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Clips from Family Guy - The Former Life of Brian (S06E06)

"Stupid face painter's apparently never heard of Darth Maul."
Family Guy
"Because I'll just wrap you up and eat you later."
Family Guy
"...with Owens Corning fiberglass insulation."
Family Guy
"But don't worry, he won't burn in hell..."
Family Guy
"- How about that magician, huh? - Yeah, he's great."
Family Guy
"Welcome to the wonderful world of magic. Hope I don't get AIDS."
Family Guy
"Oh, man. What a good bunch of partying at that discotheque."
Family Guy
"Any more and I would've ended up in hospital, man."
Family Guy
"Oh, yeah, but it was so expensive. Each drink was like six dollars forty."
Family Guy
"You need an act. I'll be your assistant and we'll put on a whole big show."
Family Guy
"I'll let you in on a little secret."
Family Guy
"Okay, kids, it's time for the magic show."
Family Guy
"How about a big round of applause for The Amazing Brian?"
Family Guy
"Oh, who am I kidding? I insisted on it."
Family Guy
"- But that makes her feel useful. - I'm gonna fix him."
Family Guy
"- But I don't. - God, I am so sick of this crap."
Family Guy
"Well, this was a lot of effort for nothing."
Family Guy
"Oh, thanks, man. That launched my career."
Family Guy
"...and sell that picture one person at a time."
Family Guy
"Tracy Flannigan."
Family Guy
"She was the greatest girl I ever met, and I blew it."
Family Guy
"So you do go all the way."
Family Guy
"Uh, Tracy? Tracy Flannigan?"
Family Guy
"Uh, yeah. It's me."
Family Guy
"Yeah. Haircut."
Family Guy
"There's someone I've wanted you to meet for a long time."
Family Guy
"I've wanted you to meet Dylan for a long time, Brian."
Family Guy
"- Goodbye, Tin Man. - Goodbye, Dorothy."
Family Guy
"It's like cutting a huge fart then walking out of the room."
Family Guy
"- It's Wednesday. - Up yours."
Family Guy
"- Those are dog years. - That doesn't make any sense."
Family Guy
"...living in a downstairs apartment."
Family Guy
"- Achoo. - Quiet. Keep it down up there."
Family Guy
"I don't know, Brian. Raising a child is a very rewarding experience."
Family Guy
"But, Dylan, my God."
Family Guy
"No, no. Tracy can't do this. She can't leave him here."
Family Guy
"Well, we can't just turn him away, Brian. After all, he is family."
Family Guy
"I don't know. Where's he gonna sleep?"
Family Guy
"No, my pants just got shorter because I hated the idea."
Family Guy
"Boy, there is a lot of feces in here."
Family Guy
"You wouldn't believe what he did to Meg yesterday."
Family Guy
"He made her watch the other 178 hours of Monty Python stuff..."
Family Guy
"I have a pet hedgehog named Zippy..."
Family Guy
"I'm a girl. I don't even like the good Monty Python sketches."
Family Guy
"Don't worry, I got it under control, Lois."
Family Guy
"You're weird. Yeah, and you're attractive."
Family Guy
"How to Lose a Guy in 10 Seconds, starring Stewie Griffin, huh?"
Family Guy
"Hey, where is Brian, anyway?"
Family Guy
"Oh, thanks, Lois. Dylan put this paper bag on my head..."
Family Guy
"Ah. Oh, my God, Cocoa Puffs. No, that's not me anymore."
Family Guy
"I don't care I'm you father, you don't care you're my son."
Family Guy
"Fine. I hate it here anyhow. Get out of my way."
Family Guy
"And then in chapter 28 of my novel..."
Family Guy
"Dude, that is an amazing story."
Family Guy
"...but, you know, Dylan, I gotta tell you something."
Family Guy
"If I had known having a son could be like this..."
Family Guy
"- It wasn't my fault. - You weren't there for me."
Family Guy
"Damn it, don't you think I wanted to be?"
Family Guy
"It's gonna be different from now on."
