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Clips from Seinfeld - The Opera (S04E04)

TV Series 1989–1998 Season 4, Episode 9 22 min ★ 8.8/10 (390,457 ratings) 409 clips
Comedy
To me, a wedding is the joining together of a beautiful, glowing bride...
"To me, a wedding is the joining together of a beautiful, glowing bride..."
Seinfeld
So in case the groom chickens out...
"So in case the groom chickens out..."
Seinfeld
...everybody takes one step over, and she marries the next guy.
"...everybody takes one step over, and she marries the next guy."
Seinfeld
Put the kibosh on my deal.
"Put the kibosh on my deal."
Seinfeld
You don't understand. That's the way they talk in Italy.
"You don't understand. That's the way they talk in Italy."
Seinfeld
That's the way they was. You listen to the language.
"That's the way they was. You listen to the language."
Seinfeld
It's got that sing-songy quality to it.
"It's got that sing-songy quality to it."
Seinfeld
Come on. It's opening night. Black-tie, Pagliacci. The great clown.
"Come on. It's opening night. Black-tie, Pagliacci. The great clown."
Seinfeld
The great, sad, tragic clown, like you.
"The great, sad, tragic clown, like you."
Seinfeld
Well, that's very flattering.
"Well, that's very flattering."
Seinfeld
Well, I have many associates.
"Well, I have many associates."
Seinfeld
I guess if I'm the magliana, I should go.
"I guess if I'm the magliana, I should go."
Seinfeld
- It's killing you, isn't it? - Yeah.
"- It's killing you, isn't it? - Yeah."
Seinfeld
It's nice to be involved with somebody...
"It's nice to be involved with somebody..."
Seinfeld
You know, he's got a grip on reality.
"You know, he's got a grip on reality."
Seinfeld
- I'm just gonna pop in. - Good, men love that.
"- I'm just gonna pop in. - Good, men love that."
Seinfeld
You got a message, buddy.
"You got a message, buddy."
Seinfeld
Jerry? Joe Dav ola.
"Jerry? Joe Dav ola."
Seinfeld
Why?! They're not gonna do anything!
"Why?! They're not gonna do anything!"
Seinfeld
Oh, I got the machine.
"Oh, I got the machine."
Seinfeld
Hello, Joe. Listen, this is Jerry Seinfeld.
"Hello, Joe. Listen, this is Jerry Seinfeld."
Seinfeld
Big. Big.
"Big. Big."
Seinfeld
Joey?
"Joey?"
Seinfeld
I know. I like to encourage intruders.
"I know. I like to encourage intruders."
Seinfeld
Shopping.
"Shopping."
Seinfeld
Not right now.
"Not right now."
Seinfeld
I'm a day person.
"I'm a day person."
Seinfeld
Oh, damn it. I just remembered I gotta go.
"Oh, damn it. I just remembered I gotta go."
Seinfeld
But if it's good to be a clown, then I would have to rethink the whole thing.
"But if it's good to be a clown, then I would have to rethink the whole thing."
Seinfeld
Who is he? I want you to tell me who he is.
"Who is he? I want you to tell me who he is."
Seinfeld
See? Now that's terrible. That is- That's not a nice thing to do at all.
"See? Now that's terrible. That is- That's not a nice thing to do at all."
Seinfeld
I would assume- I don't know how this Pagliacci thing turns out.
"I would assume- I don't know how this Pagliacci thing turns out."
Seinfeld
I don't understand. That's not right.
"I don't understand. That's not right."
Seinfeld
All right. Thanks anyway. Okay, bye.
"All right. Thanks anyway. Okay, bye."
Seinfeld
You know the last time I wore this thing?
"You know the last time I wore this thing?"
Seinfeld
When I made that toast at Bobby Leighton's wedding.
"When I made that toast at Bobby Leighton's wedding."
Seinfeld
Oh, that was a bad toast.
"Oh, that was a bad toast."
Seinfeld
All the relatives. You were like a Redd Foxx record.
