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Clips from The Big Bang Theory - The Roommate Transmogrification (S04E04)

"- Ha-ha-ha! - Yeah, ha, ha!"
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"Yo, I'll solve it"
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"Open the landing bay doors, shuttlecraft approaching."
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"She's kidding, right?"
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"- All right. - Now push your third finger..."
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"I can see how that would be upsetting. Come in."
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"Why? He's in my bed, why can't I be in his?"
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"In the event of a power outage..."
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"He made me sign a waiver, participate in an emergency fire drill..."
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"I'm proud of her. And secondly, I have my own career."
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"A modified roommate agreement for a temporary house guest."
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"- Did you sign this? - There's a reciprocity clause."
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"FYI, part of your responsibilities as roommate pro tem..."
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"Tonight is Thai food."
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"Leonard and Priya are living together. That's big."
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"Per our roommate agreement, kindly refrain from raucous laughter..."
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"You watch Leonard put up with that guy for years and years."
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""Oh, Krishna, I've got to get me some of that"?"
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"We've been through this, it's not time."
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"That is a beautiful tapestry."
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"Oh, God."
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"What are you doing here?"
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"I have paperwork that says differently."
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"- Priya's going back to India. - Irrelevant."
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"Why?"
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"It's not what it looks like. No."
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"- Hey, you guys ready to order? - Sure."
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"- Okay, Priya. - I'll have the Shepherd's Pie."
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"- You want to split that with me? - Oh, no, no, no, he doesn't."
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"Why not?"
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"Milk in the taters, milk in the gravy, Parmesan crust."
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"Your lactose-intolerant boyfriend will turn into a gas-filled Macy's Day balloon."
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"Sea bass. I'll have the sea bass."
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"You gotta like this."
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"The girlfriend and the ex-girlfriend bonding over your rooty-tooty stinky booty."
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"- Kill me. - It wouldn't help."
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"The human body is capable of being flatulent for hours after death."
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"Hey, guys, sorry I'm late. I have amazing news."
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"Bernadette, before you change the subject..."
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"...does anyone have any final comments on Leonard's faulty digestive system?"
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"So, what's your news, Bernadette?"
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"The thesis committee accepted my doctoral dissertation."
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"I'm getting my PhD."
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"- Oh, congratulations. - Oh!"
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"Wow! So that means you're a doctor, you're a doctor..."
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"...you're a doctor, you're a doctor."
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"And, Howard, you know a lot of doctors."
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"- Congratulations, honey. - Thank you."
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"So, Howard, tell us, how's it feel knowing that when you two get married..."
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"...you'll be referred to as Mr. And Dr. Wolowitz?"
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"Unless he takes Bernadette's last name."
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"And considering her status, that could open doors for him."
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"Please, this isn't about me."
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"- I'm proud of you. - Well, you'll really be proud of this."
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"I was headhunted by a big pharmaceutical company."
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"They're gonna pay me a buttload of money."
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"What?"
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"Bernadette, that's great."
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"Howard, do you make a buttload?"
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"Better than what you've got a buttload of."
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"If I roll down the windows in the car, everything's peachy."
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"If you do it, you're still not a doctor."
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"Yeah, just a heads-up on the car window deal."
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"It helps, but everything is not peachy."
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"Oh, if there was a problem"
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"Check out the hook While my DJ revolves it"
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"Ice ice baby"
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"Ice ice baby"
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"Oh, God, I feel ridiculous in this dress."
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"You look beautiful, Lieutenant Uhura."
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"Now prepare for inspection."
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"My brother's going to hear you."
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"Oh, relax, he's got headphones on."
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"And we're 10 miles above Earth in a starship."
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"Really, 10 miles? You're orbiting inside the atmosphere?"
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"Moron."
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"I can't believe I'm wearing my brother's Halloween costume."
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"I can't believe you think he only wears it on Halloween."
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"Okay, gotta go."
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"Hey, what's up?"
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"Is that my future daughter-in-law, the doctor?"
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"No, Ma, it's Raj!"
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"- He's a doctor too, right? - Yes!"
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"Like Leonard and the skinny weirdo?"
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"Sheldon, yes. Everybody's a doctor but me!"
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"Well, whose fault is that?"
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"Wha...?"
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"What's up?"
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"Leonard's putting disgusting memories in my memory-foam mattress."
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"- Can I stay here tonight? - Uh..."
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"Well, sure, but I'm going out with Bernadette."
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"- It'll just be you and my mother. - I guess that's okay."
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"Ma, can Rajesh sleep over?"
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"Of course. He and I can play doctor."
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"I don't know. She's pretty feisty since they put her on hormone replacement therapy."
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"I must say, Amy, I was very impressed to see that Bernadette got her PhD."
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"It's indeed admirable."
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"Although, it is microbiology."
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"Your doctorate is in neurobiology. I fail to see the distinction."
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"I'll make it simple for you."
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"Bernadette studies yeast, the organism responsible for Michelob Light."
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"- Is there something wrong with your neck? - It's a little stiff."
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"What a remarkably fragile structure to support such a valuable payload."
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"Have you considered massage?"
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"I'd like to respond to that sarcastically."
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"Yes, I relish the thought of a stranger covering my body with oil and rubbing it."
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"I was proposing you massage your muscles with your own hands."
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"Still sounds like a lot of unnecessary touching."
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"Trust me. With your right hand, locate the spot..."
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"...where the scapula meets the acromion process."
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"...along the ridge of the shoulder blade, making a small rotation as you do so."
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"Rotating."
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"You should feel a small node-like object rolling back and forth along the bone."
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"- You mean the myofascial point? - Obviously."
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"Now, bear down on it..."
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"...like the seventh-grade noogies we all know too well."
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"Oh, dear Lord. Yes, yes. Oh, yes."
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"Amy, I've never been touched like this before."
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"Ah! Oh, my hands are magic."
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"Don't flatter yourself."
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