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Clips from Brooklyn Nine-Nine - Defense Rests (S02E02)

Did he actually say that?

"Did he actually say that?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

That's crazy. They're the enemy.

"That's crazy. They're the enemy."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Here is the target... Geoffrey Hoytsman.

"Here is the target... Geoffrey Hoytsman."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

It's real dicey. Yeah.

"It's real dicey. Yeah."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

No, wait. That's too sexy.

"No, wait. That's too sexy."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Please, Sarge. Just come.

"Please, Sarge. Just come."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

But you'll never forget their smug lawyer faces.

"But you'll never forget their smug lawyer faces."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I could have choked on that mint

"I could have choked on that mint"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Precisely.

"Precisely."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I had a nemesis once:

"I had a nemesis once:"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

She wronged me,

"She wronged me,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Yeah. Sophia.

"Yeah. Sophia."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Heeeeeeey, girlfriend.

"Heeeeeeey, girlfriend."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

That came out saucier than I was expecting.

"That came out saucier than I was expecting."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Oh. Hell-bent on ending humanity,

"Oh. Hell-bent on ending humanity,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Look, I've done my research on Hoytsman:

"Look, I've done my research on Hoytsman:"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

It's not a sport if gravity does the work for you.

"It's not a sport if gravity does the work for you."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

is 'cause I don't value you as people,

"is 'cause I don't value you as people,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Aww. All right, I'm back.

"Aww. All right, I'm back."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

After that, the judge just threw it out on the spot.

"After that, the judge just threw it out on the spot."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

shot glasses of gazpacho.

"shot glasses of gazpacho."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Satay, tartare...

"Satay, tartare..."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

No! Well played.

"No! Well played."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

without knocking the whole thing over.

"without knocking the whole thing over."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Ah! Hello Geoffrey.

"Ah! Hello Geoffrey."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

This night is making me incredibly anxious.

"This night is making me incredibly anxious."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Nothing. Nothing at all.

"Nothing. Nothing at all."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I should take the high road, that was probably

"I should take the high road, that was probably"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

This is a bad idea.

"This is a bad idea."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Who cares about you and your gross life?

"Who cares about you and your gross life?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

'Cause I could think of 50 other ways

"'Cause I could think of 50 other ways"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Hey, you know what? We're done.

"Hey, you know what? We're done."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I wanted to stop you.

"I wanted to stop you."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Grand gesture. I took the stairs.

"Grand gesture. I took the stairs."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Romance is hard!

"Romance is hard!"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I don't have anything to say.

"I don't have anything to say."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I'm not gonna let us break up over this.

"I'm not gonna let us break up over this."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Our lives are incompatible.

"Our lives are incompatible."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

and I know this sounds like I'm describing enemies,

"and I know this sounds like I'm describing enemies,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

That play ends in a tragic double suicide.

"That play ends in a tragic double suicide."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

It's just not that serious.

"It's just not that serious."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I know. I-

"I know. I-"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Double suicide?

"Double suicide?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I used it to get a promotion from the NYPD.

"I used it to get a promotion from the NYPD."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I wanted to give you these as a thank you.

"I wanted to give you these as a thank you."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

has made my childhood dreams come true.

"has made my childhood dreams come true."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

A certified shaman will conduct the ceremony,

"A certified shaman will conduct the ceremony,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

and the ring bearer will be an actual wolf.

"and the ring bearer will be an actual wolf."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Oh man, I could do it, but I wouldn't be as majestic

"Oh man, I could do it, but I wouldn't be as majestic"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

This wedding sounds weird. I'm into it.

"This wedding sounds weird. I'm into it."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

You like Sophia, you fought for her.

"You like Sophia, you fought for her."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

It's "Butt" now.

"It's "Butt" now."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

we should have given women the right to vote?

"we should have given women the right to vote?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Oh, that's so sweet.

"Oh, that's so sweet."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Deputy Chief Wuntch is here to see you.

"Deputy Chief Wuntch is here to see you."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I'm gonna throw a milkshake in your face.

"I'm gonna throw a milkshake in your face."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

How can I explain this? Oh, Okay.

"How can I explain this? Oh, Okay."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I'm just gonna blow past that. Yeah.

