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Clips from Monty Python's Flying Circus - Blood, Devastation, Death, War and Horror (S03E03)

However, his rival employee, the huge bull pantomime horse

"However, his rival employee, the huge bull pantomime horse"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Poor pantomime horse.

"Poor pantomime horse."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Here we see a pantomime goose

"Here we see a pantomime goose"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

The enraged goose fires.

"The enraged goose fires."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Poor terence...

"Poor terence..."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Another victim of this silly film.

"Another victim of this silly film."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Here we see an enraged pantomime princess margaret.

"Here we see an enraged pantomime princess margaret."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

The unsuspecting breakfast glides ever closer to its doom.

"The unsuspecting breakfast glides ever closer to its doom."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

She raises her harpoon and fires.

"She raises her harpoon and fires."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Pang!

"Pang!"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Right in the toast.

"Right in the toast."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

A brief struggle, and all is over.

"A brief struggle, and all is over."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

I think the dining room wants his din-dins, too.

"I think the dining room wants his din-dins, too."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Your turn today, dear.

"Your turn today, dear."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

All right, mr. bedroom.

"All right, mr. bedroom."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

You'll get your dinner, too.

"You'll get your dinner, too."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Postman.

"Postman."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Oh...

"Oh..."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Well, the 69's late again today.

"Well, the 69's late again today."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Do you hear that, tim?

"Do you hear that, tim?"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

The house we're looking for.

"The house we're looking for."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

This, then, is the story of two desperate men

"This, then, is the story of two desperate men"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Hired by the good people at n.c.p. car parks

"Hired by the good people at n.c.p. car parks"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

To hunt down and destroy houses too dangerous to live.

"To hunt down and destroy houses too dangerous to live."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Well, what do you think?

"Well, what do you think?"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Oh, these are house droppings, all right.

"Oh, these are house droppings, all right."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Okay, let's go.

"Okay, let's go."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Pst, over here.

"Pst, over here."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

That's the one.

"That's the one."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Cover me.

"Cover me."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

I'm going to make a try for it.

"I'm going to make a try for it."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

And so, thanks once again to the unceasing efforts

"And so, thanks once again to the unceasing efforts"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Of the good people at n.c.p. car parks

"Of the good people at n.c.p. car parks"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

The world is made just a little bit safer.

"The world is made just a little bit safer."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

"sketch just starting, actor wanted."

""sketch just starting, actor wanted.""

Monty Python's Flying Circus

G-good morning.

"G-good morning."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Morning, sir.

"Morning, sir."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

I'd like to join the army, please.

"I'd like to join the army, please."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

I see.

"I see."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Short service or long service commission, sir?

"Short service or long service commission, sir?"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Uh, long as possible, please.

"Uh, long as possible, please."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Right, well, I'll just take a few particulars

"Right, well, I'll just take a few particulars"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

And then...

"And then..."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Shove off!

"Shove off!"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

And then there'll be a few forms to sign.

"And then there'll be a few forms to sign."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Of course we'll need some references

"Of course we'll need some references"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

And then a full medical examination by the...

"And then a full medical examination by the..."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Yes, I see.

"Yes, I see."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

I-i was just wondering

"I-i was just wondering"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Whether it would be possible

"Whether it would be possible"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

For me to... join...

"For me to... join..."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

The women's army.

"The women's army."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

The women's royal army corps, sir?

"The women's royal army corps, sir?"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Uh, yes, I was just thinking, you know

"Uh, yes, I was just thinking, you know"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

If it was possible for me to have my choice

"If it was possible for me to have my choice"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Well, I'm afraid that the people that recruit here

"Well, I'm afraid that the people that recruit here"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Normally go straight into the scots guards.

"Normally go straight into the scots guards."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Which is all men, I suppose.

"Which is all men, I suppose."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Yes, it is.

"Yes, it is."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Yes.

"Yes."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Are there any regiments

"Are there any regiments"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Which are more... effeminate than others?

