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Clips from Schitt's Creek - Honeymoon (S01E01)

"is not something your father and I can afford"
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"to negotiate at this moment."
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"Well, that's crazy,"
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"because all I want to negotiate right now"
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"is some podunk baby out of wedlock! So-"
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"Okay, hi. Hi!"
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"I don't wanna sound negative about this at all,"
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"but I think that you two really actually need to consider"
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"the idea of um... Getting a life."
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"Alexis, I would not concern yourself with your mother and me,"
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"because we have a flourishing social life here."
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"Walking over to the cafe and ordering a tuna melt"
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"is hardly what I would call a flourishing social life."
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"Oh, that's funny. That's funny."
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"Yeah, it's just that you're so involved"
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"in our lives right now,"
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"and that was fine when we were child actors for a little bit,"
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"but now David and I are grown up adults,"
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"- Suffocated. - Suffocated."
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"- Suffocated?! - Wait, stop, stop!"
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"We came in here to speak about you two!"
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"What could you possibly have to say now?"
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"Well, now I don't remember."
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"Oh my God! Thanks."
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"You know, the more I think about it,"
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"the more I wonder whether David's whole..."
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""Sexually adventurous" thing was just a phase."
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"It's not a phase."
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"Well, you know, he was very influenced in college,"
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"- all those haircuts. - It's not a phase, John!"
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"The kids are right,"
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"we've been talking about them far more than I care to do."
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"Why don't you join us?"
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"Moira, what're you doing?"
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"Attempting to be social, support me."
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"Of course."
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"- Hello! - Well!"
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"- Hello. - Hello."
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"Look at us, all being together!"
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"- Yes... - Jonathan and I were just saying,"
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"over for cocktails and charades tonight!"
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"Yes... Tonight."
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"We're having a huge party tonight at our place."
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"Ton of people coming to our house. Whoo!"
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"Oh yeah, big!"
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"But we're free any other night, other than tonight."
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"- Hey. - So, um..."
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"- That was just a... - Was a one time thing."
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"- That was a one time - Like a blip."
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"Just a blip... Just a blip blop. Just a..."
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"My sister said that she uh..."
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"- Yeah. - Yep, um..."
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"Okay, well I'm gonna leave from here,"
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"should I just come by your place,"
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"and get you when I'm done?"
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"That's like, a totally normal thing for us to do."
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"- So, cool! - Yeah, no, this is a good thing."
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"So I'll just um..."
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"I'll see you when you swing by, so..."
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"Yeah, I'll be-"
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"okay, all right, blippity blop. Blippity blip."
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"You're quiet today."
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"Am I?"
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"It's just that you're not talking,"
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"and it's annoying, because I'm bored."
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"Okay, you're being super sketchy and emo right now,"
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"what is going on?"
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"- where you find yourself cheating - Yes!"
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"With someone in your dreams?"
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"Oh, what?"
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"Oh. Um... you know that if it's in your dreams,"
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"Yeah well, it's been happening a lot lately,"
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"and then I look over and I see Twyla, and I feel bad."
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"Also, Ted is throwing a party tonight,"
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"maybe that's something exciting for you two to do together?"
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"That's probably not such a good idea."
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"Oh. Oh! Oh."
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"I'm sorry, what kind of event are you hosting this evening?"
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"Event!"
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"Oh, it's more of a soiree."
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"He's just teasing, it's our annual Hawaiian night."
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"Pineapples, pig on the spit, the whole nine yards."
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"Oh, you roast pigs?"
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"- We do! - Sure do."
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"We have a big one hanging in the garage."
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"Hm-hm."
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"Wow, it sounds like um... quite the evening."
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"Oh my goodness, well, um..."
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"We just didn't think that you and Johnny would wanna come, so..."
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"why would we not want to be involved"
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"in a themed party in your yard?"
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"Right."
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"Well, I mean, for one thing,"
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"you know, the two of you are a little..."
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"A little what?"
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"Hoity-toity."
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"All right, I've said it."
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"We didn't think that you'd wanna hang out with "regular people.""
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"Regular people are how Rose Video became such a-"
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"Regular people! I mean, they made us who we were-"
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"What am I trying to say?"
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"We love regular people."
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"W-we love regular people."
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"Well, by all means then, the two of you are invited."
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"So, just to be clear, um, I'm a red wine drinker."
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"- That's fine. - Okay, cool."
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"But uh, I only drink red wine."
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"Okay."
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"And up until last night I was under the impression"
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"that you too only drank red wine."
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"But I guess I was wrong?"
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"I see where you're going with this."
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"Um... I do drink red wine."
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"But I also drink white wine."
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"- Oh. - And I've been known to sample the occasional Rose."
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"And a couple summers back I tried a Merlot,"
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"that used to be a chardonnay."
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"- Uh-okay. - Which got a bit complicated."
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"I like the wine, and not the label."
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"Does that make sense?"
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