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Clips from Friends - The One with the Secret Closet (S08E08)

"How's the pressure?"
Friends
"Stating the obvious, but thank you."
Friends
"-Oh, yeah! -Okay."
Friends
"Oh, God, Phoebe!"
Friends
"That's it! That's it, right there!"
Friends
"I wasn't trying to open your closet, I swear."
Friends
"I bet it's Richard."
Friends
"let me ask you something."
Friends
"When was the last time you saw him?"
Friends
"Off the top of my head.."
Friends
"maybe she's having her cake and eating it too."
Friends
"-That was off the top of your head? -Yeah."
Friends
"I saw a movie where there was a door. Nobody knew what was behind it."
Friends
"When they finally got it open, millions of bugs came pouring out.."
Friends
"and they feasted on human flesh!"
Friends
"It wouldn't kill you to respect your wife's privacy!"
Friends
"Stupid closet full of bugs!"
Friends
"Joey, something feels weird and not good weird. I don't.."
Friends
"When my sisters were pregnant.."
Friends
"But we'll stop by the hospital just to be sure. I'll page Ross."
Friends
"Rach, look at me. Everything's fine. Trust me. Take my hand. Here we go."
Friends
"Crushing bones!"
Friends
"Watch your feet. There's bugs everywhere."
Friends
"She had Braxton Hicks contractions. Mild discomfort in the uterine wall."
Friends
"Mild discomfort? I take it you've had one of these Braxton thingies?"
Friends
"-There's no danger? -No."
Friends
"Contractions can be unnerving, but she's fine."
Friends
"I wasn't calm! I've never been more scared in my life."
Friends
"-But everything is okay. I'm fine. -You sure?"
Friends
"Yes. I got half a mind to contract that doctor's uterus."
Friends
"Mild discomfort! What's he talking about?"
Friends
"Your page said, "Come to the hospital." What happened?"
Friends
"No uterus, no opinion."
Friends
"What's with the candy?"
Friends
"-I gotta go back in there. -What's wrong?"
Friends
"Look, I forgot my underwear."
Friends
"Thanks for bringing her to the hospital."
Friends
"Don't worry about it. No big deal."
Friends
"But still, it should have been me. I'm the dad."
Friends
"-Here's information on Braxton Hicks. -Thanks."
Friends
"You did the right thing by bringing her in."
Friends
"You'll make a wonderful father."
Friends
"Hey, not as good as this guy. He brought Twizzlers."
Friends
"-There has got to be a way. -Easy there, Captain Kirk."
Friends
"Oh, no, wait. I'm not a 9-year-old girl."
Friends
"-Maybe Monica has a bobby pin. -Oh, sure, "Monica.""
Friends
"So how's the inappropriate crush on Rachel coming?"
Friends
"Really good. I should be ready to kill myself any day now."
Friends
"I love living with her, and helping out with the baby is amazing."
Friends
"When I took Rachel to the hospital, the doctor thought I was the father."
Friends
"You should have seen the look on Ross' face."
Friends
"-You try opening it with a credit card? -That's a good idea."
Friends
"What are you gonna do, not take her? You're doing nothing wrong."
Friends
"Except for harboring love for the woman carrying his baby."
Friends
"No, I got that."
Friends
"You should know though, I've raised my rates to $200 an hour."
Friends
"-Okay. -I mean 500."
Friends
"It freaked me out. After a while, I tried to hurt you. It spurred you on."
Friends
"You're crazy. There's nothing sexual about the noises I make."
Friends
"There's nothing sexual about this?"
Friends
"What are you looking at?"
Friends
"I mean, hi."
Friends
"Oh, that's why Alexandra wears earplugs when she gives me a massage."
Friends
"It's not because she hates Enya."
Friends
"-Really? -Well, not clients. Lovers."
Friends
"We'll try it again. Come back, and we'll work through it."
Friends
"-You sure? -Yes."
Friends
"You know, if you stick one hand down your pants, you're the spitting image of Joey."
Friends
"Oh, that's so sweet of you. Oh, yum."
Friends
"What? What? Rach, what?"
Friends
"-What's going on? -I made her tuna with pickle."
Friends
"Giving her pickle is like giving me salad."
Friends
"I'm sorry, I didn't know. You okay?"
Friends
"I'm fine, but someone make sure it's gone when I get out?"
Friends
"I shouldn't be the one making her throw up."
Friends
"-It could happen to anyone. -Not to you. You know this stuff."
Friends
"I don't know any of it and I'm the father."
Friends
"I wish I could be more involved, you know?"
Friends
"Well, if anyone is keeping score, I no longer eat tuna."
Friends
"Can I talk to you guys for a second?"
Friends
"Are you breaking up with us?"
Friends
"The thing is.."
Friends
"because I live with Rachel, I'm here for a lot of stuff."
Friends
"Yeah?"
Friends
"You two should live together."
Friends
"Are you asking me to move? You don't want me here?"
Friends
"No, I love living with you. It just seems that.."
Friends
"Or he does."
Friends
"I would love to be around for you and the baby."
Friends
"-But it's you and me. -It wouldn't be anything romantic."
Friends
"I'm dating Mona. Damn it, Mona!"
Friends
"I was supposed to meet her an hour ago. What is wrong with me?"
Friends
"So, what do you think?"
Friends
"-I don't know. Is it crazy? -No."
Friends
"Joey, this is a smart idea."
Friends
"Rach, that's great. That's great."
Friends
"And you know what? Don't worry about any of the moving."
Friends
"I'll take care of everything. In fact, I'll start right now."
Friends
"Unbelievable."
Friends
"Not too shabby. I got this all off myself.."
Friends
"Oh, my God."
Friends
"You're messy."
Friends
"Chandler, you don't understand."
Friends
"You know, how I organize everything, right?"
Friends
"Okay, well this is all of the stuff that doesn't fit into any category."
Friends
"I'm just so organized that.."
Friends
"No, honey, you're not sick. I don't love you because you're organized."
Friends
"I love you in spite of that."
Friends
"-Promise you won't tell anyone? -Yes."
Friends
"Now that I know, if I've got extra stuff, can we share the closet?"
Friends
"Well.. It's just.."
Friends
"I wanted to have a few beers.."
Friends
"but I got rid of those because Rachel couldn't stand the smell."
Friends
"I have thrown back a lot of orange juice with calcium."
Friends
"I can walk around naked again."
Friends
"I can watch porn in the living room."
Friends
"This is good for me."
Friends
"I like being on my own. I'm better off this way."
Friends
"A loner. Alone."
Friends
"That's it, just relax."
Friends
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