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Clips from Glee - Trio (S05E05)

"instead of making her cervix"
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"snap shut like a barnacle"
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"by bombarding her with a barrage of pregnancy statistics."
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"Sue's got a point there, hon."
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"Oh, stop agreeing with me."
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"You don't know what you're talking about."
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"The only thing I can see you giving birth to"
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"is a bushel of russet potatoes."
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"You know, when Michael Bolton impregnated me,"
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"he called in a favor from his old friend Kenny G, who stood"
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"at the foot of our bed and serenaded us on soprano sax"
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"as Michael used every inch of his enormous,"
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"silky-smooth vocal range"
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"to soothe me into a state of relaxation so deep,"
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"it could only be described as religious."
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"I'm serious, Will."
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"I was looser than a Reno slot machine."
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"Punkin', it don't matter"
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"if you got a she-goat in heat."
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"You still gotta calm her down before you"
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"knock her up."
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"That's a saying where I come from."
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"And where do you come from?"
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"It seems like a dude ranch"
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"on a nuclear waste site."
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"What I mean is,"
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"if you're ready to get pregnant,"
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"you gotta make it real natural."
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"It'll take the pressure off of both of yous."
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"you got to stop trying."
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"Attention McKinley students. I have just"
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"been informed that the McKinley High Student Council"
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"has voted to approve the First Annual Senior Lock-In"
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"this weekend."
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"And I regret to inform you"
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"that I'm cancelling this event,"
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"due to budget cuts, safety concerns,"
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"and... oh, I don't know..."
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"let's say Obamacare."
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"Oh, Tina... oh, my gosh, are you okay?"
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"The lock-in was cancelled!"
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"Oh, Tina, why are you"
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"so worried about it? We just thought of that yesterday."
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"I know it would have been our first lock-in, Blaine,"
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"but it would have been our last lock-in,"
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"Blaine, and now, we don't have that at all!"
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"closer to never seeing each other ever again!"
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"Okay, okay, okay, okay, um, uh..."
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"How about this? How about... how about we, um, have"
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"- our own lock-in? Just the three of us? - Yeah."
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"How would we manage that?"
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"Easy. Here's what we'll do, okay?"
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"We'll climb in through one of the choir room windows."
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"We'll leave one unlocked,"
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"and no one will ever notice."
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"Yeah, how about it, Tina? What do you say?"
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"All right. Let's get you up."
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"- Let's get you out of here. - Okay."
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"Are your boobs getting bigger?"
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"Is it possible?"
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"Yes. Yes, they are, Sam."
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"Thank you. You're the best."
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"Lady Hummel, come here."
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"I need your tiny, delicate, elfin-like fingers"
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"to help me fasten this weave."
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"Ugh."
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"It's Elliott, actually."
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"And... that's a lot of hair."
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"I will take that as a compliment. Okay."
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"It's all a part of my master plan to psyche out Berry"
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"so I can play Fanny Brice."
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"First comes some amazing new hair,"
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"then, incredibly sexy rehearsal clothes,"
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"which she could never pull off,"
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"and then I'm gonna sneak into the theatre and tack up"
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"yearbook photos of her from sophomore year,"
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"when she was a chunky little butterball, just to remind her..."
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"hey, once a fatty, always a fatty."
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"God as my witness, I will break her down."
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"Oh, girl, this is so high school."
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"Okay, life is very high school,"
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"just with bigger stakes, and if you knew Berry"
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"the way that all of us did, you would be applauding me."
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"In the beginning, it's all sunshine"
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"and giggles and stickers, and then, the second"
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"that you want the same thing as her,"
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"a dark cloud comes over her whiskery little chin."
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"And she will chew you up"
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"and spit you out, like a Jewish Hillary Clinton."
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"You know, I... I'm actually just here to get her sheet music."
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"Do you know where she keeps it? Up her butt."
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"Seriously. She asked me to come here and pick it up, and,"
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"you know, she's moving into my apartment."
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"Whoa!"
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"Wait. Wh-Wh-What did you just say?!"
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"How could you do this to me?"
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"You are such a traitor!"
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"Well, A: I hardly know you,"
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"And B: she needed a place to stay, and I needed the money."
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"You need money? Well, yeah."
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"Huh. Well, maybe Auntie Snixx could help you out with that."
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"In a world on the verge of graduation,"
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"one hero stands against evil."
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"I, the Dark Feather."
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"Come on. Come on."
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"Nightbird."
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"Okay, you made this way more difficult than it needed to be?"
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"Oh."
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"Any excuse to put on that costume."
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"Well, it's the last chance I get to put it on,"
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"unless I'm in some kind of creepy fetish club."
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"Shh. Did you guys hear that? Hear what?"
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"Sound of an epic senior lock-in about to start?"
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"(Simple Minds' "Don't You"
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"Yes!"
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"♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪"
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"♪ Ooh... ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, oh ♪"
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"♪ Won't you come see about me? ♪"
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"♪ I'll be alone, dancing, you know it, baby ♪"
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"♪ Giving me everything inside and out and, uh ♪"
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