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Clips from Big Mouth - The Planned Parenthood Show (S02E02)

Movies 2017 Season 2, Episode 5 563 clips
Comedy
-[thuds] -I shot your kid girlfriend
"-[thuds] -I shot your kid girlfriend"
Big Mouth
because you're ruined my walls with your sex disease.
"because you're ruined my walls with your sex disease."
Big Mouth
Ah! I'm so glad to see you.
"Ah! I'm so glad to see you."
Big Mouth
You, too. You're my best friend, Andrew.
"You, too. You're my best friend, Andrew."
Big Mouth
-Blue Waffle? -Yeah, you know it.
"-Blue Waffle? -Yeah, you know it."
Big Mouth
-Get out. -What?
"-Get out. -What?"
Big Mouth
Yeah, before you infect anyone else,
"Yeah, before you infect anyone else,"
Big Mouth
That's what I was hoping you weren't gonna do!
"That's what I was hoping you weren't gonna do!"
Big Mouth
Don't worry. I'll do it nice and slow.
"Don't worry. I'll do it nice and slow."
Big Mouth
What's the matter, Judd? Feeling a little blue?
"What's the matter, Judd? Feeling a little blue?"
Big Mouth
-Andrew, I was cool. Did you hear that? -Yes, it was funny. Come on, keep moving.
"-Andrew, I was cool. Did you hear that? -Yes, it was funny. Come on, keep moving."
Big Mouth
Eat a dick, Nick!
"Eat a dick, Nick!"
Big Mouth
Like, gross!
"Like, gross!"
Big Mouth
Maury!
"Maury!"
Big Mouth
Whoa! What the--
"Whoa! What the--"
Big Mouth
Everyone, listen! I have Blue Waffle.
"Everyone, listen! I have Blue Waffle."
Big Mouth
Honey, I'm sorry. I can't.
"Honey, I'm sorry. I can't."
Big Mouth
No, it's because Blue Waffle is not real.
"No, it's because Blue Waffle is not real."
Big Mouth
Is the violent diarrhea because I brush my teeth with raw chicken?
"Is the violent diarrhea because I brush my teeth with raw chicken?"
Big Mouth
And I wish people would come in and get tested before they start googling
"And I wish people would come in and get tested before they start googling"
Big Mouth
-Slender Man is. -[Andrew screaming]
"-Slender Man is. -[Andrew screaming]"
Big Mouth
Andrew, that was upsetting.
"Andrew, that was upsetting."
Big Mouth
Yeah, basically.
"Yeah, basically."
Big Mouth
I want to thank Deee-Lite for "Groove is in the Heart,"
"I want to thank Deee-Lite for "Groove is in the Heart,""
Big Mouth
-I love you! -The whole cast.
"-I love you! -The whole cast."
Big Mouth
You guys rocked it.
"You guys rocked it."
Big Mouth
even though so many people are gonna be furious at us for doing it.
"even though so many people are gonna be furious at us for doing it."
Big Mouth
SDH Created by: Arvind Vishwakarma
"SDH Created by: Arvind Vishwakarma"
Big Mouth
-[bell rings] -[Steve] All right, guys.
"-[bell rings] -[Steve] All right, guys."
Big Mouth
which I am now qualified to teach
"which I am now qualified to teach"
Big Mouth
-Any questions? -Nick Birch, row three.
"-Any questions? -Nick Birch, row three."
Big Mouth
-what do you mean by that? -I had the same question.
"-what do you mean by that? -I had the same question."
Big Mouth
I'm talking about emptying my guts into a lady.
"I'm talking about emptying my guts into a lady."
Big Mouth
Oh, I see.
"Oh, I see."
Big Mouth
I hope you at least wore a condom.
"I hope you at least wore a condom."
Big Mouth
A yogurt balloon? No. Those things taste terrible.
"A yogurt balloon? No. Those things taste terrible."
Big Mouth
I didn't even think of that. I was so busy gooping.
"I didn't even think of that. I was so busy gooping."
Big Mouth
Maybe you should go to a doctor or a Planned Parenthood.
