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Clips from The Office - Moving On (S09E09)

"I mean, I saw Pete's butt."
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"I'll just-- I'll get it out of the way for you."
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"Jim set up a job interview for me today in Philly."
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"which is a great fit for me,"
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"because I live in a house"
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"and I know what a bathroom is."
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"I'm sorry. I am just very nervous,"
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"than I expected, and-- and because"
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"and see which feed she prefers."
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"I'm sorry to be taking up"
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"but she's your aunt too."
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"Fine. I'll see what I can do."
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"And you should take breaks more often. I've been waiting there for 45 minutes."
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"She's on her last legs."
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"- Dwight, that's awful. - You have no idea."
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"I mean, her hair, her clothes, it's all falling off"
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"in great, big clumps."
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"We had a nurse, but she quit,"
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"What do you mean by poisoned?"
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"Or lemonade and strychnine, which is actually what it was."
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"- Thank you. - But I don't see how this is my problem."
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"She's an old woman, Angela."
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"- It's all hanging out... - Ugh."
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"And there's parts of her I don't even recognize."
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"There's this one hanging part in particular"
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"that's some sort of flap. - It's fine."
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"I can't-- okay."
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"- I'll help you. - There's a divot where it was,"
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"and it needs-- it needs..."
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"Where are you going?"
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"Uh. Not on a three-month boat trip."
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"- Oh, burn. Ha."
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"Excuse me, everyone can just leave whenever they want now?"
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"- The answer is yes. - I have some messages for you."
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"Are they from you?"
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"You can keep 'em."
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"In fact you can keep that big, blue nautica sweater."
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"No, I insist upon it. It's an awesome sweater."
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"These are messages"
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"from clients who want to buy paper."
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"I don't want to talk about work right now."
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"Then I want my big blue sweater back."
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"My blue sweater."
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"Okay, Nard Dog, Plop, and Clarker Posey,"
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"Here's the sitch. Erin dumped me, natch,"
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"but she got rid of my blue sweater, which was her favorite."
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"or am I being a total psycho?"
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"Plop, you go first."
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"I don't know. Women do tend to move on"
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"quicker than men."
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"Survey says... [Makes buzzer sound]"
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"Doesn't make me feel better at all."
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"Zero Clark thirty, what do you got?"
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"I mean, you got your freedom now."
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"There you go. Good for you."
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"No."
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"You're just letting it all hang out."
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"Aunt Shirley, hello, it's me, Dwight."
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"Oh, looky here. It's big city Dwight."
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"Careful you don't get mud on those fancy town shoes,"
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"- Hello, aunt Shirley. - Who's this little kitchen witch?"
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"She's so tiny, like a little kitchen witch."
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"This is Angela, and we brought you some new clothes."
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"New clothes? What for?"
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"Ow!"
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"- No. No. - Yeah, trust me."
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"Go to the kitchen, get the largest receptacle you can find."
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"Step on it."
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"Has she found someone new or something?"
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"And, if so, why hasn't she told me?"
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"Is she trying to spare my feelings?"
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"During break-ups, the mind goes to some crazy dark places."
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"Andy, don't."
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"There's just some crud on her screen."
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"You're clearly snooping."
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"- Aw, come on. - That's her private property."
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"What does that even mean?"
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"- Put it down. - Andy."
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"- Hey! - Come on, Andy."
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"Oh, my God."
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"- See. - Nosy'll get you."
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"Darryl, Clark, Kevin, Toby, plop,"
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"All right, you guys are gonna think I'm psycho again."
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"Couldn't shake this feeling"
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"that Erin's dating someone, so I looked at her phone."
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"Man, you can't do that stuff."
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"When my ex-wife got into my email account,"
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"she was devastated."
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"Does anybody know a Pete?"
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"Pete what?"
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"It just occurred to me that Andy has been calling me plop"
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"Hello."
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"- Hey. There she is."
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"- How you doing? - Hi."
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"Hey, do I look okay?"
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"- Yeah. - What's that?"
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"- Is that a-- - Okay, I know"
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"where you're going with this, and this is who I am now."
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"But look what I can do with my hands."
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"Vip just walked through the door."
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"How are you, Isaac? You have something in your ear."
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"It's a phone."
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"Yes, it is, and thank you so much for setting up this opportunity."
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"Thanks."
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"- You are gonna crush it. - Mmh."
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"Wait, are you saying that into the phone"
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"Haha."
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"But, you know what, team Halpert, okay?"
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"You're gonna crush it."
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"Okay."
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"God, she drank so much."
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"In her prime, Shirls could put away homemade schnapps"
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"morning, noon, and night. - [Coughs and laughs]"
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"No, it's a lot better than it sounds."
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"very tasteful and very rustic."
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"Hey."
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"Come on in. Have a seat."
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"I just got to get something off my chest."
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"I just got some really weird news, and, uh,"
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"I'm just gonna come out and say it."
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