"I'm just gonna blow past that. Yeah."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

You can't charm the robots.

"You can't charm the robots."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

He's always in Atlantic City.

"He's always in Atlantic City."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Fine. I'll talk to him.

"Fine. I'll talk to him."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

put his jerk nose into a pile of jerk cocaine?

"put his jerk nose into a pile of jerk cocaine?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Mint?

"Mint?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Yes, I do.

"Yes, I do."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

So it's just physical?

"So it's just physical?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I was only interested in the Boston offer as leverage.

"I was only interested in the Boston offer as leverage."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Amy suggested we negotiate terms,

"Amy suggested we negotiate terms,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I feel like old people.

"I feel like old people."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Ah, that was a bad idea. I'll bang my own sulders.

"Ah, that was a bad idea. I'll bang my own sulders."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Wicked.

"Wicked."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Your conflict resolution skills

"Your conflict resolution skills"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Incompetent!

"Incompetent!"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

who just entered their swarm-hive.

"who just entered their swarm-hive."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Yes! 'Szpach!

"Yes! 'Szpach!"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

The plan is working, Captain.

"The plan is working, Captain."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

You may go now,

"You may go now,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Okay. It was cocaine.

"Okay. It was cocaine."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Yeah, you just went back and ruined what you said.

"Yeah, you just went back and ruined what you said."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

And that's cocaine.

"And that's cocaine."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

♪ ♪

"♪ ♪"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

In eggrolls.

"In eggrolls."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

This is nice.

"This is nice."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

So, my boss hasn't been assigning me

"So, my boss hasn't been assigning me"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Well, you know how our parents have been

"Well, you know how our parents have been"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Where the 'szpach, Hoytsman?

"Where the 'szpach, Hoytsman?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Don't play games with me, boy.

"Don't play games with me, boy."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Oh no. Was it?

"Oh no. Was it?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

so it's, like, why be honest?

"so it's, like, why be honest?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Do it for me. Do it for love.

"Do it for me. Do it for love."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

To Lynn and Darlene Boyle.

"To Lynn and Darlene Boyle."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Remember, you called it "Satan's Charity Ball,

"Remember, you called it "Satan's Charity Ball,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

God, they're everywhere.

"God, they're everywhere."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

because I sanitize it daily.

"because I sanitize it daily."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

but my job's really important to me, too.

"but my job's really important to me, too."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Jake, there's something I want to talk to you about.

"Jake, there's something I want to talk to you about."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

♪ I go to work ♪

"♪ I go to work ♪"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Detective, have a seat.

"Detective, have a seat."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Second grade? That little turd hoarded all the good markers.

"Second grade? That little turd hoarded all the good markers."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

between my fingers.

"between my fingers."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I haven't seen that movie, but I'm assuming she's naked.

"I haven't seen that movie, but I'm assuming she's naked."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

most of my weekends in Atlantic City these days.

"most of my weekends in Atlantic City these days."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Okay, you know what?

"Okay, you know what?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Oh, nothing but glass!

"Oh, nothing but glass!"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I'll take that action.

"I'll take that action."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

He was snorting cocaine in the bathroom.

"He was snorting cocaine in the bathroom."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Please, my friends call me Jakey Snowpants,

"Please, my friends call me Jakey Snowpants,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Look, I know I'm a stage five player,

"Look, I know I'm a stage five player,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

You torpedoed her promotion?

"You torpedoed her promotion?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I'm not.

"I'm not."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

'Cause if this thing is happening,

"'Cause if this thing is happening,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

My lady left me.

"My lady left me."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

You can hold your head up:

"You can hold your head up:"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Raymond. I was just about to call you.

"Raymond. I was just about to call you."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

and a toast to Amy. Oh.

"and a toast to Amy. Oh."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Now when she types "Wuntch," it gets replaced with "Butt."

"Now when she types "Wuntch," it gets replaced with "Butt.""

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

All right, that's it. We have gotta fight back.

"All right, that's it. We have gotta fight back."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

What are you guys doing here?

"What are you guys doing here?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

No, I don't want to seem desperate.

"No, I don't want to seem desperate."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

The Chamber of Snakes.

"The Chamber of Snakes."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

♪ I go to work ♪

"♪ I go to work ♪"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

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