Family Guy
"Just passing through. See anything you like, speak up."
Family Guy
"- Oh, this kid. He's only 13. - I know. I was just kidding."
Family Guy
"Oh, we got a young Adam Sandler here, I think, right?"
Family Guy
"All right, kids. Have a good day at school."
Family Guy
"- Hey, Dylan. Have a great day at school. - Thanks, Dad."
Family Guy
"- You're there. - I'll always be there, Dylan."
Family Guy
"- Fuck you. - Whoa, not the kind of language..."
Family Guy
"Crudely painted, not-so-funny plywood cutout folk art."
Family Guy
"Crudely painted, not-so-funny plywood cutout folk art."
Family Guy
"- I don't know what I would do. - I understand, that'd be tough."
Family Guy
"Until you have a child... Until you have a child..."
Family Guy
"- Jesus. - It's been like this all week."
Family Guy
"Brian, what would you do if Dylan was in a fire?"
Family Guy
"- Knock on wood, knock on wood. - Look, Brian, there's a difference..."
Family Guy
"Now, that's a dad talking. That is a dad talking, Quagmire."
Family Guy
"Oh, that's Dylan's ring. Hey, bud, everything all right?"
Family Guy
"Really?"
Family Guy
"Well, you know what?"
Family Guy
"Can I come in there with you? There's light in there."
Family Guy
"...then stick my needle in your shoulder fat while you sleep."
Family Guy
"Wait a minute, maybe that's the answer."
Family Guy
"- Can I go out through here? - Just be back by bedtime."
Family Guy
"- Don't we have any whole-grain stuff? - No, this was cheaper."
Family Guy
"Okay, you know what? That's it, Brian. Feed him whatever you want."
Family Guy
"Tracy wants Dylan back. Don't you want Dylan back, Tracy?"
Family Guy
"All right. Okay, maybe I have been acting different lately, all right?"
Family Guy
"And I have no intention of giving that up."
Family Guy
"- I think maybe I should go with her. - What? Dylan, why?"
Family Guy
"You know, I guess a dad couldn't ask for more than that."
Family Guy
"I'm proud of you, Dylan."
Family Guy
"Goodbye, and good luck."
Family Guy
"Goodbye, Dad."
Family Guy
"Come on, Mom. Let's go."
Family Guy
"You know, I just finally figured it out."
Family Guy
"This party's worse than a Mexican funeral."
Family Guy
"Hmm. Don't let me catch you."
Family Guy
"Wait a minute. Hang on a second. Who's that?"
Family Guy
"That's Jared's mom. Her husband died in a wreck."
Family Guy
"Really?"
Family Guy
"Wait, he was either wounded or killed. I don't remember."
Family Guy
"Well, which is it? I can work with either."
Family Guy
"No, he's dead, he's dead. Just like the Pink Panther."
Family Guy
"What's wrong with him, doctor?"
Family Guy
"Well, it seems his lungs are completely filled..."
Family Guy
"- What? Will he be okay? - No, he won't be okay."
Family Guy
"One third of his body weight is Owens Corning fiberglass insulation."
Family Guy
"Well, that's it."
Family Guy
"I love magicians."
Family Guy
"I don't know why, but I've always found magic very sexy."
Family Guy
"- How long have you been doing magic? - Oh, long time."
Family Guy
"- I used to work with Doug Henning. - Wow."
Family Guy
"Oh, God. That is so my humor."
Family Guy
"You know, my son's birthday party is next weekend."
Family Guy
"Any chance I can hire you to do your act?"
Family Guy
"It's like listening to those foreign guys at the coffee shop, living in the U. S..."
Family Guy
"...almost long enough to sound American."
Family Guy
"They played one of my audience requests."
Family Guy
"Oh, you said it, friend."
Family Guy
"But I wanted to stay, because I almost had sex on this girl."
Family Guy
"And if I've done this right, then this is your card, Stewie."
Family Guy
"Really, Brian? Card tricks? That's gonna close the deal with this woman?"
Family Guy
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