"All the relatives. You were like a Redd Foxx record."
Seinfeld
He could've asked me to leave. He had me in a headlock.
"He could've asked me to leave. He had me in a headlock."
Seinfeld
It's nice to get a reach.
"It's nice to get a reach."
Seinfeld
Why are you locking the door now?
"Why are you locking the door now?"
Seinfeld
What the-?
"What the-?"
Seinfeld
I can't change. I got no clothes here.
"I can't change. I got no clothes here."
Seinfeld
That's not the issue. We're friends.
"That's not the issue. We're friends."
Seinfeld
...I gotta sit next to Ozzie Nelson over here.
"...I gotta sit next to Ozzie Nelson over here."
Seinfeld
Are you kidding? Opening night, Pavarotti in Pagliacci?
"Are you kidding? Opening night, Pavarotti in Pagliacci?"
Seinfeld
Cherry Binaca. It's new.
"Cherry Binaca. It's new."
Seinfeld
You should hear the message from my nut.
"You should hear the message from my nut."
Seinfeld
- No, it's not. It's mine. - I was just flipping it. That's mine.
"- No, it's not. It's mine. - I was just flipping it. That's mine."
Seinfeld
- Hey, clown. - Clown.
"- Hey, clown. - Clown."
Seinfeld
- Nice face, clown. - Make me laugh, clown.
"- Nice face, clown. - Make me laugh, clown."
Seinfeld
- All right. - Hey, hey, you selling?
"- All right. - Hey, hey, you selling?"
Seinfeld
You think you died and went to heaven.
"You think you died and went to heaven."
Seinfeld
What do you want for them?
"What do you want for them?"
Seinfeld
A thousand dollars for the deuce.
"A thousand dollars for the deuce."
Seinfeld
You're blowing it. The guy's a pigeon.
"You're blowing it. The guy's a pigeon."
Seinfeld
Where are they already?
"Where are they already?"
Seinfeld
Me too.
"Me too."
Seinfeld
How do you know his name?
"How do you know his name?"
Seinfeld
- Are you kidding me? - You're dating the madman...
"- Are you kidding me? - You're dating the madman..."
Seinfeld
Excuse me.
"Excuse me."
Seinfeld
Harold, don't. Harold, be careful of your hair transplant!
"Harold, don't. Harold, be careful of your hair transplant!"
Seinfeld
You people make me sick.
"You people make me sick."
Seinfeld
The hardest part about being a clown...
"The hardest part about being a clown..."
Seinfeld
Who is that clown? I'm not working with that clown.
"Who is that clown? I'm not working with that clown."
Seinfeld
Did you hire that clown?
"Did you hire that clown?"
Seinfeld
The guy's a clown.
"The guy's a clown."
Seinfeld
How do you even start into being a clown?
"How do you even start into being a clown?"
Seinfeld
...it's actually easier to become a clown...
"...it's actually easier to become a clown..."
Seinfeld
I mean, you're in the back seat of this guy's Volkswagen-
"I mean, you're in the back seat of this guy's Volkswagen-"
Seinfeld
No. I'm a clown.
"No. I'm a clown."
Seinfeld
Was kind of scared of the clowns.
"Was kind of scared of the clowns."
Seinfeld
And, oh, what heights we'l hit On with the show, this is it
"And, oh, what heights we'l hit On with the show, this is it"
Seinfeld
All your knowledge of high culture comes from Bugs Bunny cartoons.
"All your knowledge of high culture comes from Bugs Bunny cartoons."
Seinfeld
Oh, there's that clown again. What does he want from me?
"Oh, there's that clown again. What does he want from me?"
Seinfeld
- It's Binaca. - Binaca?
"- It's Binaca. - Binaca?"
Seinfeld
- Two-fifty? Are you sure? - Yeah, yeah, I'm sure.
"- Two-fifty? Are you sure? - Yeah, yeah, I'm sure."
Seinfeld
What are you doing here? You were going to the airport.
"What are you doing here? You were going to the airport."
