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Clips from Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000) - Elizabeth, Margaret and Larry (S10E10)

"It is close! She slept with my friend, Ted Danson."
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"-Okay? -Larry: Okay. That's fine."
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"-Because Ted is like a sister to Larry. -Larry: Yeah!"
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"No. It's a relationship with Ted."
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"-It's not, I didn't just go have s-- -Larry: Oh, it's a relationship?"
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"Who's to say that I'm not gonna have a relationship"
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"-with Becky, what do you mean? -Cheryl: Oh, my God."
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"Susie: You know how jealous Becky is of Cheryl."
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"You know that Becky thinks of herself as Princess Margaret,"
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"and that Cheryl is Queen Elizabeth."
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"-Yeah. Right. -Yeah. Oh, and you think you're Prince Philip?"
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"-Yeah. -Cheryl: Oh, my God."
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"Prince Philip would put a fucking gun to his head"
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"before he had you representing him."
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"Again, real quick, are we talking about The Crown now?"
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"-Yeah. -How good is that show?"
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"You know what, Jon Hamm, it was nice meeting you."
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"You know what, I've heard enough. Come on, Jonny. Let's go eat."
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"-I'll call you. -You've had enough..."
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"-...you petty piece of shit. -Thank you so much, by the way."
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"Susie: Yeah, it's great. It's great."
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"-Go, go be him, asshole. -Thank you."
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"-Aw, man. -Larry: What are you doing?"
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"You just plopped that into your, into your water?"
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"Yeah, I plopped it in because I like lime with my water."
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"You ever see signs in bathrooms, "Wash before leaving"?"
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"It doesn't matter if their hands are clean."
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"-Richard: They don't have to-- -The rind's dirty."
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"-You get a disease. -Aah, please."
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"It's bullshit."
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"And I'm really irked about something, man."
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"Did you say "irked"?"
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"-Yeah, irked. -I never heard you use that word before, but go ahead."
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"I'm irked because-- with all due respect--"
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"Jon is here, and Michelle is--"
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"you wouldn't let Michelle come to dinner."
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"I have to watch my Ps and Qs."
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"I don't wanna watch Ps and Qs."
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"Do you wanna watch Ps and Qs?"
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"What are you, Shari Lewis? Where's Lamb Chop?"
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"-In your pants? -(laughing)"
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"-Look, she's irked. -She's irked."
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"So you're both irked?"
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"She's so angry at me that I had to, you know, make an excuse."
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"Oh. What did you say?"
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"I said you had a bleeding rectum,"
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"and that you were worried and scared,"
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"and you needed to talk to me alone,"
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"and you'd be embarrassed if she heard it."
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"Are you out of your fucking mind?"
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"-Well... -You couldn't think of a better excuse than that?"
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"You should have called me. I got thousands of 'em."
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"-I can't even face her now. -Why not?"
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"Nobody respects a person with a bleeding rectum."
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"You think Lincoln could have prosecuted a war"
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"if people knew he had a bleeding rectum?"
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"And by the way, when you come to the dinner party"
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"in a few days, I would not mention it."
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"No, I left it open."
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"Sorry to hear that."
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"Jon: I also-- Can I say,"
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"appetizer allotment at this point."
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"-My allotment? -Jon: Well, there's three of us."
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"-We each get a third. -Who makes up that fuckin' rule?"
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"Both: It's an unwritten rule."
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"Oh, my God."
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"There's two Larry Davids."
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"Pretty good."
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"Pretty, pretty good."
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"Both: Aah."
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"-She threw me out. -She threw you out?"
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"-Yep. Yep, yep, yep, yep. -Why?"
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"Well, she doesn't like the way I defended you being with Becky."
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"-Come on in. Make yourself at home. -I will."
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"-Where are you going? -I'm going to Becky's."
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"Oh. If you keep going to Becky's,"
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"I can't go home."
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"Keep going to Becky's."
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"-I'll see you later. -Bedroom's upstairs."
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"-Second one. -Got it."
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"♪ ♪"
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"(whistling)"
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"(clattering)"
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"No."
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"(both laughing)"
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"You didn't expect an airport drop-off, did you?"
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"-Nope. Nobody expects an airport drop-off anymore. -Ah? Airport drop-off."
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"-All right, well, have fun skiing. -I will."
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"-Yeah. -It's like an extra, unnecessary step."
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"-I'll find out if you're dead. -Yeah, yeah. You'll know."
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"-Yeah. -You got big plans for when I'm gone?"
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"I'm gonna help a friend out"
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"with his, uh, with his new business."
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"-Cool. -Yeah."
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"Leon: He told her you had a bleeding rectum?"
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"Yeah. Now I gotta walk around"
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"knowing this woman thinks I have a bleeding rectum."
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"I can't live like that."
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"she's gonna tell everybody."
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"And the worst part is,"
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"no one's ever gonna know that the bleeding stopped."
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"People are thinkin', how does he stop the bleedin'?"
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"Is he, is he a little boy, a little Dutch boy"
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"with his finger in his ass,"
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"with wooden shoes on, with socks to his knee,"
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"little shorts on, little vest, little top hat on,"
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"with his finger in your damn rectum?"
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"Hey. There's a parking lot."
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"-Woo, let's go. -Yeah, let's do it."
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"Can I help you guys?"
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"We got, uh, we got a little business proposition for you."
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"My name's Larry."
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"-Hey, Larry. -This is Leon."
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"-I'm Bill. -Here. Here you go, Bill."
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"-"Gotta Go"? -That's right."
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"You ever sit in that booth at this time of day"
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"and gotta go to the bathroom, what do you do?"
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"I just stay in the booth."
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"I can't go anywhere, just gotta hold it in."
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"Until now. For a dollar a minute,"
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