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Clips from Friends - The One with the Baby Shower (S08E08)

"-...you've been Bamboozled. - No!"
Friends
"- Yes! - This is the best game ever!"
Friends
"So, um, you're gonna stay with me as long as I need you?"
Friends
"- Of course I am. - Mom, I swear I'm not an idiot."
Friends
"I read all kinds of books on pregnancy and giving birth."
Friends
"But I just didn't think to read the part about what to do when the baby comes."
Friends
"And, guess what, the baby's coming..."
Friends
"...and I don't know what to do. Oh, can I throw up in my Diaper Genie?"
Friends
"Oh, sweetie, you're gonna be fine."
Friends
"Now, don't worry. Everything's gonna be okay."
Friends
"It is gonna be okay."
Friends
"- Hey. PHOEBE: Hey."
Friends
"Why are you all red and sweaty?"
Friends
"Which is not a sexual thing."
Friends
"- Well, that was a quick shower. - Not if you were here."
Friends
"Wow, looks like we got a lot of good stuff."
Friends
"We did. But my mom got us the greatest gift of all."
Friends
"No. She's going to live with us for eight weeks."
Friends
"What?"
Friends
"Yes. She's gonna help us take care of the baby. Woo-hoo."
Friends
"I mean, she's a very nice woman..."
Friends
"- She'll drive us totally crazy-- - Hi, Ross."
Friends
"Hey, Joey, hi, I'm Ray. I'm the producer of the show."
Friends
"[IN EMBELLISHED VOICE] It's a pleasure to meet you, Ray."
Friends
"And this is Duncan and Erin. They're gonna help out with the audition."
Friends
"- Righty-0, Ray. - Whenever you're ready."
Friends
"Hello. I'm Joey Tribbiani. Let's play Bamboozled."
Friends
"Erin, you get the first question. In hockey, who is known as "The Great One"?"
Friends
"- Wayne Gretzky. - Correct."
Friends
"Now, would you like to pick a Wicked Wango Card or spin the Wheel of Mayhem?"
Friends
"Uh, Joey, didn't your agents give you the revised rules?"
Friends
"We've eliminated all that. No wheel. No cards."
Friends
"[IN NORMAL VOICE] What? Why?"
Friends
"Well, the game was too complicated and research showed people didn't follow it."
Friends
"What's complicated? You spin the Wheel of Mayhem to go up the Ladder of Chance..."
Friends
"...past the Mud Hut through the Rainbow Ring to get to the Golden Monkey."
Friends
"You yank his tail, and boom, you're in Paradise Pond."
Friends
"Yeah. All that's gone."
Friends
"Um, it's basically just a simple question-and-answer game now."
Friends
"Well, what's fun about that?"
Friends
"You expect me to be the host of a boring game..."
Friends
"...that's just people standing around answering questions?"
Friends
"Well, there'll be women in bikinis holding up the scores."
Friends
"And all those dinosaur knickknacks you have..."
Friends
"...Ross, I thought they might be more at home in the garage."
Friends
"- Well, we don't have a garage. - Did I say garage? I meant garbage."
Friends
"You know what, Mrs. Green? Maybe it's not absolutely vital that you live with us."
Friends
"- Well, Rachel needs help with the baby. - I do. I really do. I don't know anything."
Friends
"I'm sure that's not true."
Friends
"Oh, no? Pheebs, Monica, do I know anything about babies?"
Friends
"- Nope. Not a thing. - Mm-mm. It's frightening."
Friends
"Well, um, you know what? Even if she doesn't know anything, I do."
Friends
"I have a son. His mother and I didn't live together."
Friends
"Whenever he was with me, I took care of him all the time, by myself."
Friends
"- That's true. You do have another child. - Yeah."
Friends
"With another woman."
Friends
"Have you no control, Ross?"
Friends
"Um, the point is, when the baby comes, I will be there to feed her..."
Friends
"...and bathe her and change her."
Friends
"And more than that, I want to do all those things."
Friends
"Well, then you don't need me to live with you."
Friends
"Yes. You're gonna be so missed."
Friends
"You're gonna be a great father."
Friends
"Hello? I still don't know what the hell I'm doing."
Friends
"Come on, every first-time mother feels that way."
Friends
"You're gonna pick it up. Hey, you will. Look, when you first came to the city..."
Friends
"...you were this spoiled, helpless little girl..."
Friends
"...who still used Daddy's credit cards, remember?"
Friends
"I hope you're going somewhere with this."
Friends
"Look at you. You're this big executive."
Friends
"You are much more capable than you give yourself credit for."
Friends
"I have no doubt you're gonna be an incredible mother."
Friends
"- Really? - I'm telling you."
Friends
"Thank you."
Friends
"All right, you two. I'm gonna get going."
Friends
"ROSS: Oh. - Oh, no, sweetheart, you stay put."
Friends
"[LAUGHS]"
Friends
"You're just so funny. You're so funny. What do I do?"
Friends
"Nothing. You have apologized to her like a million times."
Friends
"And she's been nothing but terrible to you."
Friends
"And don't forget, you just threw her daughter..."
Friends
"...a lovely, albeit slightly boring, shower."
Friends
"- And she hasn't even thanked you for it. - You know what? You're right."
Friends
"Yeah, I mean, if you wanna say anything to her, I'd tell her off."
Friends
"- Really? - Uh-huh."
Friends
"Okay, I will."
Friends
"Mrs. Green?"
Friends
"It is rude to leave a party without saying goodbye to the host."
Friends
"...the decent thing to do is to accept it."
Friends
"Because what I did to you, it wasn't on purpose."
Friends
"But what you're doing to me now is plain spiteful."
Friends
"- Spiteful? MONICA: That's right."
Friends
"Old lady."
Friends
"Lady."
Friends
"So whenever you're ready to apologize to me, I will forgive you. Good day."
Friends
"I can't feel my legs."
Friends
"You were fantastic. I'm so proud of you."
Friends
"- Yeah? I'm proud of me too. - You should be."
Friends
"- Could you get me something to drink? - You got it."
Friends
"Mrs. Green? Okay, I'm really sorry. I apologize. If you just-- Aah!"
Friends
"MONICA [LISPING]: Okay. I bit my tongue."
Friends
"But I'm still really sorry."
Friends
"Yes. I've done my studying, and I really know my stuff."
Friends
"All right, then."
Friends
"Rachel Green, let's play Bamboozled."
Friends
"How do you test the temperature of the baby's bathwater?"
Friends
"- How do you put a baby down for a nap? - Full, dry, on its back, and no loose covers."
Friends
"That's correct."
Friends
"This is an audio question. What do you do when a baby makes this sound:"
Friends
"[MIMICS BABY CRYING]"
Friends
"Uh, check if it's wet, check if it's hungry, burp it."
Friends
"- A card. A card. I pick a card. - Oh, I'm sorry."
Friends
"You've been Bamboozled. You're gonna be a terrible mother."
Friends
"I've lost sight of why we're doing this."
Friends
"Oh. Actually, I'm not gonna use a nanny. And, uh, I don't even have a housekeeper."
Friends
"Oh, come on, Ross. I think we're all losers here."
Friends
"[English - US - SDH]"
Friends
"- What is the capital of Colombia? - Bogoté."
Friends
"Yes!"
Friends
"- Oh, hello, Monica. MONICA: Hi."
Friends
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