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Clips from Brooklyn Nine-Nine (2013) - Casecation (S06E06)

"- It was the coldest night of the year,"
Brooklyn Nine-Nine (2013)
"and for not taking credit."
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"That's double credit, you fool."
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"- You two are just the cutest."
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"- I'm Pam. I'm from next door."
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"I was listening to the two of you talk"
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"and just had to get a look."
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"- Aren't they? - Boyle, go home!"
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"- Oh, Pam can stay but not me?"
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"I'm assuming, because of your gown."
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"- I am. I have a twisted bowel."
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"- Oh, no, no, no. But thank you, Pam."
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"- Let me know if you smell anything."
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"I don't even notice it anymore."
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"- Well, I'm pretty sure"
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"- No, you'll know. - Oh."
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"Mixed race babies are always so adorable."
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"- Oh, you said words."
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"- Yeah, we don't have kids yet,"
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"but we're gonna start trying soon."
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"- Pam, there you are. It's time for your IV."
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"You're playing music in here? You can't do that."
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"- Why not, Nurse Janet?"
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"- Yes, that's exactly what it'll do."
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"Hey, by the way,"
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"we don't have to pretend we're undercover here."
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"- Oh, I wasn't setting up cover."
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"Was I? - Well, just the kids thing."
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"- Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean right away."
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"- Oh. Okay."
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"except for that there's one little problem there,"
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"which is that I don't know that I totally know"
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"so..."
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"- Oh."
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"- I don't understand. I thought we were"
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"on the same page about kids."
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"We talked about this. - We did?"
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"- Mm. - We should do this someday."
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"What do you think?"
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"- Are you kidding me? Of course."
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"I was talking about going to the water park."
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"You were talking about having kids?"
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"- Yeah! I said, "Do you think we can afford it?""
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"And you said, "We'll start saving right away.""
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"- So let me get this straight."
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"All that water park money I've been saving,"
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"you want to spend it on kids now?"
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"- Yeah. Why would you want to spend that much money"
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"on a water park?"
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"- Look, I'm sorry. I don't know what to say here."
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"- Well, I always have."
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"- All right, so how do we handle this?"
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"- I mean, there's only one thing to do when two people"
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"have diametrically opposing views on a subject."
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"- Talk about it lovingly and decide how to move forward?"
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"- Structured debate. - Oh. Fun."
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"Let's take one hour apart for research and prep. Yeah."
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"- Great, I'll just do a Lincoln-Douglas."
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"- Pam, you're in here again."
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"- I'm gonna eat you alive, you dumb son of a bitch."
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"- Cool. And then we'll have kids together?"
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"- Yeah. It's gonna be great."
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"Okay, the topic today"
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"is whether or not we should have children."
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"Each round will be individually scored"
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"- Do you need to hear my credentials?"
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"- I believe you. - Y as in Yankee, 4-1."
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"- Ding. - Okay."
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"Peralta, you can present the first argument"
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"from your, uh..."
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"Scribbled list of feelings."
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"According to a study I read, people with kids"
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"than people without kids."
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"Now, call me crazy, but being happy tends to make me feel,"
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"uh, pretty happy."
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"- Where did you read this study?"
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"- Well, it wasn't something I read"
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"- And who told you about it?"
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"- Hitchcock. - Hitchcock?"
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"- Yeah. - That seems like"
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"a pretty intellectual thing for him to mention."
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"What was the context?"
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"- He had invested in a NuvaRing competitor called Vag-a-Plug"
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"and was practicing his sales pitch on me."
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"- All right, fine. Forget the study."
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"I just don't want to lose what we already have."
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"children bring meaning and love into your life."
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"Yes, there may be some moments that you lose,"
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"but there will also be new moments."
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"Take the water park."
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"- That's not your call to make, Peralta."
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"Point to Amy."
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"- Okay, fine. New subject: work."
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"We both work way too much."
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"if you never get to spend time with them?"
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"I mean, I love my job, and I know you love yours,"
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"and I don't think it's fair for either of us"
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"to have to sacrifice that."
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"- Do you know why I want to become lieutenant so badly?"
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"- To prove your worth to your hyper judgmental parents."
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"- Yes, obviously that."
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"But also, the higher your rank,"
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"the more control over your hours."
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"Plenty of people have jobs and kids, Jake,"
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"and they find a way."
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"- This has become more about your employment status."
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"and should abstain from judging."
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"- Okay, so do we both get a point?"
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"- No. Kevin has been on the phone all this time."
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"He's also a licensed debate moderator."
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"- This means nothing to me. - H as in hotel."
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"Z as in Zulu. - Oh, thank God he stopped."
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"- 3-6-9."
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"You want to know why I really don't want to have children?"
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"I had a crappy dad."
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"I know what happens when you mess up as a parent."
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"It's not great."
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"And this may come as a shock to you, but..."
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"I kind of have some dad issues with certain people."
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"- Holt. - Me."
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