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Clips from The Simpsons - Havana Wild Weekend (S28E28)

"Oh, it wasn't the dog."
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"I went on the rug."
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"- What? - Huh?"
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"Grampa,"
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"is everything all right?"
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"I'm 86 years old and I'm falling apart"
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"like toast in a dishwasher."
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"Oh, you poor man."
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"Sit down here and relax."
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"(GROANS)"
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"Geez, Dad, you really have lost a step."
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"Can't you at least enjoy Shark Tank..."
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"I mean, Vulture's Nest?"
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"We're paying the finest nursing home in town."
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"They'll know what to do."
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"We have no idea what to do."
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"We specialize in keeping seniors"
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"from bothering their families,"
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"then gently releasing them just before death."
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"God bless, Mr. Simpson."
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"and there's no way you can help?"
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"We do offer free transportation"
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"to the next stage."
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"(TIRES SCREECHING)"
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"(HOMER SIGHING WORRIEDLY)"
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"Come on, Grampa."
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"You're not staying on skid row."
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"Yeah, that's shameful,"
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"shoving poor old people out on the street."
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"This place is for the mentally ill."
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"(YELLING INCOHERENTLY)"
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"Hey! What are you..."
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"Uh, get better! (CHUCKLES)"
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"Well, we're not beaten yet."
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"Grampa, you're a veteran of every branch of the service."
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"The VA hospital will help."
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"Aren't those hospitals the ones they called"
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""America's shame"?"
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"A lot of things are America's shame, honey."
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"(CATS WAILING)"
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"(BARNEY MOANING)"
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"Mr. Simpson?"
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"Yes?"
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"Uh, this is just the waiting room."
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"Oh..."
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"Well, don't worry, the veteran's administration"
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"I can see him in five minutes."
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"(HOMER AND MARGE SIGH WITH RELIEF)"
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"23 years from now."
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"(GROANING) Hey, soldier."
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"at no cost?"
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"I know the place."
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"Tell it to me in an anecdote."
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"Years ago,"
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"I saw action in the Bay of Pigs."
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"Bay of Pigs, eh?"
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"(PIGS SNORTING)"
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"(CHOMPS) (PIG SQUEALING)"
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"Er, have you seen Marilyn Monroe?"
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"I'm asking, for, uh, for a friend."
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"Yes, a, uh... Er, uh..."
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"a friend. Don't, uh, tell Ethel."
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"Mmm."
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"Those Cuban doctors patched me up good,"
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"and for a lot less."
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"How much less?"
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"Well, what costs $2,000 here"
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"costs six bucks there."
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"Ah, Cuba sounds a little dangerous."
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"Why don't we try Canada?"
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"now that that commie Trudeau is in charge."
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"You got it, Dad."
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"Nurse, cancel our appointment."
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"I'm sorry, there's a fee"
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"- if you don't cancel within 24 years. - D'oh!"
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"(HORN BLOWING, BIRD SCREECHING)"
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"D'oh!"
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"Grampa, can't you enjoy the Caribbean breeze?"
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"Not while I suspect"
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"- Huh? Wh...? - Hmm?"
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"- Ah-ah? Ah-ah? - Hmm?"
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"No. We're not."
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"And we'll have fun when we get there."
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"We can have plantains."
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"They're like bananas you have to cook. Yum."
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"Cooked bananas are too hard for me to chew."
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"D'oh!"
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"Well, don't forget Cuba's vibrant jazz scene."
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"Lisa, thanks for the warning."
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"Despite what she says, this trip will be fun."
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"I am finally gonna put the Spanish I learned"
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"on I Love Lucy to use."
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"(À LA RICKY RICARDO): Oh, Loo-sey, you need to see a "fee-sa-kia-trist.""
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"We are perfectly able to pronounce "psychiatrist.""
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"Now, please don't make me 'splain it to you again."
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"Come on, Rick. The girls are dressed up like men,"
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"trying to get into the cigar store."
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"So you know what we do, Fred?"
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"We give them cigars."
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"(LAUGHING): All the cigars they want."
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"(LAUGHING): This will be good."
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"I'll never understand why a bandleader"
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"was such good friends with his landlord."
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"(CUBAN MUSIC PLAYS)"
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"Now, there are 12 types of visits to Cuba"
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"that are legally permitted."
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"- U.S. business... - Next."
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"Professional research..."
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"I don't know what either of those words mean."
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"Educational activities..."
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"Those words I know and hate."
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"Family visit..."
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"Is there a VIP entrance to this place?"
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"Religious activities..."
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"(LAUGHING): God, no."
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"- Public performances... - Never."
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"Is that that weird lettuce?"
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"Here to smuggle cigars..."
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"Many times, not today."
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"Transmission of information..."
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