too tired to tell you one tonight."
ALF
"No, i'll tell you one."
ALF
"Oh, okay."
ALF
"What do you want to hear?"
ALF
""Babar, the elephant,""
ALF
""The princess and the pea,""
ALF
"Or,"
ALF
""Brave alf and the giant cockroach"?"
ALF
"I'll go with the princess."
ALF
"Fine, read it yourself."
ALF
"What did you do with the cockroach?"
ALF
"We found a dump that doesn't ask questions."
ALF
"Too bad they don't give a prize for weird garbage."
ALF
"Alf, did you check your spaceship to see..."
ALF
"If there were any more cockroaches?"
ALF
"Consider it roachless."
ALF
"You sprayed everything with perfume..."
ALF
"Just in case?"
ALF
"Well, everything but my gym bag."
ALF
"I don't want to get funny looks if..."
ALF
"I ever go back to my health club."
ALF
"What, what is this plant?"
ALF
"Looks kind of like a venus flytrap."
ALF
"It is."
ALF
"From venus."
ALF
"I want that out of this house."
ALF
"Why?"
ALF
"It's just a plant."
ALF
"It brightens up the room;"
ALF
"It eats insects--"
ALF
"And pencils."
ALF
"I'll get the perfume."
ALF
"I'll take back the boric acid and get some..."
ALF
"Defoliant."
ALF
"You people are getting good at this."
ALF
"No, we're not."
ALF
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