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Clips from MacGruber

Movies 2010 90 min ★ 5.6/10 (50,769 ratings) 1,511 clips
Comedy Action

Credits

I didn't.
"I didn't."
MacGruber
you gotta keep him on the line long enough to get a location.
"you gotta keep him on the line long enough to get a location."
MacGruber
- No. - Wow.
"- No. - Wow."
MacGruber
That's my phone. Talk to me.
"That's my phone. Talk to me."
MacGruber
Oh, they're jazzed. How's everything at the P-Gon?
"Oh, they're jazzed. How's everything at the P-Gon?"
MacGruber
No, Mac. You are not to enter that party.
"No, Mac. You are not to enter that party."
MacGruber
- Us? - Yes.
"- Us? - Yes."
MacGruber
Don't worry, l'm gonna keep a real low profile.
"Don't worry, l'm gonna keep a real low profile."
MacGruber
You think? Where's Vicki?
"You think? Where's Vicki?"
MacGruber
Jesus Christ.
"Jesus Christ."
MacGruber
Where have you been?
"Where have you been?"
MacGruber
Sorry, I just took an upper decker in the master bathroom.
"Sorry, I just took an upper decker in the master bathroom."
MacGruber
Yeah, it's where you take a dump in the water tank and not in the bowl.
"Yeah, it's where you take a dump in the water tank and not in the bowl."
MacGruber
You look great.
"You look great."
MacGruber
I'm going to need you to poke around, see what you can dig up.
"I'm going to need you to poke around, see what you can dig up."
MacGruber
Really? Well, if you think he's so handsome...
"Really? Well, if you think he's so handsome..."
MacGruber
Is he that handsome to you?
"Is he that handsome to you?"
MacGruber
Are you willing to quit your job for him?
"Are you willing to quit your job for him?"
MacGruber
who I actually would describe as ugly.
"who I actually would describe as ugly."
MacGruber
- Sorry about that. - Really.
"- Sorry about that. - Really."
MacGruber
I thought he was bluffing there, so...
"I thought he was bluffing there, so..."
MacGruber
This is my daughter.
"This is my daughter."
MacGruber
That's right, because most warheads are filled with air.
"That's right, because most warheads are filled with air."
MacGruber
You know, I ran into Zeke Pleshette
"You know, I ran into Zeke Pleshette"
MacGruber
and Hoss Bender the other day.
"and Hoss Bender the other day."
MacGruber
Really? How were they?
"Really? How were they?"
MacGruber
Oh, that's right. You got me. Past tense. They were...
"Oh, that's right. You got me. Past tense. They were..."
MacGruber
in the history of the world.
"in the history of the world."
MacGruber
And wouldn't you know it, it exploded.
"And wouldn't you know it, it exploded."
MacGruber
Well, we have a lot in common
"Well, we have a lot in common"
MacGruber
because l basically did the same thing...
"because l basically did the same thing..."
MacGruber
because l'm not a fucking retard who blows up his own dudes.
"because l'm not a fucking retard who blows up his own dudes."
MacGruber
But I also have one of the greatest young military minds around.
"But I also have one of the greatest young military minds around."
MacGruber
Shit!
"Shit!"
MacGruber
Where's Vicki?
"Where's Vicki?"
MacGruber
My family?
"My family?"
MacGruber
Vicki, l just got thrown out of the party.
"Vicki, l just got thrown out of the party."
MacGruber
by MacGruber in front of my daughter and all my guests.
"by MacGruber in front of my daughter and all my guests."
MacGruber
Anyone else feel like being honest?
"Anyone else feel like being honest?"
MacGruber
I got him exactly where I want him.
"I got him exactly where I want him."
MacGruber
I will suck your fucking dick.
"I will suck your fucking dick."
MacGruber
It's over.
"It's over."
MacGruber
I have a feeling in my gut.
"I have a feeling in my gut."
MacGruber
If it's any consolation...
"If it's any consolation..."
MacGruber
being with you the last few days...
"being with you the last few days..."
MacGruber
but that's an important part of the learning process.
"but that's an important part of the learning process."
MacGruber
Number one or number two?
"Number one or number two?"
MacGruber
What are you talking about?
"What are you talking about?"
MacGruber
Come on, man. You can see it from a mile away.
"Come on, man. You can see it from a mile away."
MacGruber
I mean, look, don't get me wrong. She's a good woman.
"I mean, look, don't get me wrong. She's a good woman."
MacGruber
smooth dresser, talented lyricist.
"smooth dresser, talented lyricist."
MacGruber
she left him for me.
"she left him for me."
MacGruber
She was actually carrying his child at the time.
"She was actually carrying his child at the time."
MacGruber
We were so in love.
"We were so in love."
MacGruber
You know it.
"You know it."
MacGruber