Seinfeld
So what? They don't have another plane? She couldn't take a bus?
"So what? They don't have another plane? She couldn't take a bus?"
Seinfeld
She's coming in tomorrow. But I made it.
"She's coming in tomorrow. But I made it."
Seinfeld
We get to go to the opera- Get out of here- Together.
"We get to go to the opera- Get out of here- Together."
Seinfeld
Oh, that's rich.
"Oh, that's rich."
Seinfeld
- We're with him. - Are you guys ready?
"- We're with him. - Are you guys ready?"
Seinfeld
Eva Marton. I've heard of her.
"Eva Marton. I've heard of her."
Seinfeld
Some nut in a clown suit.
"Some nut in a clown suit."
Seinfeld
I had some friends drag me to an opera recently.
"I had some friends drag me to an opera recently."
Seinfeld
They've all got those little opera glasses.
"They've all got those little opera glasses."
Seinfeld
They're wearing big white woolly vests.
"They're wearing big white woolly vests."
Seinfeld
Think about optometry. Maybe that's more your thing.
"Think about optometry. Maybe that's more your thing."
Seinfeld
The tuxedo is a woman's view that men are all the same.
"The tuxedo is a woman's view that men are all the same."
Seinfeld
We might as well dress them that way.
"We might as well dress them that way."
Seinfeld
The tuxedo is a wedding safety device, created by women...
"The tuxedo is a wedding safety device, created by women..."
Seinfeld
...because they know that men are undependable.
"...because they know that men are undependable."
Seinfeld
Leave a message. I'l cal you back. Thanks.
"Leave a message. I'l cal you back. Thanks."
Seinfeld
Jerry? Joe Davola.
"Jerry? Joe Davola."
Seinfeld
Can't get it off.
"Can't get it off."
Seinfeld
You know how much I hate that?
"You know how much I hate that?"
Seinfeld
Of course you do. You put it there.
"Of course you do. You put it there."
Seinfeld
I know what you said about me, Seinfeld.
"I know what you said about me, Seinfeld."
Seinfeld
I know you bad-mouthed me to the execs at NBC.
"I know you bad-mouthed me to the execs at NBC."
Seinfeld
You know I've kiboshed before.
"You know I've kiboshed before."
Seinfeld
- So, what do you think? - About what?
"- So, what do you think? - About what?"
Seinfeld
- About the opera. - I don't wanna go.
"- About the opera. - I don't wanna go."
Seinfeld
What are they singing for? Who sings?
"What are they singing for? Who sings?"
Seinfeld
You got something to say, say it.
"You got something to say, say it."
Seinfeld
They sing to one another.
"They sing to one another."
Seinfeld
All right. All right.
"All right. All right."
Seinfeld
It's the language, Jerry. The language.
"It's the language, Jerry. The language."
Seinfeld
- So why don't they talk like that now? - It's too hard to keep up.
"- So why don't they talk like that now? - It's too hard to keep up."
Seinfeld
You know, they got- They were tired.
"You know, they got- They were tired."
Seinfeld
- Better get that. - Yeah.
"- Better get that. - Yeah."
Seinfeld
- So? - I don't know.
"- So? - I don't know."
Seinfeld
How'd you get tickets? They're impossible to get.
"How'd you get tickets? They're impossible to get."
Seinfeld
I don't know. Opera, it's not my kind of thing.
"I don't know. Opera, it's not my kind of thing."
Seinfeld
Then I'm gonna call the whole thing off.
"Then I'm gonna call the whole thing off."
Seinfeld
Wait a minute. What about George, Susan and Elaine?
"Wait a minute. What about George, Susan and Elaine?"
Seinfeld
- Why do you need me? - You're the nucleus...
"- Why do you need me? - You're the nucleus..."
Seinfeld
...the straw that stirs the drink. You're the magliana.
"...the straw that stirs the drink. You're the magliana."
Seinfeld
- Hi. - Hey.
"- Hi. - Hey."
Seinfeld
You got the tickets, right?
"You got the tickets, right?"
Seinfeld