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Clips from Bob's Burgers - Nice-Capades (S06E06)

"Or Mice Capades. No, no."
Bob's Burgers
"Spice Parade Capades."
Bob's Burgers
"Okay, so, no problem, we just need to put on a full-scale"
Bob's Burgers
"Ice Capades with singing and dancing tonight."
Bob's Burgers
"And costumes. I mean,"
Bob's Burgers
"that's a lot to do, but it's not like too much, right?"
Bob's Burgers
"Hard to tell, hard to tell."
Bob's Burgers
"Merry Christmas Eve Day."
Bob's Burgers
"Um, o-okay. Uh, thanks."
Bob's Burgers
"Aw. Well, open it. Oh, no."
Bob's Burgers
"You've never received a gift before."
Bob's Burgers
"You don't know what to do."
Bob's Burgers
"No, I-I know how to... I know what to do."
Bob's Burgers
"Just rip it open with your weird grizzly hands, Dad."
Bob's Burgers
"I don't think Dad's weird grizzly hands are that weird."
Bob's Burgers
"It's just got a lot of tape on it."
Bob's Burgers
"Right! It's for putting your rent checks in."
Bob's Burgers
"I thought perhaps that's what was holding you back?"
Bob's Burgers
"It's the stuff that goes in them. The money."
Bob's Burgers
"Hey, uh, Mr. Fischoeder."
Bob's Burgers
"Own the mall? No. Damn it."
Bob's Burgers
"I own a minority share of a holding company"
Bob's Burgers
"Uh, no, but you know that little ice rink"
Bob's Burgers
"across from Santa's Village? The Rinky Dink."
Bob's Burgers
"I named it after my dink. It's very rinky. Hmm."
Bob's Burgers
"Well, we need to borrow the rink to put on a little show tonight"
Bob's Burgers
"Oh. With singing and dancing"
Bob's Burgers
"and skating and lights and skating."
Bob's Burgers
"And music by this mammajamma."
Bob's Burgers
"into letting you use the Rinky Dink for, say,"
Bob's Burgers
"the last half hour that the mall's open."
Bob's Burgers
"You get three minutes. I need five."
Bob's Burgers
"We'll kill the mic after four, and I'm not joking."
Bob's Burgers
"Deal. And my brother Felix will accompany me."
Bob's Burgers
"Oh, like a duet?"
Bob's Burgers
"Uh... no."
Bob's Burgers
"All right, we got our ice time and one ice skater-dancer."
Bob's Burgers
"You know, if you need more skaters, there's some guys"
Bob's Burgers
"We're the Mighty Schmucks."
Bob's Burgers
"Great. Gene, how's the music coming?"
Bob's Burgers
"Good stuff. Tina... lyrics."
Bob's Burgers
"I flipped it over, and it went back into the ocean."
Bob's Burgers
"and it's gonna be that crab. I know."
Bob's Burgers
"Yeah, that's a sweet thing you did,"
Bob's Burgers
"but it's not nearly enough."
Bob's Burgers
"It's not? No."
Bob's Burgers
"Like ratchet it up how?"
Bob's Burgers
"But that's not the truth. Screw the truth."
Bob's Burgers
"We can spin that. Gene, how about you?"
Bob's Burgers
"is like having a birthday once a week..."
Bob's Burgers
"And I had to eat burned chicken nuggets."
Bob's Burgers
"There are no presents if we don't"
Bob's Burgers
"make a big splash here, people."
Bob's Burgers
"And I don't know about you, but I asked Santa"
Bob's Burgers
"for something big this year. Big."
Bob's Burgers
"I got lots of stuff. You do?"
Bob's Burgers
"I do. I mean, I will. Some of the nicest stuff"
Bob's Burgers
"anyone's ever done is what I'm gonna sing about."
Bob's Burgers
"I'm glad you're still open. I just need a few things."
Bob's Burgers
"You hear that, Harold? He just needs a few things."
Bob's Burgers
"Oh, don't we all."
Bob's Burgers
"Okay, um, do you have fabric glue?"
Bob's Burgers
"Do we? I forget."
Bob's Burgers
"Right, uh, well, that makes sense, because I'm the customer."
Bob's Burgers
"No. Because it's Christmas Eve."
Bob's Burgers
"And there's nothing you can do about it,"
Bob's Burgers
"because it's Christmas Eve, and you need felt."
Bob's Burgers
"But you can't wait till then, can you, Chubs?"
Bob's Burgers
"No problem for me. Coming off a hell of a Hanukkah, right, guys?"
Bob's Burgers
"Great. Now, let's go out there and convince that judgy red man"
Bob's Burgers
"that the Belchers are good kids."
Bob's Burgers
"Are we all ready?"
Bob's Burgers
"Almost. I'm not fully squeezed into my..."
Bob's Burgers
"I'm not exactly comfortable with the whole lying part."
Bob's Burgers
"Yeah, I mean, we didn't really do the stuff"
Bob's Burgers
"Do you want presents or what? Huh?"
Bob's Burgers
"No, we do. Right. Right."
Bob's Burgers
"That's what I thought. Cue the music. Lights!"
Bob's Burgers
"Oh, it's starting!"
Bob's Burgers
"Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls,"
Bob's Burgers
"welcome to the Nice Capades:"
Bob's Burgers
"An evening of warm and generous acts."
Bob's Burgers
"And a warm-up act... the Brothers Fischoeder."
Bob's Burgers
"♪ So let's open that bottle of liquor ♪"
Bob's Burgers
"♪ Take me back ♪"
Bob's Burgers
"'Cause we are gonna rock this mall Santa's world."
Bob's Burgers
"Um... Rock it hard."
Bob's Burgers
"Uh... Louise? What?!"
Bob's Burgers
"As you can see by the sign, Santa's gonna be right back."
Bob's Burgers
"This unhelpful elf knows"
Bob's Burgers
"where mall Santa is,"
Bob's Burgers
"Look, he had to attend to some personal business."
Bob's Burgers
"Okay, Santa's pooping. No, he's..."
Bob's Burgers
"Santa's not pooping."
Bob's Burgers
"But the mall closes in 20 minutes."
Bob's Burgers
"He's got to see our show, or we don't get presents."
Bob's Burgers
"Louise, stay here in case he comes back."
Bob's Burgers
"No, no, no, we want a big happy crowd"
Bob's Burgers
"Say somewhere good, someplace funny."
Bob's Burgers
"Say... Nantucket."
Bob's Burgers
"where'd you get that hat? Your mom?"
Bob's Burgers
"That's how you do crowd work."
Bob's Burgers
"Santa. Santa!"
Bob's Burgers
"Yeah. Yeah. We found you."
Bob's Burgers
"My lap is not as strong as it used to be."
Bob's Burgers
"Bring back that rent-a-beard!"
Bob's Burgers
"Sounds like your kids have put in a lot of work."
Bob's Burgers
"So will you come with us now?"
Bob's Burgers
"so much more shopping to do."
Bob's Burgers
"Oh, Bob could get something for your nephew."
Bob's Burgers
"I could?"
Bob's Burgers
"That would be great. It would?"
Bob's Burgers
"All right, come on, let's go, Santa."
Bob's Burgers
"Wait. What's he into? Your nephew."
Bob's Burgers
"Well, so, like, is he into sports, or..."
Bob's Burgers
"Did you say, was he into calendars?"
Bob's Burgers
"I did. Yeah. I don't know."
Bob's Burgers
"I'll do better. Don't worry. I'll get him something good."
Bob's Burgers
"So the nurse says, "Rectum? I damn near killed him!""
Bob's Burgers
"Well, those are all the clean jokes I know."
Bob's Burgers
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