Another beer, Grubes?
"Another beer, Grubes?"
MacGruber
Let's see, we got Molsons...
"Let's see, we got Molsons..."
MacGruber
How did you know I was wearing a bulletproof vest?
"How did you know I was wearing a bulletproof vest?"
MacGruber
Pull over and let me out.
"Pull over and let me out."
MacGruber
Because you just used me as a human shield!
"Because you just used me as a human shield!"
MacGruber
and thanks.
"and thanks."
MacGruber
I deserve pain.
"I deserve pain."
MacGruber
Not me.
"Not me."
MacGruber
Or maybe the Colonel was right.
"Or maybe the Colonel was right."
MacGruber
Why do you stick around?
"Why do you stick around?"
MacGruber
You do?
"You do?"
MacGruber
You're gorgeous, you have a perfect body.
"You're gorgeous, you have a perfect body."
MacGruber
A great sense of style.
"A great sense of style."
MacGruber
Maybe one day...
"Maybe one day..."
MacGruber
you'll get the courage to tell him how you feel.
"you'll get the courage to tell him how you feel."
MacGruber
I always get an erection...
"I always get an erection..."
MacGruber
MacGruber.
"MacGruber."
MacGruber
I better get you sewn up.
"I better get you sewn up."
MacGruber
My God, l'm gonna frigging explode inside you.
"My God, l'm gonna frigging explode inside you."
MacGruber
I'm going to fill you up.
"I'm going to fill you up."
MacGruber
I'm going to fill you up.
"I'm going to fill you up."
MacGruber
Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah!
"Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah!"
MacGruber
Be with Vicki.
"Be with Vicki."
MacGruber
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
"Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!"
MacGruber
Wow. Wow. Wow.
"Wow. Wow. Wow."
MacGruber
I'm going to shoot.
"I'm going to shoot."
MacGruber
Go tell Vicki how you feel about her.
"Go tell Vicki how you feel about her."
MacGruber
I will.
"I will."
MacGruber
Thanks.
"Thanks."
MacGruber
Good news?
"Good news?"
MacGruber
We just received intel
"We just received intel"
MacGruber
I don't know what he's gonna do...
"I don't know what he's gonna do..."
MacGruber
Oh, my God.
"Oh, my God."
MacGruber
Just go to a beach somewhere...
"Just go to a beach somewhere..."
MacGruber
I have a better idea.
"I have a better idea."
MacGruber
Senator, tell me again where you got this intel.
"Senator, tell me again where you got this intel."
MacGruber
Vicki?
"Vicki?"
MacGruber
Oh, Vicki.
"Oh, Vicki."
MacGruber
I somehow stumbled on her cell phone.
"I somehow stumbled on her cell phone."
MacGruber
If you don't, I'll smash it...
"If you don't, I'll smash it..."
MacGruber
I understand. Or at least I think I do.
"I understand. Or at least I think I do."
MacGruber
Wow. I didn't expect that. Thanks, MacGruber.
"Wow. I didn't expect that. Thanks, MacGruber."
MacGruber
Uh... Let's see, how do I put this?
"Uh... Let's see, how do I put this?"
MacGruber
sorry about last night.
"sorry about last night."
MacGruber
Let's get something straight.
"Let's get something straight."
MacGruber
Well, my life is just as at stake.
"Well, my life is just as at stake."
MacGruber
That's all you do, is talk.
"That's all you do, is talk."
MacGruber
Colonel!
"Colonel!"
MacGruber
MacGruber was right.
"MacGruber was right."
MacGruber
That's a pretty gross way to look at it.
"That's a pretty gross way to look at it."
MacGruber
I don't know how many people you're planning on killing...
"I don't know how many people you're planning on killing..."
MacGruber
MacGruber?
"MacGruber?"
MacGruber
Jesus Christ.
"Jesus Christ."
MacGruber
Pretty cool, right? Bet you weren't expecting that.
"Pretty cool, right? Bet you weren't expecting that."
MacGruber
Yeah, that was really disgusting.
"Yeah, that was really disgusting."
MacGruber
Besides, he would've done the exact same thing to me if he had the chance.
"Besides, he would've done the exact same thing to me if he had the chance."
MacGruber
No, he wouldn't have. He would've shot you, not...
"No, he wouldn't have. He would've shot you, not..."
MacGruber
Your butt?
"Your butt?"
MacGruber
Up your butthole?
"Up your butthole?"
MacGruber
kill you right in front of him, and then...
"kill you right in front of him, and then..."
MacGruber
This will be one of the most anticipated State of the Unions in history.
"This will be one of the most anticipated State of the Unions in history."
MacGruber
the President of the United States.
"the President of the United States."
MacGruber
I don't want to use the F-word...
"I don't want to use the F-word..."
MacGruber
But it was fucking great.
"But it was fucking great."
MacGruber
And I've never felt that way about a bone session before.
"And I've never felt that way about a bone session before."
MacGruber