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Clips from The Simpsons - Simple Simpson (S15E15)

"Dad, this is the basement."
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"Here's the iced tea I left down here this afternoon."
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"So it would seem. Anyhoo, I bet this"
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"is all a pretty big surprise, huh?"
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"You're not mild-mannered."
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"You're often liquored up and rude."
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"Now what brings you down here?"
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"I want you to stop this, Dad, before you get killed."
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"All right, I'll stop."
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"What'll I do with these pies?"
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"Well, I know one thing you could do."
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"(WHISTLING)"
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"Simpson, you're late, bald, and stupid. I'm docking you a day's pay."
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"No, I shouldn't. Or should I?"
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"Mr. Burns... Bald-headed little... Kill you, you..."
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"Won't someone help us?"
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"Hey, Homer, throw me at Mr. Burns."
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"(CACKLING)"
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"Don't do it, Homer. You made a promise to Lisa."
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"Tell you what, Homer."
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"You make one last hit and then you're out of the business forever."
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"Hey! Attention."
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"While you've been showering here, I sold all your clothes."
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"Again?"
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"I've run out of pie-related puns!"
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"(ALL LAUGHING)"
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"He won't escape, sir."
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"(SNORING)"
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"Sir, I never..."
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"I am the Pie Man..."
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"To the employee prison!"
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"poked holes for eyes, and attached a rubber band around the back!"
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"It's not a rubber band, it's a scrunchie."
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"Or I'll chop you into suet for my murderous gerbils and hamsters!"
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"You'll work for me now."
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"I already work for you."
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"In addition to working in your normal capacity at the plant,"
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"Do I get two paychecks? No."
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"(SHRIEKS)"
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"Here's your first assignment to prove your loyalty."
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"But I promised my daughter..."
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"Do as I say! Or I'll tell the police."
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"You'll do so much community service."
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"No! Not community service!"
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"I can't stand helping others! I just can't!"
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"(GASPS) No, not him! Anyone but him!"
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"I've had my problems with him. Everyone has."
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"But like every monster, he just wants to be loved."
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"Oh..."
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"Come on. It's cobblering time."
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"(GROANING)"
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"I can't sleep. I keep thinking about the Pie Man."
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"Oh, me, too."
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"Not because he wanted to,"
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"would never cave in to blackmail."
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"(GROANS SADLY)"
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"Now on a different subject, kiss me hard!"
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"You know, I'm not Pie Man."
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"I don't care."
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"Girl Scout cookies!"
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"HOMER: Oh, come on. She's a little girl!"
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"MR. BURNS: Grow a spine on your own time, blimpo!"
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"Just one second, sweetheart."
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"Now pie that Brownie, fruitcake!"
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"Sir, my baby wants to play Patty Cake, now!"
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"Your assignment."
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"HOMER: (GASPS) The Dalai Lama?"
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"All his talk of peace and love is really"
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"honking off my red Chinese masters."
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"Now, Smithers, walk me around the park"
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"until I fall asleep. I'm feeling fussy."
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"As Springfield's youngest Buddhist,"
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"I am deeply honored to introduce the Dalai Lama."
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"Oh, I can't do this in front of Lisa."
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"Pie him or I'll reveal your secret to the world."
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"And now, please welcome the Elvis of Enlightenment,"
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"the lean, serene chanting machine: the Dalai Lama!"
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"(HORNS PLAYING)"
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"Greetings, fellow travelers on the path to enlightenment."
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"No, Pie Man! Don't do it!"
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"Come on, Pie Man, hit him!"
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"Oh! No, I won't!"
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"There's only one way I can escape from this nightmare!"
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"(ALL GASP)"
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"Homer Simpson? It was him all along?"
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"His brain isn't large enough to juggle two contrasting personae!"
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"Yeah, and Homer's a dumb-ass. No offense, Homer."
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"No, you're not. The Pie Man could fly."
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"And spit acid."
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"And animals did his bidding."
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"(MUTTERING IN AGREEMENT)"
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"If it wasn't Simpson, who was it?"
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"that even you couldn't live up to."
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"On to my next engagement, Buffalo, New York."
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"I know one person who believes you're the Pie Man, Homie."
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"Was it the kiss?"
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"No. It was clearly you in that suit."
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"You'd have to be an idiot not to see it from the start."
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"So, Pie Man, why don't you show me your super powers?"
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"Wherever injustice shows its ugly face, I will be there!"
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"(BOTH GROANING)"
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"Well, you don't need a boat because you can walk."
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"of Farmer Billy's bacon factory."
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"(WHISTLING NONCHALANTLY)"
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"Hey, I know that country!"
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"On the cover of some mag"
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"Of all the days for you to get a zit."
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"Let's see how your sister's doing"
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"JUDGE: Hmm."
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"Did not arrive. (MOANING)"
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"champagne flutes, and of course, chopsticks."
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"Zing!"
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"That's really sweet, honey."
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"Fantastic Four, it's Fantastic Floor."
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"(DOOR CHIME RINGS)"
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"Oh! You finally accepted my invitation for tea and chit chat."
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"Oh, I think you'd find his filling extremely hot."
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"This is for your show's slight decline in quality over the years!"
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"which is tossing out all its sick youngsters"
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"(HACKING)"
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