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Clips from The Cleveland Show - A Short Story and a Tall Tale (S02E02)

"Hey, Mom, why's Stanley from The Office yelling at you?"
The Cleveland Show
"Seriously, I do not look like Stanley from The Office."
The Cleveland Show
"You know, Stanley from The Office looks like our fat son."
The Cleveland Show
"I hate this show now."
The Cleveland Show
"How was your little date at Cheese E. Charlie's?"
The Cleveland Show
"You are quite the little gentleman."
The Cleveland Show
"She kept saying all her friends are getting married."
The Cleveland Show
"Something about her eggs drying up..."
The Cleveland Show
""Whatever, I'll marry you tomorrow.""
The Cleveland Show
"What's her ass like?"
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"Ever hear of something called defense?"
The Cleveland Show
"Cleveland Brown, representing the 555, Stoolbend, Virginia, y'all."
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"I'm out."
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"The 555, y'all."
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"I know we won but it's hard to enjoy it after that guy called me Steve Trash."
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"I know because I thought he said my name."
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"But when I waved to him as I do whenever anyone says my name..."
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"...he enunciated it more clearly."
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"And this time I realized, I'd been insulted."
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"You know what? I'm gonna banish that guy to Jerk Island."
The Cleveland Show
"Jerk Island? What's that?"
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"It's just a place in my mind where I send unkind people."
The Cleveland Show
"Don't you understand, LeBron? He insulted my mother."
The Cleveland Show
"Before I was a seven-foot millionaire NBA star..."
The Cleveland Show
"But that didn't matter to Mom. She believed in me."
The Cleveland Show
"Come on now, LeBron."
The Cleveland Show
"We wouldn't be All-Stars if we couldn't access our emotions."
The Cleveland Show
"We're going to Virginia."
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"We're gonna set Cleveland Brown straight."
The Cleveland Show
"Hey, let's hope the ref don't call us for travelling."
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"Oh, my God, Shaq, travelling."
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"Travelling, he says."
The Cleveland Show
"What's up, Rallo, what you doing today?"
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"What's up, Bernard. What's it look like? I'm getting married."
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"Married? Is she black?"
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"- Of course. - All right."
The Cleveland Show
"Well, it's too bad you're busy..."
The Cleveland Show
"...because we just found ourselves a breast augmentation pamphlet."
The Cleveland Show
"Well, why didn't you say so?"
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"Come in, gentlemen."
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"I put a wedding together on a day's notice and this bastard doesn't show?"
The Cleveland Show
"Of course he left."
The Cleveland Show
"Nobody wants to be Mr. Trish Body."
The Cleveland Show
"Don't you say that. You're a solid five."
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"Let's go, fellas."
The Cleveland Show
"- Tony. - Whoa!"
The Cleveland Show
"Damn hawks."
The Cleveland Show
"Cleveland, you have to write Mr. Waterman a thank-you note."
The Cleveland Show
"I want Rallo to suffer, Marty."
The Cleveland Show
"I'm gonna go at Tubbs with all the muscle I can get."
The Cleveland Show
"Sure, I know exactly where that is."
The Cleveland Show
"And remember, driver carries less than $20 in change."
The Cleveland Show
"For the last time, Dirk, Kazaam was not real."
The Cleveland Show
"But it seemed so real."
The Cleveland Show
"- Oh, hey, hey. Oh, hey, get off. - Unh, unh, unh!"
The Cleveland Show
"- Get this guy off me, LeBron, help me. - Here you go, buddy, right there."
The Cleveland Show
"Hey, come on, now, get off me."
The Cleveland Show
"There's a bunch of elves in tuxedos attacking NBA All-Stars on our lawn."
The Cleveland Show
"This is the best day ever."
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"You thought you could leave my gross sister at the altar?"
The Cleveland Show
"Wait, what?"
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"- You're just a kid. - Aren't you?"
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"I can't believe I made this mistake again."
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"No, Rallo. Trish and I are little people."
The Cleveland Show
"Yeah, I'm a little person too."
The Cleveland Show
"Oh, you mean midgets?"
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"We don't like that word."
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"You say midget, at least people know what you're talking about."
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"You know, you got a point."
The Cleveland Show
"Oh, Rallo."
The Cleveland Show
"I tell you something, you dodged a bullet with Trish."
The Cleveland Show
"Ugh. Where's that hawk when you need him?"
The Cleveland Show
"Come on, sis."
The Cleveland Show
"Don't."
The Cleveland Show
"Please don't hurt me."
The Cleveland Show
"I had eaten six pounds of medicinal peanut brittle."
The Cleveland Show
"We don't wanna hurt you."
The Cleveland Show
"Neither the NBA nor its affiliates condones violence..."
The Cleveland Show
"...as a solution to any problem."
The Cleveland Show
"But you did make fun of my mother and I can't let that slide. Where's your mother?"
The Cleveland Show
"- She's right here. - Oh, yeah? Well, your momma's so ugly..."
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"- Kevin. - Mom."
The Cleveland Show
"What are you doing here?"
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"Someone forgot to call his mother when he landed."
The Cleveland Show
"- And someone also forgot his manners. - Unh."
The Cleveland Show
"Apologize to this nice lady."
The Cleveland Show
"- Sorry, Ms. Brown. - Ha-ha-ha."
The Cleveland Show
"Oh, I'm sure my son did something to deserve it."
The Cleveland Show
"Cleveland, is there something you want to say?"
The Cleveland Show
"- No. - Ow, ow, ow!"
The Cleveland Show
"- Friends? - Oh, come here, you."
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"See?"
The Cleveland Show
"- LeBron James does care about Cleveland. - Ha!"
The Cleveland Show
"Rallo's driving?"
The Cleveland Show
"Friday's at 9 on Fox, Fringe."
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"Get in line."
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"Hi, Rallo."
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"You have fun with your girlfriend?"
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"- Yeah, we're getting married. - Don't."
The Cleveland Show
"...plus, she's got big boobs for a 5-year-old, so I said:"
The Cleveland Show
"Ah. Now it seems not worth it."
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"- Step aside, little man. I was here first. - Who you calling little?"
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"Shaq, wish yourself out of there."
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"They always leave."
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"Never."
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"What a great trip."
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"Shaq's in trouble."
The Cleveland Show
"Hey, Dork Nowitzki."
The Cleveland Show
"You're all terrible."
The Cleveland Show
"It's important."
The Cleveland Show
"I just wish I could get through one All-Star Game without crying."
The Cleveland Show
"Ha! You're not gonna believe this."
The Cleveland Show
"Wait, no. Five is too young to die."
The Cleveland Show
"I didn't mean what I said at the game."
The Cleveland Show