"Maybe you should go to a doctor or a Planned Parenthood."
Big Mouth
Jay, you don't know what you're talking about.
"Jay, you don't know what you're talking about."
Big Mouth
Oh, for your information, I've been in the car and number of times
"Oh, for your information, I've been in the car and number of times"
Big Mouth
and he calls it an abortion factory.
"and he calls it an abortion factory."
Big Mouth
Yeah, we seen his law commercials.
"Yeah, we seen his law commercials."
Big Mouth
Don't forget his Twitter feed. Pretty outspoken on Twitter.
"Don't forget his Twitter feed. Pretty outspoken on Twitter."
Big Mouth
I'm sorry, but they do a lot more than abortions.
"I'm sorry, but they do a lot more than abortions."
Big Mouth
Yeah, they save lives.
"Yeah, they save lives."
Big Mouth
-By killing babies? -Jay, please stop.
"-By killing babies? -Jay, please stop."
Big Mouth
Gentlemen, I think Jessi is referring to cancer screenings.
"Gentlemen, I think Jessi is referring to cancer screenings."
Big Mouth
I don't understand.
"I don't understand."
Big Mouth
Ooh! That is a fine line we're trying to walk.
"Ooh! That is a fine line we're trying to walk."
Big Mouth
The evil Lord Bilzerian has declared women's healthcare "gay"
"The evil Lord Bilzerian has declared women's healthcare "gay""
Big Mouth
and outlawed all Planned Parenthoods.
"and outlawed all Planned Parenthoods."
Big Mouth
led by Captain Missy Foreman-Greenwald. They are...
"led by Captain Missy Foreman-Greenwald. They are..."
Big Mouth
The Vagilantes!
"The Vagilantes!"
Big Mouth
Captain, we're getting an urgent transmission.
"Captain, we're getting an urgent transmission."
Big Mouth
[swooshes]
"[swooshes]"
Big Mouth
Texania. That's Bilzerian territory.
"Texania. That's Bilzerian territory."
Big Mouth
Well, I'll protect her too.
"Well, I'll protect her too."
Big Mouth
I'm fully capable of protecting myself.
"I'm fully capable of protecting myself."
Big Mouth
Excuse me, am I a janitor?
"Excuse me, am I a janitor?"
Big Mouth
Even the person who through our feces out of the window by hand.
"Even the person who through our feces out of the window by hand."
Big Mouth
What? Why do I have to do it that way?
"What? Why do I have to do it that way?"
Big Mouth
Fuck you, Glouberman, and go wash your hands.
"Fuck you, Glouberman, and go wash your hands."
Big Mouth
No matter how much you wash your hands,
"No matter how much you wash your hands,"
Big Mouth
a trace amount of feces will always remain.
"a trace amount of feces will always remain."
Big Mouth
Captain, our sensors have detected a Bilzerian patrol in the area.
"Captain, our sensors have detected a Bilzerian patrol in the area."
Big Mouth
The patient is ready.
"The patient is ready."
Big Mouth
Brace yourself, people! Initiating shrink down.
"Brace yourself, people! Initiating shrink down."
Big Mouth
Well, I wish we could shrink the feces.
"Well, I wish we could shrink the feces."
Big Mouth
[Fillion] You know, I'll never get used to this part of the job.
"[Fillion] You know, I'll never get used to this part of the job."
Big Mouth
Extending the swab, captain.
"Extending the swab, captain."
Big Mouth
Okay, now scan the sample for abnormal cells.
"Okay, now scan the sample for abnormal cells."
Big Mouth
Captain, another ship has entered the vagina.
"Captain, another ship has entered the vagina."
Big Mouth
What sort of space ship would enter a vagina without consent?
"What sort of space ship would enter a vagina without consent?"
Big Mouth
I was totally gonna say that.
"I was totally gonna say that."
Big Mouth
Oh, boys. Please.
"Oh, boys. Please."
Big Mouth
Not on my watch, friend.
"Not on my watch, friend."
Big Mouth
We'll lose them in the fallopian tubes. I guarantee it.
"We'll lose them in the fallopian tubes. I guarantee it."
