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Clips from Glee - 100 (S05E05)

You were never like them.

"You were never like them."

Glee

You were just always

"You were just always"

Glee

the best damn singer that I've ever heard.

"the best damn singer that I've ever heard."

Glee

You know, and I want you to be all big

"You know, and I want you to be all big"

Glee

and rich and famous.

"and rich and famous."

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I just want to be richer...

"I just want to be richer..."

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and bigger...

"and bigger..."

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and more famous.

"and more famous."

Glee

Oh, don't you think that

"Oh, don't you think that"

Glee

Beyoncé and Barbra feel that way?

"Beyoncé and Barbra feel that way?"

Glee

Girl, I don't know. Ask me when I get my first gold record.

"Girl, I don't know. Ask me when I get my first gold record."

Glee

Okay?

"Okay?"

Glee

Well, I mean,

"Well, I mean,"

Glee

I will have won

"I will have won"

Glee

my first Tony by then, so... Oh...

"my first Tony by then, so... Oh..."

Glee

Come here.

"Come here."

Glee

After the unpleasantness of our last encounter,

"After the unpleasantness of our last encounter,"

Glee

I decided to do some deep background

"I decided to do some deep background"

Glee

to investigate your claims,

"to investigate your claims,"

Glee

conducted in an intensive Wikipedia search

"conducted in an intensive Wikipedia search"

Glee

that took all of 25 seconds.

"that took all of 25 seconds."

Glee

You, April Rhodes,

"You, April Rhodes,"

Glee

were the mistress of

"were the mistress of"

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local strip-mall magnate Buddy Leibowitz,

"local strip-mall magnate Buddy Leibowitz,"

Glee

whose wife offered you $2 million

"whose wife offered you $2 million"

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to keep the affair quiet

"to keep the affair quiet"

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after her husband's untimely demise.

"after her husband's untimely demise."

Glee

It was that money that you placed into an annuity

"It was that money that you placed into an annuity"

Glee

That's right.

"That's right."

Glee

Well, it didn't last.

"Well, it didn't last."

Glee

In fact, that money ran out six weeks ago.

"In fact, that money ran out six weeks ago."

Glee

Will Schuester's profligate spending

"Will Schuester's profligate spending"

Glee

and his penchant for staging elaborate private bacchanalia

"and his penchant for staging elaborate private bacchanalia"

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replete with extravagant scenery and costumes

"replete with extravagant scenery and costumes"

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not seen since the reign of Caligula.

"not seen since the reign of Caligula."

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I have here a line-item budget

"I have here a line-item budget"

Glee

of the jungle set you constructed

"of the jungle set you constructed"

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onstage a few weeks back

"onstage a few weeks back"

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so the glee club could perform

"so the glee club could perform"

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a Katy Perry song

"a Katy Perry song"

Glee

literally for just you.

"literally for just you."

Glee

Whoa, whoa, hold-hold on. Let-let me see that.

"Whoa, whoa, hold-hold on. Let-let me see that."

Glee

I don't know what the problem is,

"I don't know what the problem is,"

Glee

but whatever money the glee club needs,

"but whatever money the glee club needs,"

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I'm good for it.

"I'm good for it."

Glee

April Rhodes is rich!

"April Rhodes is rich!"

Glee

No, April Rhodes is under indictment

"No, April Rhodes is under indictment"

Glee

from the Securities and Exchange Commission

"from the Securities and Exchange Commission"

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and in violation of her $3 million bail

"and in violation of her $3 million bail"

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that forbids her from leaving the state of New York.

"that forbids her from leaving the state of New York."

Glee

Oh, snap!

"Oh, snap!"

Glee

Wait, what?

"Wait, what?"

Glee

Well, what April may have neglected to mention

"Well, what April may have neglected to mention"

Glee

is that her most recent john

"is that her most recent john"

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was none other than the disgraced financier

"was none other than the disgraced financier"

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Bernie Madoff.

"Bernie Madoff."

Glee

All of April's assets,

"All of April's assets,"

Glee

including her private island,

"including her private island,"

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have been frozen.

"have been frozen."

Glee

April, is this true?

"April, is this true?"

