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Clips from Archer - Deadly Velvet: Part 1 (S07E07)

"You shut up!"
Archer
"Shut your mouth, or I swear to Christ in His heaven"
Archer
"I will personally frame you for this murder!"
Archer
"Hey, bub, remember?"
Archer
"Please disregard my previous statement."
Archer
"Merely an ill-advised attempt at levity."
Archer
"Okay. And in light of your various professional,"
Archer
"at the present time, you are all persons of interest."
Archer
"Hey, hey, hey, hey. Calm down."
Archer
"He didn't say "suspects". Yet."
Archer
"Or suspects."
Archer
"We are gonna have to ask you"
Archer
"But that's ridiculous."
Archer
"It wasn't any of us. He hired us for protection."
Archer
"We think Crane was caught up"
Archer
"in some sort of insurance fraud,"
Archer
"all the way from here to Liberia."
Archer
"Okay, okay. And we're gonna be looking into all that,"
Archer
"Yeah, because they'll be easy to check."
Archer
"We've got an exact time of death."
Archer
"Try one second, gnome-nuts."
Archer
"The victim had a defensive wound."
Archer
"Exact time of death, 2:14 p.m."
Archer
"No, I just mean..."
Archer
"Well, you know, the ex-wife, a bitter divorce."
Archer
"I was with you, Archer."
Archer
"Remember?"
Archer
"Until almost the stroke of 3:00."
Archer
"It's a joke. Lighten up, Fritz Lang."
Archer
"And what makes you suspect sabotage?"
Archer
"on the picture as a technical advisor."
Archer
"which were pretty suspicious."
Archer
"But why come to us? Why not the police?"
Archer
"Malory! Ellis wants to hire the agency"
Archer
"All right, listen up."
Archer
"Holy shit, did she just eat a grape?"
Archer
"Must be her cheat day."
Archer
"with my colleagues, Smith & Wesson."
Archer
"Goddamn it."
Archer
"No, you didn't."
Archer
"Other than my ex-husband's refusal to let me get on with my life,"
Archer
"You were saying?"
Archer
"Oh, we're just hemorrhaging money."
Archer
"Shh-shh-shh-shh..."
Archer
"linkage jam."
Archer
"would you say women, on the whole,"
Archer
"Sorry. What?"
Archer
"It felt like I got kicked in the chest by a mule."
Archer
"I mean, not that I think it'll come to that."
Archer
"Which I think is the whole point here."
Archer
"Not that kind of crane. Ellis Crane."
Archer
"Gripping?"
Archer
"Why would I be asking rhetorical questions?"
Archer
"What is wrong with you?"
Archer
"Holy shit-snacks."
Archer
"And even if he were, he wouldn't want a blob like you."
Archer
"I mean, when was the last time you even saw your penis?"
Archer
"Well, then, shit. Where to begin? Umm..."
Archer
"Really? That late?"
Archer
"and I'm late for a wardrobe fitting, so..."
Archer
"And I'll be here, slowly drying."
Archer
"He's riddled with clap!"
Archer
"you walk in a room and you forget why?"
Archer
"About the thing?"
Archer
"or, in some cases, personal relationships with the victim,"
Archer
"not to leave town without checking with us."
Archer
"I'm sure I would've been the prime suspect."
Archer
"has recently begun working"
Archer
"Maybe he wanted to be interrupted every five seconds."
Archer
"He and I are on a first-name basis,"
Archer
"Put your faith in us."
Archer
"Goddamn it."
Archer
"Goddamn it!"
Archer
"- Second of all, this. - No, no, no, no, no."
Archer
"Are you kid..."
Archer
"- A forklift. - And a forkwad."
Archer
"I have been since the first time I laid eyes on her."
Archer
"the investors on this movie"
Archer
"I think he's behind this company"
Archer
"It's not enough to prove anything."
Archer
"Hey, you know what?"
Archer
"Right? We've got champagne."
Archer
"before you start cramming your trash dick..."
Archer
"Fashioned out of a baby-doll nightie."
Archer
"- but in the meantime... - We've all got alibis."
Archer
"Shotgun!"
Archer
"an obnoxiously good mood?"
Archer
"Well, you'd better, missy."
Archer
"What the hell, man? I needed that."
Archer
"Apparently Ellis hired him to protect you during the shoot."
Archer
"Oh, I can't believe this."
Archer
"Which hole?"
Archer
"But what makes you think it's Crane?"
Archer
"Oh, they did, did they?"
Archer
"Sorry about the, uh..."
Archer
"Well, it's not cobwebby anymore."
Archer
"with a stuntman's airbag."
Archer
"So, Archer..."
Archer
"Well? Anything suspicious so far?"
Archer
"Shit's catching on fire."
Archer
"Thought I had a joke, but..."
Archer
"Well, technically, they both work for me, so..."
Archer
"found him attractive?"
Archer
"And there is a bit of a clock on this, so..."
Archer
"Mm, mwah. Back soon."
Archer
"Archer is my bodyguard,"
Archer
"until... well, I lost the trail in Liberia."
Archer
"Um, and then another time,"
Archer
"Because you, prolapsed rectum that you are,"
Archer
"- Pff. - I'll take that as a "barely.""
Archer
"if I'm helping Lana's new pretend boyfriend make a movie."
Archer
"- And mine. - Oh, now..."
Archer
"- No. - Then, yeah, I'd love that."
Archer
"Well, my goodness, what a relief."
Archer
"Yeah, how you holdin' up?"
Archer
"And also a."
Archer
"- I'm... - Aww, Li'l Baby Elton..."
Archer
"Oh, you're asking me. Sorry."
Archer
"I thought I might have a chance."
Archer
"So there is."
Archer
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