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Clips from Schitt's Creek (2015) - The M.V.P. (S05E05)

"Hey, you know what, David, since you were already"
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"planning on being there, maybe-maybe you..."
Schitt's Creek (2015)
"Absolutely not!"
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"- Just two hours of your life. - No, no, no, no, no, no!"
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"- We just need a body! - Then go to the morgue."
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"I will cover you if any flies come your way."
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"I have a spray for that."
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"And you know my stance on team sports."
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"I do. Given today's political climate,"
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"we don't need to divide ourselves any more"
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"- than we already have. - Correct."
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"Have I mentioned to you that there will be a..."
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"barbecue after?"
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"I have a couple questions."
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"How many of the questions are about the barbecue?"
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"Most of them."
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"Like, how soon after the game is the barbecue,"
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"and will the players get to eat first,"
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"- you say that now, but... - Mm... muah!"
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"I don't do well with running."
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"Ronnie, I don't know what the big deal is!"
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"Nobody's gonna even notice that Stevie's not at the game."
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"That's not the problem, Roland."
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"I gotta be honest, sometimes I don't even notice her"
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"when she's standing right in front of me."
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"Roland, the rules say that we can't play"
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"if we don't have nine players!"
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"And I can't stomach the thought of Patrick's team"
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"on us taking this."
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"There is not going to be a game"
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"- if we don't have a full team! - Um, excuse me?"
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"I used to play a little ball in my day."
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"I was the star left fielder from my school team."
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"You played college ball?"
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"No, Hebrew school."
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"There were seven of us, surprisingly,"
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"not a big turn-out, but uh,"
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"the Flying Latkes ended up in fourth place."
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"Johnny, I think some things have changed"
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"since played ball, okay?"
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"For one thing, the war is over. Ohhh!"
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"and needed a player, but uh,"
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"forget it, I'm taking my offer back."
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"Roland, he's our only option."
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"No, he's not!"
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"Joce has a CPR dummy that we can just throw"
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"- out into left field. - Roland!"
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"- We're going with Johnny! - Ah, boy."
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"Great! And just so you know,"
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"I had a pretty strong arm in the outfield."
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"The Rabbi used to call me "Popeye"."
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"Okay... I am gonna give Lorenzo a call,"
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"and change my bet."
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"I'm gonna put everything I got on the other team."
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"Hi Honey, is your Daddy home?"
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"This is so exciting!"
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"Although I did have a cousin who was in "Riverdance""
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"until she got trampled."
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"Yeah, um, I was one of the original Pussycat Dolls,"
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"But I only lasted like, two weeks."
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"Because apparently, I'm "too pretty"."
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"This is gonna be such a fun day!"
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"Hey, Twyla!"
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"What about you, Stevie?"
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"I didn't even know that you wanted to be an actor."
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"- I don't. - Fine, "artist"."
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"I've been dreading this rehearsal"
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"for the past two days."
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"you might wanna set like, a different tone for everyone."
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"I think this is a huge mistake."
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"You're not wrong."
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"You earned it. - No, I didn't."
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"I didn't audition."
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"I don't like attention."
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"than standing on a stage"
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"in front of a room full of people."
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"Okay, Stevie, I think you just need to chill."
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"with the Pussycat Dolls,"
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"it'll be a couple of hours of Kegels,"
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"and then an afternoon of cheeky Bellinis."
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"It's just a lot of pressure."
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"Don't even worry about it."
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"Just like Nicole Scherzinger did for me."
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"Willkommen and bienvenue,"
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"I'm sure this will come as a shock to all of you,"
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"but this production will mark my directorial debut!"
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"Mmm..."
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"Oh."
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"Missing cues already."
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"No, I'm-I'm simply here to inspire."
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"And I want to start the day with my lupanarian"
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"Kit Kat Girls!"
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"We've also included anyone who's requested extra"
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"rehearsal time to work on their dance moves."
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"I just wanna limber up."
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"to the beating heart of our show,"
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"our Sally Bowles, Miss Stevie..."
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"You're wondering, are we really going to lay"
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"this colossal enterprise upon her tiny shoulders?"
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"Yes! I'm a 100% confident"
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"that you will all soon see what I hope"
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"I believe I may be seeing in you, Stevie."
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"Thank you."
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"As long as you're up, why don't we jump right in?"
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"Uh, I thought this more of a meet and greet kind of thing."
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"It's the afternoon upon which"
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""Monster on my Back.""
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"Wow..."
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"Okay, just so you're aware,"
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"I had a very cute,"
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""my boyfriend's on the baseball team" spectator look"
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"prepared for today,"
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"They're called cleats, and I think you look very cute."
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"This just isn't how I pictured"
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"being a placeholder rolling out."
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"maybe throw the ball around a little bit?"
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"This glove is brown. My shoes are black."
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"What exactly are we doing here?"
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"- We're gonna practice? - Practice what?!"
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"You told me I was just a body in a field!"
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