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Clips from Three's Company - Chrissy Come Home (S02E02)

"You know what was wrong with the garbage disposal?"
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"They never use it. They eat out all the time."
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"So? Some people like to enjoy themselves."
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"It's not against the rules,"
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"except around this apartment."
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"Nothing works well if you don't use it enough."
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"That's so true."
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"Of course, it would take a miracle to get some things..."
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"A miracle."
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"What are you doing? I'm praying."
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"Another one of your little digs, huh, Helen?"
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"[ Laughing ] ♪♪"
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"Oh, Stanley, remember when we used to go dancing?"
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"I don't wanna... Come on, Stanley. Here."
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"You pretend you're the man."
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"♪ Da, da, da, da ♪"
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"♪ Da, da, da... ♪♪ [ Groans ] Oh! Oh! Oh!"
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"What's the matter? My back just went out."
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"Oh! See, Stanley?"
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"[ Doorbell Rings ] When you don't use something enough..."
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"Ow. Oh. [ Music Stops ]"
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"[ Doorbell Rings ] Well, do something."
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"Hi, Mrs. Roper. Have you got a hammer? Hey, that's a good idea."
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"[ Sighs ] I don't know what it is,"
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"but whenever my father's around, I feel just like I did when I was a little girl."
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"Chrissy, come on, honey. You're not a little girl."
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"Yeah, you're right. I won't. Yeah."
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"Good. How do you think the room looks? I'd say about a "C" plus."
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"- [ Doorbell Rings ] - That's Jack."
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"He's always locking himself out."
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"Daddy! [ Laughing ]"
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"Oh, Daddy. You weren't supposed to be here till this afternoon."
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"I caught an earlier plane so we could spend a little more time together."
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"Oh, how nice. Isn't that nice, Janet?"
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"You remember Janet? Why, yes, of course."
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"- How nice to see you again, Janet. - Thank you. Hi."
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"And I seem to remember another girl. Um,"
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"Eleanor. Great girl."
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"Yeah, great. Yeah."
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"She doesn't live with us anymore. No. No more."
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"Oh, that's too bad. [ Chuckles ]"
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"She was a very nice girl. [ Mouthing Words ]"
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"Yeah, we do. Good."
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"Well, it sure is a beautiful day."
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"I hope it doesn't rain this weekend."
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"That always keeps the sinners at home. [ Both Chuckle ]"
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"Quit foolin' around. I'm gonna have to..."
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"Sorry. Wrong pew. No, no, no, no. Don't go."
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"Don't go. Stay. Stay, my boy."
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"Well, Chrissy, aren't you going to introduce me to your friend?"
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"Oh, yeah."
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"Oh, uh, Daddy, this is Jack Tripper."
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"Very pleased to meet you, Jack. Reverend Snow."
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"Oh! I'm sorry. I'm just doin' a little work. There's no need to apologize."
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"If it hadn't been for a carpenter, I wouldn't have a job."
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"[ All Laugh ]"
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"[ Laughing Excessively ]"
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"Too bad Mother couldn't come with you to visit."
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"Oh, you'll be seeing her soon enough."
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"You know, Chrissy, everybody back home..."
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"talks about you all the time."
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"I really do."
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"Wh-What did you mean that I'll be seeing Mother soon enough?"
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"Well, I'd like to take you back home with me."
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"Home? Yes. I figure you've had your little fling,"
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"and, you know, with your mother missing you so much..."
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"Oh, Daddy. Oh, I really like it here."
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"I mean, things have been really good for me here."
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"All right, Chrissy. I'm a fair man."
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"Just give me some time to see for myself..."
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"Uh, do you live nearby?"
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"Nearby? Oh, uh, yeah, you could call it that."
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"It's right... It's not far. It's just... It's fairly close."
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"- Oh. - Daddy, would you like some coffee?"
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"No, thank you. How close, Jack?"
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"Excuse me. I'll go get your coffee."
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"Oh! Oh, Jack, you gotta be careful."
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"You burned yourself last week on the water. Janet, don't worry about me."
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"I'm always cool under pressure."
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"Like what? [ Jack, Screaming ] Ow!"
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"- Like that. - Chrissy, Jack burned his hand on the water."
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"- Oh, where's the burn ointment? - Uh, I think it's still in my bedroom."
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"I'll get it."
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"- Your bedroom? - Well..."
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"[ Laughing ] Well, it's a bedroom in the sense that..."
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"'there's a room with a bed in it."
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"Just like the kitchen's a room with a "kitch" in it."
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"But, uh... See, um, when you say..."
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"How-How long have you been living here, Jack?"
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"Well, you mean... Is that a rhetor..."
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"[ Stammering ] You see... All right. Well, okay."
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"- Ever since we got married. - Married?"
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"- Honey? - Well."
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"I'm certainly very glad to hear you say that."
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"But, of course, I should have guessed."
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"Anyone can tell just by looking at you."
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"- They could? - Where were you married?"
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"We, uh... It was, uh... City Hall, I think."
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"City Hall? You mean you didn't get married by a man of the cloth?"
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"You know, there's still a few old-fashioned ministers around..."
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"Oh. Yeah. I suppose there are."
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"And I happen to be one of them."
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"Oh, well, Reverend..."
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"You see, Reverend Snow, one of these days,"
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"Now, I'm happy to hear you say that, Janet."
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"In that case, there's no need to wait."
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"Reverend Snow, you don't have to marry us. No. I think it's for the best."
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"No, sir. You're our guest. We don't want to put you to work."
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"Uh, Jack, "It is better to marry than to burn.""
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"Reverend Snow, it's just that we-we don't want you to go to all that trouble."
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"Oh, it's no trouble. In just a few minutes, it'll be all over."
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"That's what I'm afraid of."
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"Well, you see, what-what Jack means, sir,"
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"is that, uh, we just don't wanna put you out like that."
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"You must be tired after your long trip."
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"Oh, Fresno isn't that far. Chrissy!"
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"Don't touch the... I'll get your ointment."
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"Now all we need is another witness and we can get on with it."
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"Uh, a witness? There are no witnesses at this hour."
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"At 11:30 in the morning?"
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