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Clips from Friends - The One with the Mugging (S09E09)

"Guys! Guys! I've got great news. Guess what."
Friends
"Yes, I did! I did!"
Friends
"- Is it a good play'? - It must be."
Friends
"- They played it right before Jackass. - Ah."
Friends
"Oh, yeah, yeah. He has."
Friends
"- He's done some amazing work. - Oh, yeah."
Friends
"I'm heading in a new career direction and you gotta start at the bottom."
Friends
"- Go! Go! - I can't."
Friends
"Oh! Oh, I thought that was your character's name. You know?"
Friends
"No, listen, if you insist on this..."
Friends
"No, no, no. It's that you're not connected with anything in your body."
Friends
"- It's a race. - Uh-huh."
Friends
"What do you mean, "no"? I knew you'd be my death, Phoebe Buffay!"
Friends
"- I can't believe you're still doing this. - Ah, I know. But I quit smoking."
Friends
"Oh, my God. Phoebe, you used to mug people?"
Friends
"So you're a little older."
Friends
"...because no self-respecting adult would ever wear these."
Friends
""Kids! Kids! Roll your way to childhood obesity!""
Friends
"That's not what they're looking for."
Friends
"I had a hard life. My mother was killed by a drug dealer."
Friends
"Okay."
Friends
"- You were? - Yeah. And it was pretty traumatic."
Friends
"...to pick up a couple of dozen linzer tortes for someone..."
Friends
"Oh, yeah! What was his superpower again?"
Friends
"- Yeah? - Well, a pipe was my weapon of choice..."
Friends
"- You're late. - I know. I'm sorry."
Friends
"...you bring to the character I couldn't have imagined."
Friends
"More. More. Can you do that?"
Friends
"Look at that! Still in character. I like him."
Friends
"Mm-hm. - ...that eggnog in our fridge was great!"
Friends
"These aren't half bad. You should suggest these to Ralph Lauren."
Friends
"No, it wasn't. You don't think I would have defended myself against a 14-year-old...?"
Friends
"Yeah. And I'm so, so sorry, Ross. I'm sorry."
Friends
"But, you know, if you think about it, it's kind of neat."
Friends
"It's not the best!"
Friends
"That's interesting."
Friends
"I just really wanted to apologize again."
Friends
"Anyway, I was looking through it, and I found..."
Friends
"What...?"
Friends
"And maybe it would be worth something one day."
Friends
"Still, this is amazing!"
Friends
"- I need an answer now! - You want an answer? The answer is..."
Friends
"Wait, wait, wait! Congratulations. You did it."
Friends
"On a Saturday afternoon?"
Friends
"- Uh, Monica's pregnant! - Really?"
Friends
"Let's get past the moment."
Friends
"- What's your news? - Thank you."
Friends
"I got a job in advertising."
Friends
"- Oh, honey, that's incredible! - Wow."
Friends
"Gosh, what's the pay like?"
Friends
"Oh, come on, people."
Friends
"If I don't know who makes the most..."
Friends
"...how do I know who I like the most? Hi, Joey."
Friends
"It pays nothing. It's an internship."
Friends
"We have interns at Days of our Lives."
Friends
"Right. So it'll be the same, except less sex with you."
Friends
"So, uh, what do you think they'll have you do there?"
Friends
"It's a training program, but they hire the people they like."
Friends
"- That's great! - There's gonna be some grunt work..."
Friends
"...which will stink. A grown man getting people coffee is humiliating."
Friends
"Humiliating and noble."
Friends
"Thank you."
Friends
"You know, if I didn't already have a job..."
Friends
"...I would've been good in advertising."
Friends
"Ross, you did not come up with "got milk?""
Friends
"I should've written it down."
Friends
"- Hey. - Hey."
Friends
"Where's Chandler? I wanna wish him good luck on his first day."
Friends
"- He just left. - Who did?"
Friends
"Joey, you're never gonna believe it! She called!"
Friends
"- She did'? - You got it!"
Friends
"- I did? - What is she talking about?"
Friends
"I don't know, but it sounds great!"
Friends
"No, your agent called. You got that audition!"
Friends
"Oh, my God, that is great! It's for a play on Broadway."
Friends
"And in a real theater. Not that little one underneath the deli like last time."
Friends
"I read it and didn't understand a single word!"
Friends
"- Leonard Hayes is starring in it. - Yeah, and directing."
Friends
"Oh, he was so good in that movie of Macbeth."
Friends
"- You saw that? - No, but I saw the previews."
Friends
"Oh, I loved him in those phone commercials."
Friends
"When the monkey hits him in the face with the giant rubber phone. Ha-ha-ha."
Friends
"Maybe the monkey will be at the audition."
Friends
"Don't make me more nervous than I already am!"
Friends
"- Good morning. - Can I get you a cup of coffee, sir?"
Friends
"Oh, no, no. I'm an intern, just like you guys."
Friends
"Except for the tie, the briefcase and the fact that I can rent a car."
Friends
"Seriously, you're an intern?"
Friends
"Dude."
Friends
"I know I'm a little older than you guys, but it's not like I'm Bob Hope."
Friends
"The comedian. USO."
Friends
"Uh, it's U.S.A., sir."
Friends
"This is Joey Tribbiani. Joey, these are the producers."
Friends
"And as you probably already know, this is Leonard Hayes."
Friends
"Wow."
Friends
"It is so amazing to meet you. I am such a big fan of your work."
Friends
"Well, I've been blessed with a lot of great roles."
Friends
"Tell me about it, huh? "Unlimited nights and weekends!""
Friends
"Are you making fun of me? Because I am not a sellout."
Friends
"I didn't do it for money. I believe in those phones!"
Friends
"I almost lost a cousin because of bad wireless service."
Friends
"- Really? - Yeah."
Friends
"Well, I do bring a certain credibility to the role."
Friends
"- It's true. - Are you kidding?"
Friends
"When they shoot you out of that cannon..."
Friends
""Hang up that phone!""
Friends
"- One take. - Wow."
Friends
"Did that in one. I know."
Friends
"- So shall we read? - Oh, yeah, sure."
Friends
"Top of Act 2. This is my entrance. You got it?"
Friends
"What the hell are you still doing here?"
Friends
"Oh. Uh."
Friends
"- I think you know. - Bastard!"
Friends
"I am what you made me. You know what? I could go right now."
Friends
"Oh, I want to, Long Pause..."
Friends
"...but I can't."
Friends
"I'm so sorry. You're not supposed to say "long pause.""
Friends
"I thought you were, like, an Indian or something, you know, with the..."
Friends
"- Sorry. - Long Pause."
Friends
"No. Thank you so much for coming in. We appreciate it. Thank you."
Friends
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