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Clips from The Brady Bunch - Dear Libby (S01E01)

"Thanks, honey."
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"Well, of all the... What?"
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"Well, this page has a big black ink spot on it."
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"It doesn't seem to be a very good night"
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"for page five, section "B.""
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"The printing press must've gone haywire."
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"That's the trouble with machines..."
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"You can't depend on them."
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"You ask me, they're on their way out."
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"What? Machines."
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"Yeah, none of them seem to work right anymore."
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"I heard about this one newspaper"
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"that printed a million copies of page nine"
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"right on top of page eight,"
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"and left page nine blank."
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"I heard about that, too."
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"Really? What paper was that?"
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"Boston Times. Chicago Post."
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"Boston Times. Chicago Post."
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"Is my riot readable?"
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"Mm-hmm."
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"The wedding's here."
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"There's something else missing,"
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"but I can't think what it is."
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"I take back what I said about your generation gap."
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"Oh, Peter, you be the lookout."
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"Okay."
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"Shh! What's going on?"
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"What am I looking out for?"
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"Our parents, dummy."
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"You want some advice?"
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"When you grow up, don't try to get into the FBI."
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"Never mind the lookout. Just close the door."
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"Now, listen, you guys."
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"We got you all together"
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"'cause this is something important,"
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"So you tell them, Marcia."
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"No, you."
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"Well, maybe we should just read it."
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"I mean, maybe you should just read it."
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"You're the oldest. But you read better."
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"You guys gonna horse around all night?"
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"If it's that important, somebody read it."
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"And quick. I have to burp my doll."
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"Okay. This was in "Dear Libby's" column tonight."
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""Dear Libby, We have a terrible problem in my family."
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""I have three children of my own,"
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""I had no idea three new children"
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""could cause so much trouble."
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""Should I continue pretending to love these new children,"
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""and wait until they wreck my marriage,"
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"It's signed... "Harried and Hopeless.""
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"What's so important about that?"
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"Well, don't you see, Bobby?"
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"Three children and three new children."
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"That letter's about us."
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"We don't know anybody named Harry Hopeless."
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"That's "Harried and Hopeless.""
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"What makes you so sure it's us? It could be anybody."
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"Sure. Anybody who just happens to have three kids"
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"and then marries someone with three kids."
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"What's the matter?"
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"I don't hear anything."
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"What's the matter with that?"
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"Six kids and no noise... That's what's the matter"
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"with that."
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"I've never heard such a loud silence."
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"Maybe they all went to bed."
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"What about those trips to the kitchen"
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"Cries in the night for water?"
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"Somehow, going to bed"
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"turns every kid into a dehydrated camel."
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"Do you think we should check on them?"
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"No. Marcia and Greg said they would."
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"It's so quiet I can't think."
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"Well, I think we should check on them."
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"No, no, no, no, no."
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"We're going to let sleeping children lie."
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"You mean somebody doesn't love us?"
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"We're not the new children. They are."
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"We are not!"
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"Now, that depends on who wrote the letter."
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"Right. If it's a woman, the boys are the new children."
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"And, if it's a man, we are."
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"What did "Dear Libby" say?"
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""Dear 'Harried and Hopeless, '"
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""Give it a try a little while longer."
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"It just might work.""
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"And that's good."
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"'Cause that'll give us a chance to do something."
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"Like what?"
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"Like behave ourselves."
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"I mean, really behave ourselves."
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"Like act nice and do our homework and stuff?"
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"Yeah, and keep our rooms picked up,"
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"and go to bed without being told."
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"Don't fight with each other, be polite,"
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"and wash our hands and faces"
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"and comb our hair."
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"Nobody'll recognize us."
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"We've got to do it."
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"sure is going to be hard work."
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"And then they washed the windows"
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"after they came home from school today"
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"without being told."
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"Now they're out there cleaning up the garage."
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"They even weeded the garden."
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"Maybe we ought to take their temperatures."
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"Hey, I was watching that."
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"It's time for the ball game."
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"Big deal. It's an important game."
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"Missing a dumb game won't hurt you."
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"Nobody but a dumb girl would say a dumb thing that."
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"If I'm dumb, you're super-dumb."
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"What's the matter?"
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"Peter came in and switched channels..."
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"There's an important game on right this minute,"
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"and she was watching a..."
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"Would you knock it off?"
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"We're supposed to be on our best behavior."
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