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Clips from Archer (2009) - Animation (S04E04)

"...and the four minutes of free time I have today, I'm talking to you cockwits."
Archer (2009)
"...has been infiltrated-- Sorry."
Archer (2009)
"...and for some inexplicable reason, they have to do that undercover, so..."
Archer (2009)
"- Cyril-- I mean Chet? - Archer?"
Archer (2009)
"Arch-- Randy."
Archer (2009)
"- Wait, are you guys? No, we--"
Archer (2009)
"- Like a closed-circuit deal or...? - No."
Archer (2009)
"Why is there yogurt fricking soup all over my spotless fricking kitchen?"
Archer (2009)
"Randy did it. Whoa, whoa. First of all, no, I didn't..."
Archer (2009)
"Seize, please hold. Seize, please hold. Seize, please hold."
Archer (2009)
"Besides your job? My job is--"
Archer (2009)
"Seize. I'm sorry, we have nothing available for the next 10 months."
Archer (2009)
"Okay, bye."
Archer (2009)
"Why?"
Archer (2009)
"You say that like you believe it."
Archer (2009)
"Jesus, what's the big deal?"
Archer (2009)
"Cyril, come on, it's my nature. See? Uh, yeah, kind of."
Archer (2009)
"Hang on, there's a bumper. Now prep, you ******* maggots."
Archer (2009)
"I value all cultures equally highly."
Archer (2009)
"Uh, should you be smoking in here?"
Archer (2009)
"Yeah. "Child murderer" shouldn't be hyphenated."
Archer (2009)
"That makes it seem like he's a murderer who's also a child."
Archer (2009)
"...are you maggots not prepping? I-- Wait, are you doing a bumper?"
Archer (2009)
"L-- She said "credible threat." I know, but what kind of credible--"
Archer (2009)
"Well, for one thing, I'm pretty drunk."
Archer (2009)
"Here. What dish are they going in?"
Archer (2009)
"Oh, eat a dick. That's "Eat a dick, chef.""
Archer (2009)
"It's no secret agent, but it's way above architect."
Archer (2009)
"...I'd love to go over the-- Menu, I know, let's--"
Archer (2009)
"What is this, Spain?"
Archer (2009)
"And I need you to focus..."
Archer (2009)
"It's impossible."
Archer (2009)
"Please don't make me, and B..."
Archer (2009)
"Jermaine! Jermaine! Jermaine!"
Archer (2009)
"...you wouldn't wanna owe 14 cents."
Archer (2009)
"Could you pretend to try? Yes."
Archer (2009)
"Absolutely not."
Archer (2009)
"I'm not cutting out their eyeballs. Not with that. Use a melon baller."
Archer (2009)
"You want one? No, I don't want a damn melon ball."
Archer (2009)
"Well, I didn't get you into this, mister. You got yourself into this."
Archer (2009)
"Mm. So just so I'm clear..."
Archer (2009)
"...you want me to use this top-secret 934-TX telephonic isolator unit..."
Archer (2009)
"...associated with this physical address."
Archer (2009)
"Yes. What? No!"
Archer (2009)
"...you're gonna find me in a dumpster somewhere out in Red Hook."
Archer (2009)
"If you're ever in Red Hook snooping around in random dumpsters."
Archer (2009)
"Okay. But I am not spitting in your face."
Archer (2009)
"Take it or leave it, dude."
Archer (2009)
"And how did you get this number?"
Archer (2009)
"Yes, absolutely. Eight o'clock, table for four. Thank you."
Archer (2009)
"Thank you."
Archer (2009)
"And yet I will die alone."
Archer (2009)
"Tonight has to go perfectly because it is wall to wall VIP's out there."
Archer (2009)
"Hoo-hoo. Teddy. Such a scamp."
Archer (2009)
"Well, people in hell want ice water. Ray. What is your problem?"
Archer (2009)
"Besides not knowing if I should add an 18-percent gratuity?"
Archer (2009)
"Not to mention U.S.-Albanian relations."
Archer (2009)
"Protect him from what?"
Archer (2009)
"The only threat around here is-- Dying of thirst, apparently."
Archer (2009)
"...and when I finally do, instead of Casteau's world-famous risotto..."