Big Mouth
It's gonna be a tight squeeze.
"It's gonna be a tight squeeze."
Big Mouth
[Fillion] Well, I'd rather kiss butt
"[Fillion] Well, I'd rather kiss butt"
Big Mouth
than take what comes out of a butt by hand and fling it out the window.
"than take what comes out of a butt by hand and fling it out the window."
Big Mouth
You know, you're 50 years old.
"You know, you're 50 years old."
Big Mouth
Missy, I need you to know I am only in my mid-forties.
"Missy, I need you to know I am only in my mid-forties."
Big Mouth
When the average woman is born, she has 300,000 eggs.
"When the average woman is born, she has 300,000 eggs."
Big Mouth
Gracious me! Do you see what I see?
"Gracious me! Do you see what I see?"
Big Mouth
An ovarian cyst!
"An ovarian cyst!"
Big Mouth
Oh, fuck. I mean, Chewbacca sound!
"Oh, fuck. I mean, Chewbacca sound!"
Big Mouth
We have to remove in case it ruptures.
"We have to remove in case it ruptures."
Big Mouth
No, Missy. It's too dangerous.
"No, Missy. It's too dangerous."
Big Mouth
-For once, I agree with Mr. Shit. -Do you see how mean he is to me?
"-For once, I agree with Mr. Shit. -Do you see how mean he is to me?"
Big Mouth
Guys, I have to do it.
"Guys, I have to do it."
Big Mouth
This woman's reproductive health might be at stake.
"This woman's reproductive health might be at stake."
Big Mouth
[Fillion] Missy, we've got a problem.
"[Fillion] Missy, we've got a problem."
Big Mouth
Stop right there.
"Stop right there."
Big Mouth
because it is this very system
"because it is this very system"
Big Mouth
that brings each and every one of us into the world.
"that brings each and every one of us into the world."
Big Mouth
Even you, Bilzerians.
"Even you, Bilzerians."
Big Mouth
You are of us.
"You are of us."
Big Mouth
You know, she's right.
"You know, she's right."
Big Mouth
The female reproductive system is how you make...
"The female reproductive system is how you make..."
Big Mouth
for male excellence.
"for male excellence."
Big Mouth
-Come on, boys! -Dudes!
"-Come on, boys! -Dudes!"
Big Mouth
Vagina wipe!
"Vagina wipe!"
Big Mouth
What an exciting adventure this has been.
"What an exciting adventure this has been."
Big Mouth
Yes, it really makes you think about what's important.
"Yes, it really makes you think about what's important."
Big Mouth
And I'm sorry that all your shows got canceled.
"And I'm sorry that all your shows got canceled."
Big Mouth
[laughing]
"[laughing]"
Big Mouth
Si, Senor. A thousand times si.
"Si, Senor. A thousand times si."
Big Mouth
You said it, baby. Vroom!
"You said it, baby. Vroom!"
Big Mouth
Argh!
"Argh!"
Big Mouth
Okay, fine.
"Okay, fine."
Big Mouth
Maybe Planned Parenthood does a couple cancer screenings.
"Maybe Planned Parenthood does a couple cancer screenings."
Big Mouth
-But it's mostly abortions. -Common misconception, Jay.
"-But it's mostly abortions. -Common misconception, Jay."
Big Mouth
Abortions make up only a tiny percentage of what they do.
"Abortions make up only a tiny percentage of what they do."
Big Mouth
Yeah, they also do breast exams.
"Yeah, they also do breast exams."
Big Mouth
In fact, I'll pay you in Bitcoin.
"In fact, I'll pay you in Bitcoin."
Big Mouth
You know that's possible, right?
"You know that's possible, right?"
Big Mouth
Also, Planned Parenthood offers birth control
"Also, Planned Parenthood offers birth control"
Big Mouth
Good luck.
"Good luck."
Big Mouth
Everybody says that pigeons are the rats of the sky,
"Everybody says that pigeons are the rats of the sky,"
Big Mouth
they're the Einsteins of the diaper barge where I live.
"they're the Einsteins of the diaper barge where I live."
Big Mouth