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Clips from The Crown (2016) - The Balmoral Test (S04E04)

"Thank you."
The Crown (2016)
"The way those men patronize me,"
The Crown (2016)
"their solutions to the problems this country faces,"
The Crown (2016)
"so unimaginative, and cautious, and…"
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"Speaking of wet,"
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"that's the forecast for Balmoral."
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"So no golf for yours truly."
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"They are faint hearts."
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"I had a call from Malcolm Muggeridge this morning,"
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"who said, "Watch out for the tests.""
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""Oh, which tests?" said I."
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"Apparently, the royal family routinely subject all their guests"
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"to secret tests, to find out whether someone is acceptable or not acceptable."
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"U or non-U, part of the gang or not part of the gang. [chuckles]"
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"Apparently, it's ruthless,"
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"a blood sport in itself."
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"-Welcome to Balmoral Castle. -Yes."
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"-Mr. Thatcher. -How do you do?"
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"Oh, where…"
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"Ah…"
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"Oh yes. Well, we'll take this one, dear, thank you."
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"They're both yours, ma'am."
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"Oh."
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"[clears throat] Well…"
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"Thank you, dear."
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"[woman] It's not that, sir. Tips are left at the end of the stay."
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"No, no, dear, I like to do that myself, especially for my husband."
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"-[maid] Sorry, ma'am. -Thank you."
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"And two bedrooms."
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"I know. It's all very odd."
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"Are we allowed to sleep in one bed?"
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"I shall go and check with the protocol sheet."
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"What do you think 6:00 p.m. is? Drinks or dinner?"
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"Oh, who knows?"
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"-What do I wear? -What the heck? Who cares?"
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"Well, I care."
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"Every house has rules,"
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"and places like this are all about what you wear and when."
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"On the plane, you said there were tests."
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"-Oh. So you did hear what I said. -Of course I heard what you said."
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"Well, it might be nice."
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"I don't have the time to be nice."
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"Well, I'm sure to worry about it all would be to fail the tests."
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"6:00 p.m. is drinks before dinner."
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"Dinner is black-tie, ergo drinks are black-tie."
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"That's right."
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"[Denis] Hmm."
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"What a strange thing to say."
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"Most of the hinds haven't come on heat yet."
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"[Anne] Most likely in rut and had broken out of the herd."
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"Now let's sort out some tea."
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"[clock striking hour]"
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"[Denis] Right."
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"-Where to now? -Oh, I hear something."
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"[distant chattering]"
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"Oh, I do believe…"
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"-Here? -Yes."
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"[overlapping chatter]"
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"[whimpers]"
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"What are they doing?"
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"Prime Minister. How nice to see you."
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"Your Majesty."
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"[Elizabeth] And dressed for dinner already."
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"It's six o'clock."
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"Tell the kitchens we'll eat in 45 minutes."
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"[Elizabeth] Good boy."
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"-Good evening. -Good evening."
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"Your Royal Highness."
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"Well, I think we've failed that test."
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"[bagpipes playing]"
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"[indistinct chatter]"
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"and sir, you're sitting on the left…"
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"-Did you call back? -Yes, I tried. Erm…"
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"[screeching bellow]"
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"-[laughter] -Yes."
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"[clears throat, bellows]"
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"-[bellowing] -[Philip] That is absolutely terrible."
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"-[man] Louder. -[chuckling]"
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"Did I hear there was a sighting on the western shore of the loch?"
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"Ridiculous suggestion."
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"-Why is that? -Low ground. It's too open."
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"That's where you'll find him."
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"-I see. -Am I right?"
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"…criminal offense to kill a perfectly healthy breeding stag like that."
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"But commercial guests want trophies"
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"and are prepared to pay huge amounts of money,"
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"I have some sympathy."
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"It's business."
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"It's not business."
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"It's conservation."
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"This is what people fail to understand. It's pure ignorance."
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"[overlapping conversations]"
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"[Elizabeth] Now, how about a round of games after supper?"
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"Number five ibble-dibble with one dibble-ibble"
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"Number four ibble-dibble with two dibble-ibbles"
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"So, number seven dibble-bibble--"
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"-Oh, Mummy! -No, you bibbled!"
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"[Anne] Margot, show Granny how it's done."
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"Tippity-toppity, down with the Nazis!"
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"Number three ibble-dibble with two dibble-ibbles"
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"calling…"
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"-number one ibble-dibble… -[gasping]"
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"…with no dibble-ibbles."
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"-[Denis] Oh. That's you again. -Good luck, Prime Minister."
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"Oh, thank you."
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"-[sighs] -[man chuckling]"
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"calling number…"
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"ten…"
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"ibble-dibble"
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"with…"
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"six dibble-ibbles."
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"-[low chattering] -[man] Oh, dear."
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"Yes, you did. Very good."
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"[Thatcher] Would you mind passing that down?"
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"Great. [chuckles]"
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"Well done."
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"-[Philip] What was she doing? -[Elizabeth] She was rather hopeless."
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"But I'm willing to give her the benefit of the doubt."
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"It was probably just nerves."
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"Of the situation, of where she finds herself."
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