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Clips from The Golden Girls - Nice and Easy (S01E01)

"If she doesn't already have one, I don't think it's humanly possible."
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"- You can't go alone! - We'll all go."
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"- (all scream) - What are we screaming at?"
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"- I'm not sure. Dorothy? - The mouse, the mouse!"
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"Rose, you promised that you'd get rid of it!"
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"Oh, I'm sorry, Dorothy. I tried to reason with him,"
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"but he just didn't seem to understand why he had to leave."
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"Oh, I thought I had him convinced,"
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"but at the last minute, he changed his mind."
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"Which surprised me, because mice aren't usually fickle."
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"But this mouse is an odd duck!"
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"Rose, how many head wounds have you had?"
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"I know a lot of people prefer Sonny Crockett on the show,"
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"but me, I'm strictly a Tubbs man."
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"- I've never seen the show. - You've never seen Miami Vice?"
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"It's only the best show that's ever been on television... ever!"
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"It's in stereo, for Pete's sake!"
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"- Oh, I'd like to see my niece. - Sure, come on in."
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"Aunt Blanche, I can't believe you're here."
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"Haven't you embarrassed me enough already?"
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"Lucy, can we please talk in private?"
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"- I have no secrets from, um... - Ed."
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"...Ed."
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"If you need some privacy, you can use my bedroom."
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"Please, ladies, have a seat."
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"- Can I get you ladies anything to drink? - Oh, no, thank you."
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"- I like your apartment. - Thank you."
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"It kind of looks like something out of Miami Vice."
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"Really? Are you a fan of the show?"
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"- I adore it. - Me, too!"
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"Miami Vice has been the biggest influence on my life."
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"That's why I joined the police force. That's why I drive a fancy car."
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"You can't afford all that stuff on a vice cop's salary."
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"Aunt Blanche, I'm a grown woman. I can live my life any way I want to."
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"Oh, I know that. I just don't think this is the way you really want to live it."
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"No, honey. What they find you is available, and that's no compliment."
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"I find this very strange coming from you, Aunt Blanche,"
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"'cause from the stories I've heard, you're not exactly a saint."
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"No, you're right. I do enjoy the company of gentlemen... always have."
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"I can promise you one thing, Lucy - when I'm with a man, it's 'cause I like him,"
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"not 'cause I want him to like me."
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"Well, what's wrong with wanting to be liked?"
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"Aunt Blanche, do you remember what I looked like as a kid?"
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"Oh, yes, I do. You were a beautiful child."
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"And I used to think to myself,"
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""Oh, I would give anything to be just like my Aunt Blanche -"
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"to be pretty and popular with lots of friends.""
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"And then when I turned 16, it seemed like everything changed overnight."
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"I shot up and out, the braces came off..."
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"...and finally, the boys started to notice me."
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"And it was nice to be noticed, to be liked."
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"Oh, baby. Honey, you've been trying so hard to get everybody to like you"
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"that you never got around to liking yourself. And if you don't like yourself,"
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"you can't respect yourself, and if you can't respect yourself,"
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"neither can anybody else."
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"Why don't you come on home?"
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"I don't want to spend it fighting. I want to enjoy being with my favorite niece!"
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"Ohh!"
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"OK, how about this one - what was the name of the informant"
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"in the "Cool Running" episode? There's no way!"
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"That was Noogie, better known on the street as "the Noog Man.""
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"Rose, you're just incredible on Miami Vice trivia. I've never met anyone so smart!"
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"- Come on, everybody, we're going home. - But I just put popcorn in the microwave."
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"Oh, listen, Ed, I'm sorry. You're a nice guy, but I have to go."
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"I understand, Lucy. Would you mind if I gave you a call sometime?"
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"Sure, I guess that'd be OK."
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"Oh, I don't think so."
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"Are you sure? Tuesday night, I'm getting together with a couple of buddies."
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"No."
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"Goodnight, Ed. We're going to go home now."
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"Gotcha! Trapped like a rat."
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"OK, so you're a mouse."
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"Either way, you're out of here!"
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"Oh, listen, you had your chance to leave, and you didn't take it..."
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"I mean, I'm probably doing you a favor."
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"I mean, what kind of life are you having?"
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"What, you hang around sewers, you eat garbage."
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"That's not living, honey."
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"Now, believe me, you'll be better off once I put you out of your misery."
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"I have never killed another living thing in my entire life."
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"All right, a bug. Yes, I have killed bugs..."
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"I don't know why, they just don't!"
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"I don't believe this!"
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"I'm talking to a mouse."
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"The scary part is, I think you're listening."
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"Oh, look, I beg you, mammal to mammal."
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"Please go!"
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"Look, the exterminator said that you came in through a hole under the sink."
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"Please, that's the way I'd like you to go."
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"Oh, good boy! Ohh!"
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"You have the gift!"
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"Oh, Rose! Tell me, how long have you been standing there?"
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"I wasn't talking to a mouse."
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"- Yes, you were. I saw you. - I was kidding!"
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"There are only a few of us privileged to have the gift to communicate with animals."
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"Lucy's ready to leave. Come on, let's say goodbye."
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"- I swear I'll kill you! - Oh, Dorothy, don't be silly."
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"You couldn't even kill a little mouse."
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"That's because you can communicate with them."
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"Oh, Dorothy, one word of caution."
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"It's a powerful gift... use it wisely."
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"You let me know the minute you decide where you're going to school."
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"I will. Oh, thank you."
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"Oh, thank you for loving me so much."
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"These last few days have really made a difference."
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"Sophia, oh, thank you."
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"Dorothy, Rose, I hope I wasn't too much trouble."
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"- Don't be silly. - No, we enjoyed having you."
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"- So did half of Miami. - Ma!"
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"- Have a safe trip! - OK. Bye-bye."
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"Bye, darling."
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"Oh, I told her a lot of things. I told her she was a bright, charming,"
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"funny young lady who didn't have to rely upon sex to be liked."
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"Well, good for you, Blanche."
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"You know, I hadn't realized how much she's been looking up to me."
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"I think the thing that really turned her around was"
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"when I told her that when it comes to men, I'm just a lot of talk."
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"Embellishment's one of the oldest traditions in the South."
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"Tall tales and tall drinks."
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"I don't really sleep around near as much as I say I do."
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