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Clips from The Good Place - What We Owe to Each Other (S01E01)

"So you need me to house-sit the whole week?"
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"Sounds like somebody's gonna have a sweet vay-cay."
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"As I told you before, my mom is very sick."
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"I'm gonna help her move into assisted living."
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"Well, I'm here for you."
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"And your Wi-Fi is way better than my neighbor's, so I'm in."
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"It's gonna mean taking care of Lester too."
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"Walk and feed him twice a day."
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"Give him his kidney medicine."
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"Yup, got it... feed his kidneys."
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"- Eleanor? - Yeah?"
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"This is gonna be a very stressful week for me."
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"I need to know that I can count on you."
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"I won't let you down."
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"How are you?"
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"- I am decidedly so. - That's very profound."
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"an idea."
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"Our neighborhood now features a spa,"
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"and it offers couples packages."
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"And I thought maybe we could get facials"
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"and do yoga and talk"
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"in long, discursive sentences."
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"What do you say?"
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"Marvelous. We'll go today."
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"Dude, you got to come with us to the spa."
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"No way."
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"No, that's really weird."
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"You can't make small talk with her for one day"
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"without being caught?"
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"No, I can't, and she freaks me out."
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"She's so pretty, like Nala from "The Lion King.""
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"And she talks so smart, like, um..."
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"Nala from "The Lion King.""
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"You got to help me."
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"Well, if I feel sympathy for anyone, it's Tahani."
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"She's going through the same thing I am,"
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"but she doesn't know it."
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"Although maybe it's better not to know."
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"Is ignorance bliss, or will the painful truth"
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"actually be healing..."
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"You ready, Jianyu?"
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"Oh, I cannot wait to just relax and talk and chat"
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"and just, you know..."
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"get to know each other."
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"Hey!"
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"Oh."
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"Well, Chidi..."
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"it's just that this is, um..."
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"this is really more of a couples thing."
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"I know."
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"But Eleanor's off with Michael,"
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"and Jianyu feels comfortable when I'm around."
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"- Made in Taiwan. - Yes, you were."
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"You were made in Taiwan."
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"Let's go!"
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"I never really looked around your office the first day."
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"What is all this junk?"
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"Well, technically, architects aren't allowed"
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"to own any human objects, but..."
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"oh, I just love them so much."
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"Aren't paper clips the most amazing things in the world?"
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"Yeah. Sure."
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"in the neighborhood is a design flaw"
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"which is causing everything to go haywire."
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"So we need to find that object."
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"We're gonna start with the rocks."
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"in the neighborhood."
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"These 78 are the most suspicious."
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"Maybe to an architect, they might look suspicious,"
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"but to me, they just look like rocks,"
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"so I'm not sure how I can help."
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"Do any of them look defective?"
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"Sinister?"
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"You know, like they're taunting you?"
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"Always one step ahead?"
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"You devious little monsters, you."
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"Okay, let's take a deep breath here, buddy."
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"You need to chill a little."
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"'Cause you have a very psycho,"
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"at a library computer" type vibe."
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"It's my responsibility to solve the problem."
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"What else can I do"
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"You could stop working."
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"Look, I promised to help you,"
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"and honestly, the way I can help you"
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"is to force you to take a break."
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"And not working will help me work?"
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"Recharge the old batteries."
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"I promise this is gonna help both of us."
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"Let's go."
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"Okay."
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"Let's keep our eyes peeled for twigs that may have"
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"a nefarious agenda."
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"- Okay, crazy, come on. - Yeah."
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"Hello, Janet."
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"Couples are pairs of people."
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"Yup, and, uh, there is a pair of people,"
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"Tahani and Jianyu."
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"And then also I am here."
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"Great, and who will be joining you?"
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"No one."
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"Um, it's really quite simple, Janet."
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"They are a couple, and I am a third part"
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"Uh, a helper part who is here for fun"
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"and excitement."
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"It's a three-person couple."
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"Does not compute."
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"Does not compute."
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"but I'm not gonna explode or anything."
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"Right."
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"Well, I'll see you inside, darling."
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"Okay, you have to step up."
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"Find a way to connect with her without,"
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"Do I talk or not talk?"
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"Do I be nice to Tahani, or do I throw"
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"all her jewelry in the toilet?"
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"That's the opposite of being nice?"
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"So no toilet?"
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"What is it with you and frozen yogurt?"
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"Have you not heard of ice cream?"
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