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Clips from Three's Company - Jack's Navy Pal (S02E02)

"Okay, over this way. Come on. Just a little bit more."
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"Here. Okay, down. There."
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"Ow! Ow! Okay, easy, easy."
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"I'll get an ice pack."
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"Why did you hit me this time?"
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"Oh, don't play innocent with me, Tripper."
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"You cost me my stripes. That's why."
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"- Me? - Yes, you."
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"Ensign Smith would never had known who hit him if you hadn't squealed to the captain."
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"- Me? - Yes, you!"
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"I finally figured that one out."
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"You gotta be crazy. I couldn't have squealed to the captain."
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"I was in sick bay all that week."
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"You were?"
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"You oughta remember. You're the one who put me there."
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"Oh, yeah!"
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"I sent you bouncing down those stairs, like a bowling ball."
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"Here you are, Jack!"
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"Oh, thank you, Chrissy, but I don't think that's gonna do much good."
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"Why not? He hit me on the jaw."
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"Oh. I'm sorry. Ow!"
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"Oh. Okay, look."
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"Now that you know that you were wrong, don't you have something to say?"
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"- So, I made a mistake. - A mistake?"
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"Yeah, Chrissy, he should have hit somebody else."
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"Why? He doesn't even know us."
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"Uh, look. Why don't you just apologize to Jack and leave?"
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"What, let "Jerk" be one up on me?"
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"- That's Jack. - He was always Jerk to me."
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"Okay, let's just forget the apology. How about leaving?"
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"- What? - Go on, you hit me."
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"You're crazy. I can't hit you."
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"Why not? You owe me, don't you?"
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"Well, yeah, but you're blind."
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"Now, you hit me, damn it. Just because I am blind..."
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"is no reason to treat me like a second-class citizen."
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"Hey, there's no way I'm gonna hit you."
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"And there's no way I'm gonna let a pantywaist like you be one up on me."
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"Now, I'm not leaving here until you hit me. [ Doorbell Rings ]"
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"Uh, that's the Ropers. Look."
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"I mean, listen, uh..."
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"We got guests, so would you mind leaving?"
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"Right after you hit me. Chrissy, try to get rid of him."
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"- You want me to hit him? - No!"
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"Look, uh, this is a very important dinner party. [ Doorbell Rings ]"
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"I am staying right here until Jack hits me. Oh, boy."
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"Hi. Uh, come on in. Oh, hi."
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"Hi, Janet. Oh, I didn't know you had company."
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"We don't. Uh, Mr. and Mrs. Roper, this is Jim Walsh."
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"Hi. How do you do?"
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"Hi."
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"He can't see."
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"[ Yells ] I'm very pleased to meet you!"
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"This is my wife, Mrs. Roper!"
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"I'm blind, not deaf."
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"Oh, I'm sorry."
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"Pleased to meet you."
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"I'm holding out my hand."
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"Are you a friend of Jack's?"
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"Yeah, we were in the navy together."
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"They let people like Jack in the navy?"
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"People like what?"
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"You know."
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"and he's tinkling with the other."
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"Well, la-di-da."
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"Not me... Jack!"
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"Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Roper. Dinner's almost ready. Why don't you sit down?"
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"We'll start on the salad, okay? Oh, all right."
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"Mr. Roper, right over here. Right over here, Mrs. Roper."
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"The table looks just lovely. You sit right here, okay?"
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"Oh, thank you, Jack."
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"Oh, isn't Mr. Walsh joining us?"
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"No, I'm just waiting for Jack to hit me."
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"What? We were playing blackjack earlier."
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"I don't see any cards. No, they're in the kitchen."
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"The kitchen. My lamb chops."
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"You know, I was just wondering if maybe you'd"
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"leave before you spoil Jack's dinner party."
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"Yeah, can't you tell when you're not wanted? What kind of friend are you?"
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"Hey, you broads really look out for him. Wait, we're not broads."
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"Oh, I beg your pardon. You ladies really look out for him, don't you?"
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"Well, of course. We're roommates."
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"You're roommates?"
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"You mean y'all three live together here?"
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"It's not what you think. Oh, yeah?"
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"Look, I may be blind, but I'm not blind."
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"No!"
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"Come on, Jack. You gonna take a poke at me or not?"
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"- What's he talking about? - Nothing. Nothing."
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"Eat your salad before it gets cold."
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"Jack, listen, you're gonna have to do something about Jim."
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"There's no way we can butter up Roper with him in the way."
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"Look, I'm busy with dinner. Can't you girls keep him occupied?"
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"I could show him around the apartment."
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"[ Mouthing Words ]"
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"I bet you got some great stories. Oh, yeah, I do."
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"Did you ever hear the one about the guy who's running down the street stark naked?"
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"Hold it! We don't wanna hear that one."
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"Speak for yourself, Stanley."
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"No, I'm talking about war stories. Where were you hurt?"
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"- Were you in Vietnam? - No, it was Arkansas."
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"Did we have a war in Arkansas?"
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"- No, I had a nice little business there. - What happened to it?"
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"My still blew up."
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"Oh, is that how you lost your sight?"
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"Oh, that's nice. I bet you can't wait to see us all."
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"You lose."
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"Hey, I got it. I got it. What?"
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"He can't see, right? So?"
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"So you just tell him that I left the apartment."
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"It won't work. Why not?"
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"Waah!"
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"It's no good, Jack. You can't sneak out on me."
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"I can smell you. All right. You're asking for it."
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"All right, come on. It's what I'm waiting for."
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"Oh, no. You're not gonna get me that way."
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"I'm not gonna leave here until you hit me."
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"Okay, we'll ignore you. You hear that?"
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"Just ignore him. Ignore him, everybody. Okay."
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"He's not here!"
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