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Clips from South Park (1997) (S21E21)

"Mr. Marsh, please,"
South Park (1997)
"We want to be absolutely sure"
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"of what we found."
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"Wait! Wait!"
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"Mr. Marsh, we were hoping to do a more precise test."
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"It's better for harder cases like this,"
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"Give me.. tw-- three minutes."
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"if you don't mind."
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"All right, it's clear. Bring him in."
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"Move your ass, Galtman!"
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"This is a violation of my rights."
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"Just shut up and watch"
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"what someone posted on their Instagram!"
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"If you want me to look at the Internet, I will die first."
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"It's fake news."
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"That's why we had it transferred to VHS."
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"Take off his blindfold."
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"Get off my land, you piece of shit!"
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"Don't post that."
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"Hmm."
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"Oh, Mr. Marsh."
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"Good. What are you up to?"
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"Chillin', chillin'."
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"Would you like to go over them?"
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"Oh, you did? Oh, great."
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"Sure. Why not? I'm here."
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"Let's, uh... Let's do that."
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"Man: All right, Mr. Marsh,"
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"No, we didn't find any trace"
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"of any Native American DNA in your test..."
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"But as you can see here, we found"
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"your standard Caucasian British person."
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"[ Sighs ]"
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"And you might be interested to know"
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"Neanderthal?"
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"What the hell is that about?"
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"that was wiped out by homo sapiens."
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"Wiped out... all of my people?"
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"Yes, but you see, because of some cross breeding,"
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"were raped and then eradicated by you --"
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"So your ancestors just got rid of them, huh?!"
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"Well, well. Mr. Marsh."
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"Oh, God!"
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"Don't worry."
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"Who the hell is that?"
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"Yeah, sure, everyone gang up on the Neanderthal!"
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"Isn't it funny?!"
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"Randy, you must face who you are."
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"Stop pretending, Randy."
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"It's only now, when everyone's being so indigenous to me,"
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"That I realize how indigenous I've been acting all along."
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"I thought being a victim would solve all my problems."
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"It's time for us all to be honest."
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"But holidays are also meant to be a time to reflect."
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"that the school calendar committee"
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"[ Cheers and applause ]"
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"say what we're really thinking so we can move on."
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"And so, the second Monday of October"
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"it will be for ripping on each other"
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"we won't be so indigenous the rest of the year."
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"let's all embrace the new meaning of the holiday"
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"starting right now."
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"Do you even know"
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"Who the hell let this guy talk to the school counsel?"
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"Come on, everyone!"
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"Woman: Shut up, and get off the podium!"
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"Okay. I will in a second, fatso."
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"Come on! Get it out of your system!"
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"Happy Indigenous Peoples Day, everyone."
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"Suck my asshole."
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"Get off my land, you piece of shit!"
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"Don't post that."
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"♪ Come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine ♪"
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"Dude, what the hell is going on?"
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"You can't take away a day off."
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"I realize this is"
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"Mr. Randy Marsh."
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"[ Door closes ] I got to go."
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"Reporter: Christopher Columbus --"
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"Or was he just a douche?"
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"So it came as a surprise"
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"I'm joined now by the man who did the actual defecating,"
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"has been an icon here in the city for years."
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"I'm the one who's indigenous that this landmark even exists!"
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"Hey, guys."
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"but her boobs were sweaty so you could see them."
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"♪♪"
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"If you hate Columbus so much,"
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"that I'm actually 4.2% Cherokee Indian."
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"I'm also part Northern Asian, and even some Kurdish!"
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"I'm 21% victim."
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"[ Chatter continues"
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"All right, everybody! Hey, thanks for coming."
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"Shh! Mprphph mhprphm!"
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"Sharon, do you know what they'll do to us"
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"when they find out how stoked we were on Columbus?"
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"That's you right there,"
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"Thank you. Lo-Lovely flowers. Thank you."
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"[ Telephone rings ]"
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"[ Vocalizing ]"
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"Randy, I cannot quit you."
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"Don't post that."
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"They need a break!""
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"Because in 1492, Columbus got us all a day off school."
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"Come on, guys."
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"[ Urinating ]"
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"Get over here!"
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"Yes, I understand."
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"Do it again? That's not fair."
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"[ Whispering ] Hey, where'd you go?"
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"I most certainly will not!"
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"a mix of a few things in your regional ancestry."
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"Well, the Neanderthals were actually a species"
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"Neanderthal DNA."
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"Isn't that interesting?"
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"For once, just allow yourself to feel."
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"[ Sighs ]"
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"Today, I'm happy to announce"
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"But instead of glorifying anyone,"
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"let us make it a holiday"
South Park (1997)
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