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Clips from The Big Bang Theory - The Maternal Capacitance (S02E02)

"You know what my mother would say? She'd say..."
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"...because you were not loved by your father and I was not loved by my mother..."
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"...that having sex is our way of making up for intimacy we didn't get as children."
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"I don't know. Foreplay?"
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"So you're saying you're not having sex with me..."
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"Um, I'm gonna go with no."
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"Uh, come on, you're trying to have sex with your father, and I'm okay with that."
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"She said shush. I should have shushed."
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"All right, Mother."
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"Oh, uh, yes."
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"- I was just coming over to talk to you-- - You don't have to."
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"Ever."
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"Gotcha."
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"- Goodbye, Mother. - Goodbye, Leonard."
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"But she didn't. Not one word."
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"Interesting. Would you be willing to fly to New Jersey..."
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"...and discuss your relationship with your parents during a brain scan?"
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"Why?"
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"...his father and I only had intercourse for the purposes of reproduction."
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"That seems a fairly efficient arrangement."
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"Yes, we think so. We've both done papers on it."
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"Here's your tea, Mother."
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"All right. Uh, what's new with you?"
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"I'm betting she never hit you with a Bible because you wouldn't eat Brussels sprouts."
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"Nope, I think mocking you is more fun."
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"It might explain why the two of you have created an ersatz homosexual marriage..."
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"You know what I used to do when I was little to have sensation of human contact?"
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"- A hugging machine? - Yeah."
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"Except when they get a tumor. Then you never hear the end of it."
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"I'm very tempted."
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"This is actually gonna happen."
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"...you're having sex with your mother?"
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"That is the sickest thing I have ever heard."
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"- Oh, good morning. - Morning."
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"...and I built two radio-controlled arms that would hug me and pat my back."
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"I've been living with your son too long. Gotten into some bad habits."
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"- Would it help? - Well, it would help me."
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"- Oh. - Heh-heh-heh."
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"It's unpleasant and needs to be repeated."
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"...based on the number of mailboxes and given typical urban population density..."
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"...and I'm seriously considering alcoholism as a new career path."
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"How about that? You were right."
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"- Mom still here? - Yep."
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"No, I didn't realize it had been so long."
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"You're appealing to the neuroscientific researcher in me."
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"Oh, that is so sad."
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"So, Dr. Hofstadter..."
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"Leonard's younger brother, Michael, is a tenured law professor at Harvard..."
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"And then, I'm assuming, you entered adolescence."
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"So no original research?"
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"...which is often the result of unmet childhood emotional needs."
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"Jeez, what a fun couple."
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"- It's gonna be uncomfortable. - Yes, yes."
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"So, slugger, shall we pick up where we left off last time?"
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"I think you'll find my work pretty interesting."
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"I envy you your childhood."
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"It's totally understandable. In bladder voiding, as in real estate..."
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"Oh, relax. She took Sheldon to the hospital to get a brain scan."
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"- I didn't bring it up. You did. - We'll talk about this later."
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"...you're gonna lick the salt..."
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"Get out!"
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