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Clips from Friends - The One with Chandler in a Box (S04E04)

"Hey, what time is it? The big game's about to start."
Friends
"Thanks."
Friends
"MONICA: What is wrong with this freezer? Ow! Ow!"
Friends
"- God, what happened? - Oh, my God, ice just got in my eye."
Friends
"People are trying to sleep in here."
Friends
"Monica got ice in her eye and it hurts."
Friends
"- Open it up. Let me see. - Oh, I can't. It really kills."
Friends
"Well, maybe you should put some ice on it."
Friends
"- Ooh, it looks bad. - Maybe we should take you to a doctor."
Friends
"No, my eye doctor is Richard."
Friends
"He's really picky about his patients."
Friends
"Oh, like I remember his office number."
Friends
"Speed dial 7."
Friends
"Hi, yeah, I'm calling on behalf of Monica Geller's eye, and..."
Friends
"Is Richard Burke in today?"
Friends
"He's out of town. Does she wanna see the on-call doctor?"
Friends
"Hey, hey, I thought she told you to follow the recipe exactly."
Friends
"Okay, get out of my kitchen."
Friends
"All right, okay. I think I'm making some progress with Joey."
Friends
"When I went into the apartment, he went to his bedroom..."
Friends
"...but he only slammed the door once."
Friends
"I mean, yeah, he gave me the finger while doing it."
Friends
"All right, I gotta call my mom and ask her a left-handed cooking question."
Friends
"So listen, I picked Monica for Secret Santa..."
Friends
"...but I'm getting her something for Hanukkah."
Friends
"You wanna switch?"
Friends
"Oh, you know what? I was trying to trade for, uh, ahem, well, you."
Friends
"Really? Wow, that's so nice. What are you gonna get me?"
Friends
"I don't know, R.G. I was thinking something girlie for your office."
Friends
"Yeah. Well, maybe Phoebe will switch with me."
Friends
"Then you're gonna get stuck with Rachel, and she exchanges every gift she ever gets."
Friends
"Oh, that's not true. I got her lots of stuff she never took back."
Friends
"Like?"
Friends
"Like that gold necklace I got her last year."
Friends
"When was the last time you saw her wear it?"
Friends
"Well, she wore it all Christmas day and then, uh..."
Friends
"Big dog?"
Friends
"- Hey. - Hey."
Friends
"Sending back this stuff Chandler bought out of guilt."
Friends
"Listen, Joey. I know what he did was wrong."
Friends
"But don't you think you could hear the guy out?"
Friends
"When you and Rachel were together..."
Friends
"...if Chandler had kissed her, would you hear him out?"
Friends
"That's a good point."
Friends
"So how long you gonna punish him?"
Friends
"Five years."
Friends
"You've sentenced him?"
Friends
"Hey, don't do the crime if you can't do the time."
Friends
"I don't know why you're pushing for him so hard."
Friends
"- Who, me? - Yeah."
Friends
"Wow. I'm honored."
Friends
"You know what I'm gonna do as my first act as your best friend?"
Friends
"I'm gonna get you to talk to Chandler."
Friends
"All right."
Friends
"Oh, but if you weren't my best friend..."
Friends
"Ah."
Friends
"I walk in the room, and he won't even talk to me."
Friends
"He just mumbles something in Italian."
Friends
"Hey, Gunther, have you seen Chandler?"
Friends
"I thought you were Chandler."
Friends
"But, um, one of you is over there."
Friends
"Oh."
Friends
"I'll be right with you, okay?"
Friends
"Oh, my God. How cute is the on-call doctor?"
Friends
"Dr. Burke will see you now."
Friends
"Oh, no, no, no, not Dr. Burke. Dr. Burke's out of town."
Friends
"Dr. Richard Burke is out."
Friends
"Dr. Timothy Burke, his son, will see you now."
Friends
"Ready?"
Friends
"- Where you going? - My folks'."
Friends
"Oh. Uh..."
Friends
"When you coming back?"
Friends
"I don't know."
Friends
"I might stay there for a few days while I look for an apartment."
Friends
"Yeah, you know, at first I thought we could talk about this, work it out."
Friends
"But seeing you two together, I don't..."
Friends
"Hey, look, what do you want me to say? Do you want me to say I'll stop seeing her?"
Friends
"But seeing you two together just reminds me of what you did."
Friends
"And I don't wanna live with someone who doesn't know what it is to be a friend."
Friends
"- So I'll see you. - Hey, look, I know what it is to be a friend."
Friends
"- I just... I screwed up. - Yeah, you did."
Friends
"And that's why I'm leaving."
Friends
"Look, if you're not gonna stay for me, then at least stay for them."
Friends
"When that guy was robbing us..."
Friends
"...and I was locked in the entertainment unit for six hours..."
Friends
"...do you know what I was doing?"
Friends
"I was thinking about how I let you down."
Friends
"- Wow. - Yeah."
Friends
"If I'd have known what kind of friend you were gonna be, I wouldn't have worried."
Friends
"- See you around. - All right, wait, come on."
Friends
"If we still had that unit..."
Friends
"...I would get in there for six hours and think about how I let you down."
Friends
"What?"
Friends
"I remember the last time I saw you."
Friends
"It was the morning I left for college."
Friends
"Heh. Just probably waiting for it to open."
Friends
"Gotta tell you, you look great now."
Friends
"- You look great too. - You're an excellent patient."
Friends
"Ahem. So how long have you been working with your dad?"
Friends
"Come on, one of us had to mention him."
Friends
"I moved back here a couple months ago."
Friends
"MONICA: No way."
Friends
"I was gonna have Thanksgiving at my girlfriend's."
Friends
"Oh?"
Friends
"She wasn't ready for a serious commitment."
Friends
"Oh."
Friends
"You're not wearing the patch yet."
Friends
"[IN NORMAL VOICE] I know."
Friends
"- Why is it sick? - Because it's Richard's son."
Friends
"It's like inviting a Greek tragedy over for dinner."
Friends
"I mean, come on, Phoebe, you understand, don't you?"
Friends
"Yeah, I could see where I'd be your best shot, but no."
Friends
"- What's twisted? - Oh. Me going out with Richard's son."
Friends
"Ew."
Friends
"Ew, ew, ew."
Friends
"CHANDLER: It sounds like a really bad idea to me."
Friends
"He's fine."
Friends
"You know, if things work out between you and Richard's son..."
Friends
"...you'll be able to tell your kids that you slept with their grandfather."
Friends
"But married a lesbian, left a man at the altar, fell in love with a gay ice dancer..."
Friends
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