Archer (2009)
"...I have to eat sheep face. Wait a minute."
Archer (2009)
"...and got ISIS hired to do security."
Archer (2009)
"That'll do wonders for U.S.-Albanian relations."
Archer (2009)
"Hi, yeah, are you done shouting at my guests in barely-passable French?"
Archer (2009)
"Then why don't you go help Mincent Price with the--"
Archer (2009)
"Because, Randy, except, of course, for your mother, there is no threat."
Archer (2009)
"Tell that to my tavé kosi..."
Archer (2009)
"...because I have no soup!"
Archer (2009)
"...between his great nation and ours."
Archer (2009)
"Just wait until you try my tavé kosi. Oh! Tavé kosi is my most favorite."
Archer (2009)
"Well, finally."
Archer (2009)
"Wait. No, the threat was a hoax. A what?"
Archer (2009)
"Lana! Oh, my God."
Archer (2009)
"To poison. What?"
Archer (2009)
"You sure? Pam!"
Archer (2009)
"Okay, let's get Casteau before he-- He's gone."
Archer (2009)
"Malory, a man has just been murdered."
Archer (2009)
"But if it wasn't the food-- How the hell did he get poisoned?"
Archer (2009)
"Well, you say that."
Archer (2009)
"Oh. I'm doing a special seating for diplomats"
Archer (2009)
"So not only do I have to create a meal out of yogurt and a goddamn sheep's head..."
Archer (2009)
"...so my highly-trained staff..."
Archer (2009)
"Just need to grab some menus for the-- Camera? Why is there a camera?"
Archer (2009)
"Two-point-eight. Because it's not promoted properly."
Archer (2009)
"Yeah, the show's called Bastard Chef."
Archer (2009)
"Hm. Excuse me. Thank you, giraffe lady."
Archer (2009)
"Let's go, Chet, chop-chop."
Archer (2009)
"You're the one who dropped it. Why do I have to clean it up?"
Archer (2009)
"You're the garcon de cuisine, which means kitchen boy..."
Archer (2009)
"...whereas I am sous chef, which means shut your face and mop up the damn yogurt."
Archer (2009)
"Why do you get to be sous chef? I have fine-dining experience."
Archer (2009)
"I used to own a restaurant. It was a burger joint."
Archer (2009)
"She means Randy. Can I borrow you?"
Archer (2009)
"Yeah, I got time for a quickie. Wait, a what?"
Archer (2009)
"Whoa. Whoa, unh!"
Archer (2009)
"- You guys can edit that out, right? - Yes. But we won't."
Archer (2009)
"Do you think it's a good idea..."
Archer (2009)
"...talking to a TV crew when we're undercover?"
Archer (2009)
"...in the restaurant tonight."
Archer (2009)
"Because come to think of it, I actually don't know how TV works either."
Archer (2009)
"How about geopolitics? Uh..."
Archer (2009)
"Because if anything goes wrong tonight..."
Archer (2009)
"What the shit? Speaking of unstable, that guy is a powder keg."
Archer (2009)
"Look, they're, like, totally slipper--"
Archer (2009)
"Answering the damn phone."
Archer (2009)
"would let me, I'd have a monkey do it."
Archer (2009)
"Why? No, I was being facetious."
Archer (2009)
"Why bother answering the phone? To tell people they can't eat here."
Archer (2009)
"I'm sorry? The real number's a secret..."
Archer (2009)
"...I'm answering phone calls from people who aren't good enough to eat here."
Archer (2009)
"Yeah, so try to sound apologetic, but not, you know, overly so."
Archer (2009)
"- Keep trying. - Ugh!"
Archer (2009)
"There was a threat of some sort, it's all rather vague..."
Archer (2009)
"...but when those State Department dweebs see just how good ISIS really is..."
Archer (2009)
"...mark my words, one day soon, we'll be a major player."
Archer (2009)
"Hey. Get me a table, or the fish gets it."
Archer (2009)
"That's my fish. His name's Jermaine."
Archer (2009)
"Oh! I thought he was just your food."
Archer (2009)
"Food? We're not making food, people. We're creating cuisine."
Archer (2009)
"Was that ambiguous? Why are you antagonizing him?"
Archer (2009)
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