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Clips from Master of None - The Thief (S02E02)

"Okay. Yes. Thank you."
Master of None
"Allora..."
Master of None
"We eat together."
Master of None
"I guess we just follow her."
Master of None
"You're not gonna murder me or anything, are you?"
Master of None
"No."
Master of None
"I'm a very basic, basic British girl. I promise."
Master of None
"What does that mean? Like, you're really into tea and those tiny sandwiches?"
Master of None
"Oh-ho! So we're gonna go for stereotypes immediately, are we?"
Master of None
"You know there's no strawberries and cream here, right?"
Master of None
"I know that much."
Master of None
"- But... - Grazie."
Master of None
"If this gets weird, by the way,"
Master of None
"listen to a podcast, and just eat the food."
Master of None
"Well, if you get weird..."
Master of None
"I'll do the same thing. That's a really good plan."
Master of None
"- Oh! - Oh, man alive."
Master of None
"That is so good."
Master of None
"Dev, thank you again for sorting this out for me."
Master of None
"I was about to have this sad birthday lunch by myself."
Master of None
"I don't know what I was thinking."
Master of None
"And you."
Master of None
"And how is your pasta making going?"
Master of None
"I am one of the top 50 pasta makers in Modena"
Master of None
"of Indian descent."
Master of None
"No, there's three of us, and we're all bad."
Master of None
"And when you're done, do you think"
Master of None
"that you'll go back to New York, or what do you think you'll do?"
Master of None
"I don't know."
Master of None
"I love it there, but I like how quiet and peaceful it is here."
Master of None
"- You know? - Yeah."
Master of None
"It is a hard city to be single in, though."
Master of None
"Everyone either has a boyfriend or a husband, or they are a grandma."
Master of None
"So I don't know."
Master of None
"And you moved here, like, just after you broke up, right?"
Master of None
"- Mm-hmm. - So this is your..."
Master of None
"Diane Lane, Under the Tuscan Sun moment."
Master of None
"What's that?"
Master of None
"Diane Lane's husband cheats on her."
Master of None
"She moves to Tuscany, falls in love with a handyman."
Master of None
"It is the greatest film."
Master of None
"Wait."
Master of None
"So, in Unfaithful, she cheats on her husband,"
Master of None
"and in this one, she gets cheated on?"
Master of None
"What goes around comes around, Diane Lane."
Master of None
"Um, what about you? What's your story?"
Master of None
"- You live in New York. - Mm-hmm."
Master of None
"What do you do work-wise?"
Master of None
"Oh, cool. What'd you do?"
Master of None
"Ugh, God, please don't pretend to be curious."
Master of None
"Yeah, I know. That "oh, cool" wasn't genuine."
Master of None
"I regretted it as soon as I said it."
Master of None
"Uh, finance sucks."
Master of None
"What other stuff?"
Master of None
"Relationships. Tell me."
Master of None
"My last relationship lasted two years."
Master of None
"and there was a naked woman sat on my couch,"
Master of None
"Assuming this person was involved with your boyfriend"
Master of None
"and not a nude burglar"
Master of None
"that was concerned about the whole bee die-off."
Master of None
"Yes. Yes, he was inserting his penis"
Master of None
"Thank you for reminding me."
Master of None
"That bee documentary, though, worth a watch."
Master of None
"- Narrated by Ellen Page? - Yeah."
Master of None
"I'm familiar."
Master of None
"Good, right?"
Master of None
"Can I tell you something?"
Master of None
"I don't know if I would've been so keen on inviting you"
Master of None
"if you didn't have such a lovely British accent."
Master of None
"Really?"
Master of None
"Do you think you can do one?"
Master of None
"'Ello."
Master of None
"I'm Dev from Devonshire."
Master of None
"I drive a Jaguar,"
Master of None
"and I live in Buckingham Palace."
Master of None
"Buckingham Palace?"
Master of None
"How did you manage that one?"
Master of None
"Found it on Craigslist."
Master of None
"Your accent is terrible."
Master of None
"- Bollocks. - No, "bol-locks.""
Master of None
"Bollocks!"
Master of None
"Okay. Maybe let's not shout "testicles" in a restaurant."
Master of None
"were coming down the pavement, and I didn't know what to do."
Master of None
"I turned into the road"
Master of None
"- That feels... - Cobbles!"
Master of None
"How do you eat all of this food and stay so skinny?"
Master of None
"Secret is, I don't."
Master of None
"I'm getting chubby."
Master of None
"Oh, what's that?"
Master of None
"- You want to snap a pic? - Yeah, sure."
Master of None
"Uno, due, tre, formaggio!"
Master of None
"It's rubbish."
Master of None
"I'm kidding. I'm kidding. It's good."
Master of None
"This is the first ever McDonald's PlayPlace."
Master of None
"I had a really good time."
Master of None
"- Yeah. I did too. That was so much fun. - Good."
Master of None
"What are you up to this weekend?"
Master of None
"Well, some friends and I got this Airbnb house in Puglia..."
Master of None
"- And you want me to come clean it. - Yes. Yes, I do."
Master of None
"- Yes. That'd be amazing. - Oh, great."
Master of None
"Um, well, I got your number. I'll text you."
Master of None
"Perfecto."
Master of None
"No. No. Not perfecto."
Master of None
"All right, dick. Do you want to come or..."
Master of None
"but I've been drinking a lot of wine today."
Master of None
"I kind of want to make out with you."
Master of None
"That'll be more romantic, right?"
Master of None
"Like, our first kiss is in Puglia?"
Master of None
"Sure. Okay. Okay."
Master of None
"- Wait, is that stupid? - No, I think it's sweet."
Master of None
"- I'm up for it. - Okay."
Master of None
"I have to go get my train."
Master of None
"- All right. - Okay. Oh..."
Master of None
"- Yeah. Okay. - All right."
Master of None
"- Bye. - Bye."
Master of None
"That was dumb. Should have just made out now."
Master of None
"Are you taking my phone?"
Master of None
"Thief! Thief! Thief! Thief!"
Master of None
"Mario, Mario, my phone!"
Master of None
"My photo! My photo!"
Master of None
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