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Clips from The Simpsons - Kiss Kiss, Bang Bangalore (S17E17)

"This isn't a kidnapping."
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"No. Think of it as a two-on-one"
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"Macgyver convention."
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"That will never, never end."
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"First, you're gonna sign a couple of autographs."
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"You can write "help me" all you want."
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"No one will ever see it."
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"Dad, we'll miss you so much."
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"I'll miss you kids, too."
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"Attention."
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"India air flight 57 now boarding first class,"
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"small children and fat guys."
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"Homie, I got you something to read on the plane."
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"A book?"
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""Secrets I learned at breakfast"?"
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"The cereal's just a metaphor."
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"It's a book about management, and Lee Iacocca says"
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"it's "definitely dot dot dot useful.""
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"Thanks, sweetie."
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"I've never been less angry to receive a book."
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"this isn't India!"
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"Where's the university of Notre Dame,"
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"the indy 500, Wrigley Field, Dodger Dogs?"
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"You ignorant american, you have confused India with Indiana,"
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"Indiana with Illinois, and the Cubs with the Dodgers."
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"No! I took a job on the other side of the world!"
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"I hate this subcontinent!"
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"Hello."
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"Lisa, it's me!"
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"I'm in trouble!"
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"A cow took my iPod and I punched it!"
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"Do I have to?"
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"Okay, okay, I'll showthe cow I adore it."
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"Baby, did you lose weight?"
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"Come on, baby,don't play hard to milk."
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"Apu's cousin is medium height, dark complexion, brown eyes, black hair."
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"Are you Kavi? No."
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"Are you Kavi? Yes."
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"You must bemr. Homer."
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"Finally!"
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"He's escaped."
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"We'll be bustedfor kidnapping."
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"I can't face jail."
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"I can."
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"Richard Dean Anderson."
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"Why did you come back?"
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"To tell youhow I escaped."
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"I had to get out before another one of your bristly kisses."
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"Then I remembered the blue contacts I wear to hide my latino heritage."
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"Now all I needed was a sling strong enough to support my 200-pound frame."
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"A-bra-cada-bra."
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"Macgyver lives."
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"And not just at 2:00 A.M.On the USA network."
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"My real life escapefrom your love dungeon"
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"was the most excitingthing I've ever done."
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"It was?"
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"Tie me up soI can do it again."
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"But this timedon't make it so easy."
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"Delighted."
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"Too much?"
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"Not for Macgyver."
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"why did you want to makean entrance like that, sir?"
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"I am a showman."
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"The energy generated here is transmitted through"
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"undersea cables right back to america."
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"So what? Your beer's germanand the TV's japanese."
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"Well, is there anythingin this bar that's made in America?"
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"God! Misfire!"
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"You'll find his integrityand dedication make him..."
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"untouchable."
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"Sorry I'm late."
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"I was doing carnac with my bodyguard."
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"Hindu."
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"What do you callthe moisture on your hin?"
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"classic."
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"Now, tell them howto run a nuclear plant."
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"Did I say "um"?"
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"Wait, the book Marge gave me."
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"Okay, book, I didn't read you and you didn't read me,"
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"but we're bothin this together."
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"So say something smart or get ready to run like hell."
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""In business as in breakfast, fried eggs have fragile yolks.""
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"He's got them eating out of his hand."
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"And to think you doubted him, Smithers."
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"Sir, can we talk about this arranged marriage of mine?"
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"Yello."
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"Dad, I got to write a report on the Great Lakes."
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"Just outsource it to Lisa."
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"Outsourcing is the answer to everything."
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"Also, I can't sleep at night"
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"'cause there's this new bully who follows me home, and..."
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"Outsourcing."
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"I'm very glad to see you favor outsourcing."
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"I myself have found work with several american companies."
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"Have you tried disabling your firewall?"
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"Well, we have a cotton bowl special."
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"Go aggies!"
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"This is queen mama jumbo."
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"The stars tell me you have a question."
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"No, jenny, don't be dating that boy."
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"The bones don't lie. He's bad mojo, girl."
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"Okay, here's the plan."
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"You lock me in the trunk of a car"
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"and park it under the pier at low tide."
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"All I need are these everyday objects:"
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"A nail file, a farmer's almanac, a gun with no bullets,"
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"some bullets and three of my Macgyver writers."
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"Sounds great."
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"Can we do it during lunch?"
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"Now!"
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"Simpson, I don't know how you're doing it,"
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"but you're out putting ten times the power"
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"our american plant ever did."
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"Well, a little bookonce told me..."
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"Having only one pancake leaves room for more bacon."
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"I see what you're saying."
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"We're crowding your plate."
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"Let's go, Smithers."
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"You're giving meabsolute power?"
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"Sir, doesn't that corrupt?"
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