"Which are more... effeminate than others?"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Well, no, sir.

"Well, no, sir."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

I mean, apart from the marines, they're all dead butch.

"I mean, apart from the marines, they're all dead butch."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

See, what I really wanted

"See, what I really wanted"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Was a regiment where I could be really quiet

"Was a regiment where I could be really quiet"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

And have more time to myself

"And have more time to myself"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

To work with fabrics

"To work with fabrics"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

And creating new concepts in interior design.

"And creating new concepts in interior design."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Working with fabrics

"Working with fabrics"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Yes.

"Yes."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Oh, well, you want the durham light infantry, then, sir.

"Oh, well, you want the durham light infantry, then, sir."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Oh.

"Oh."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

With interior design--

"With interior design--"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

With color, texture and line and that.

"With color, texture and line and that."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Oh, yes-- I mean

"Oh, yes-- I mean"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Savage tans...

"Savage tans..."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Great slabs of black, set against aggressive orange.

"Great slabs of black, set against aggressive orange."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

It really makes you want to shout out

"It really makes you want to shout out"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

"this is good! this is real!"

""this is good! this is real!""

Monty Python's Flying Circus

And the anglian regiment are all right

"And the anglian regiment are all right"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

In the art nouveau william morris revival bit

"In the art nouveau william morris revival bit"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

But if you really want a regimental line

"But if you really want a regimental line"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

That is really saying something about interior decor

"That is really saying something about interior decor"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Then you've got to go for the durham light infantry.

"Then you've got to go for the durham light infantry."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Oh, I've had enough of this.

"Oh, I've had enough of this."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

I'm handing in my notice.

"I'm handing in my notice."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

What do you mean?

"What do you mean?"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Well, I mean, when i applied for this job

"Well, I mean, when i applied for this job"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

I thought I'd get a few decent lines

"I thought I'd get a few decent lines"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

But you end up doing the whole thing.

"But you end up doing the whole thing."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

I mean, my last five speeches have been

"I mean, my last five speeches have been"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

"really", "really", "I see", "I see" and "really".

""really", "really", "I see", "I see" and "really"."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

I wouldn't give those lines to a dog.

"I wouldn't give those lines to a dog."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

All right, all right, all right, sonny.

"All right, all right, all right, sonny."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

I'll tell you what.

"I'll tell you what."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

We'll do something different.

"We'll do something different."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

I'll be a bus conductor, and you can be

"I'll be a bus conductor, and you can be"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

A really funny passenger on a bus.

"A really funny passenger on a bus."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Any more fares, please?

"Any more fares, please?"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

I've got a chauffeur

"I've got a chauffeur"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

And every time I go to the lavatory

"And every time I go to the lavatory"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

He drives me potty!

"He drives me potty!"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

I'm not unusual, I'm just...

"I'm not unusual, I'm just..."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Fivepenny, please.

"Fivepenny, please."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

And you are the lucky winner of...

"And you are the lucky winner of..."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

What's the welshman doing under the bed?

"What's the welshman doing under the bed?"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

He's having a leak!

"He's having a leak!"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Oh, they're all in here tonight.

"Oh, they're all in here tonight."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

I am looking.

"I am looking."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

It's the only way I can keep my eyelids apart.

"It's the only way I can keep my eyelids apart."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Boom-boom! every one a maserati.

"Boom-boom! every one a maserati."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

What do you mean?

"What do you mean?"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

I mean, all I said was, "fivepenny, please."

"I mean, all I said was, "fivepenny, please.""

Monty Python's Flying Circus

You can't call that a funny line.

"You can't call that a funny line."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Well, it's the way you said it.

"Well, it's the way you said it."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

No, it isn't.

"No, it isn't."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Nobody can say "fivepenny, please"

"Nobody can say "fivepenny, please""

Monty Python's Flying Circus

And make it funny.

"And make it funny."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Fivepenny, please.

"Fivepenny, please."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

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