Glee

Gulp.

"Gulp."

Glee

Sure sounds true, doesn't it?

"Sure sounds true, doesn't it?"

Glee

I'm sorry, Will.

"I'm sorry, Will."

Glee

It does appear that

"It does appear that"

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the glee club is indeed over.

"the glee club is indeed over."

Glee

Will, wait! Wait!

"Will, wait! Wait!"

Glee

This is yours. Yes.

"This is yours. Yes."

Glee

Will, wait! I can explain...

"Will, wait! I can explain..."

Glee

Explain what, April?

"Explain what, April?"

Glee

That's you're a pathological liar

"That's you're a pathological liar"

Glee

whom I never should have trusted?

"whom I never should have trusted?"

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Yes, exactly.

"Yes, exactly."

Glee

You did the worst thing

"You did the worst thing"

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you possibly could've done.

"you possibly could've done."

Glee

You gave me hope.

"You gave me hope."

Glee

What are you talking about? A tattoo?

"What are you talking about? A tattoo?"

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It's not that bad. I mean, it was...

"It's not that bad. I mean, it was..."

Glee

On your lower back? Ryan Seacrest?

"On your lower back? Ryan Seacrest?"

Glee

There's not a laser big enough.

"There's not a laser big enough."

Glee

You should've told me this weeks ago.

"You should've told me this weeks ago."

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We're in the 20th century. That doesn't make sense.

"We're in the 20th century. That doesn't make sense."

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The 21st, almost. Is there a problem here?

"The 21st, almost. Is there a problem here?"

Glee

Puck, go away. Okay? We're...

"Puck, go away. Okay? We're..."

Glee

Was she always this big of a liar?

"Was she always this big of a liar?"

Glee

Doesn't that mean something?

"Doesn't that mean something?"

Glee

Wh... a baby?

"Wh... a baby?"

Glee

I mean, what happens if we got married

"I mean, what happens if we got married"

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and this kid shows up looking for money?

"and this kid shows up looking for money?"

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Was this the loser who knocked you up?

"Was this the loser who knocked you up?"

Glee

Yes, yes. Puck is the father. Yeah.

"Yes, yes. Puck is the father. Yeah."

Glee

I am looking for acceptance here, okay?

"I am looking for acceptance here, okay?"

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This is how I love.

"This is how I love."

Glee

That may be how you

"That may be how you"

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and your loser friends love,

"and your loser friends love,"

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but where I come from,

"but where I come from,"

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you carry your past with you.

"you carry your past with you."

Glee

You are the worst kind of hypocrite.

"You are the worst kind of hypocrite."

Glee

You walk around like you're some

"You walk around like you're some"

Glee

Snow frickin' White, but you're really

"Snow frickin' White, but you're really"

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just a dirty little slutbag.

"just a dirty little slutbag."

Glee

Ow, ow, ow, ow! You shouldn't have said that.

"Ow, ow, ow, ow! You shouldn't have said that."

Glee

Ow, God, let go! Am I bleeding?

"Ow, God, let go! Am I bleeding?"

Glee

Not yet.

"Not yet."

Glee

You're hurting him! Stop!

"You're hurting him! Stop!"

Glee

Kind of the point!

"Kind of the point!"

Glee

Knock it off!

"Knock it off!"

Glee

Stop!

"Stop!"

Glee

Help me get him out of here.

"Help me get him out of here."

Glee

Do you have any idea

"Do you have any idea"

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Look, you can crawl into the trash

"Look, you can crawl into the trash"

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and help him out,

"and help him out,"

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or you can come be with your real friends

"or you can come be with your real friends"

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in the choir room.

"in the choir room."

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I'll be waiting.

"I'll be waiting."

Glee

All right, everybody. It's time to get

"All right, everybody. It's time to get"

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this voting nonsense out of the way

"this voting nonsense out of the way"

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so that we can continue on with what you all came here for:

"so that we can continue on with what you all came here for:"

Glee

the music.

"the music."

Glee

Y'all can use your left hand for anonymity.

"Y'all can use your left hand for anonymity."

Glee

But I'm left-handed.

"But I'm left-handed."

Glee

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