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Clips from Scrubs - My Missed Perception (S05E05)

"But I still got there in time to steal the guard's Arts & Leisure section."
Scrubs
"Around here, everyone has some sort of morning ritual."
Scrubs
"Getting help on the word jumble from your dyslexic tracheotomy patient..."
Scrubs
"T-P-l-P-O-E."
Scrubs
"Save your voice, Marsha. Mmm. Save it."
Scrubs
"[Squeaks]"
Scrubs
"Damn it, you better find it! Physical therapy tubs don't disappear!"
Scrubs
"Or, for some, just a relaxing afternoon soak on the roof."
Scrubs
"Try and get in here in that thing, I'll give you a four-story atomic wedgie."
Scrubs
"you become a lifetime member of the danger club."
Scrubs
"Check this chart. Guy says he's been in pain for three months."
Scrubs
"For doctors, pain is complicated."
Scrubs
"Every patient handles it differently, depending on their race..."
Scrubs
"... or even their sex life."
Scrubs
"Yep, you're a seven."
Scrubs
"What? I totally beat Lisa!"
Scrubs
"and tell him or her you're mine this weekend."
Scrubs
"Now, I know he's homeless"
Scrubs
"and smells like an obese man's two-sie."
Scrubs
"Guys, if I give you a patient,"
Scrubs
"And P.S., Mr. Jenkins is a Vietnam vet."
Scrubs
"Get out of here!"
Scrubs
"- seeing as I admitted her. - And I treated her last night."
Scrubs
"I was a preemie."
Scrubs
"and I cannot find any medical reason for your pain."
Scrubs
"- She pawned him off. - I've called a surgical consult."
Scrubs
"[Both scream]"
Scrubs
"I'm sure you all got the flier I made reminding everyone of the staff picture."
Scrubs
"I need to know by a show of hands"
Scrubs
"Aren't you guys embarrassed by our last three staff pictures?"
Scrubs
"- And I know we love each other. - Love's all we've got!"
Scrubs
"- Tambourine's a little much. - Carla, I don't photograph well."
Scrubs
"The kitchen fire of '97, the kitchen fire of '98,"
Scrubs
"The bottom line, not gonna happen."
Scrubs
"# Not gonna happen! No, not gonna happen!"
Scrubs
"You'll be there. You'll all be there."
Scrubs
"If you're wondering what a "Thank you for being my doctor" card looks like,"
Scrubs
"Oops. This one's for my Aunt Judy and her lady friend."
Scrubs
"I mean, "Yay for me! I mixed two drinks together.""
Scrubs
"- How's it going today? - Crappy."
Scrubs
"OK. Elliot turfed this chronic pain patient to me."
Scrubs
"[J.D.] I always wondered what exploratory surgery was like."
Scrubs
"I'm going in."
Scrubs
"Nurse, hat!"
Scrubs
"I got paged there was a donut truck out here."
Scrubs
"Where's the booby-touching booth?"
Scrubs
"Bucket of combs!"
Scrubs
"Nobody move! Laverne, door!"
Scrubs
"OK, everybody. One, two..."
Scrubs
"What are you doing here?"
Scrubs
"Why did that sweaty attorney ask me if my affairs were in order?"
Scrubs
"- What are you talking about? - Now, I'm going to stand."
Scrubs
"He's tried to kill before."
Scrubs
"It can mean, "I'm giving up on you.""
Scrubs
"It can mean you're not sorry at all."
Scrubs
"What?"
Scrubs
"I find this highly unprofessional."
Scrubs
"Now, I'm going to check on Mr. Jenkins, your war hero."
Scrubs
"Aww, either your picture didn't come out, or we're full of vampire doctors."
Scrubs
"- How? - Because it's always you."
Scrubs
"Who the hell put tiny wheels on my shoes?"
Scrubs
"That's his fault. He took a nap in the lounge."
Scrubs
"I actually love these."
Scrubs
"So Dr. Acula is a doctor and a vampire?"
Scrubs
"He's both. And at the very end,"
Scrubs
"Um, thank you for telling me what I already know, Turk."
Scrubs
"First one to chug their Slushee is off the hook. Come on! Here we go!"
Scrubs
"[Screams]"
Scrubs
"and he was in too much pain to get up and use the bathroom,"
Scrubs
"How do you explain that?"
Scrubs
"Probably not."
Scrubs
"[Grunting]"
Scrubs
"I heard Mrs. Wilk gave you the axe."
Scrubs
"She said, "I've led a great life,""
Scrubs
"for some homemade jambalaya."
Scrubs
"- I know they say 57 is the new 40... - Who?"
Scrubs
"I was in the mall hanging out at Brookstone"
Scrubs
"Brookstone. Were you looking for gadgets, sir?"
Scrubs
"It's not like somebody poos their pants for no reason."
Scrubs
"- Turk did that in college on a bet. - Carla did not know that story."
Scrubs
"- [Thunder rumbling] - [Wind howling]"
Scrubs
"Mrs. Wilk, I just wanted to say I was wrong"
Scrubs
"You got a lot of pluck for an older gal."
Scrubs
"Thank you."
Scrubs
"The important thing is to regain the respect of your peers."
Scrubs
"It took the incompetence of a bewildered jackass"
Scrubs
"to make that error to begin with."
Scrubs
"You've been spending time treating my guy, Mr. Jenkins?"
Scrubs
"He's a veteran. He deserves as much."
Scrubs
"He's just a homeless guy."
Scrubs
"but luckily, my neighbor, Ronald, lent me his ride."
Scrubs
"[Gasps] Pot pie."
Scrubs
"[Squeaking]"
Scrubs
"Oh, come on. Let me in. This totally covers my boys."
Scrubs
"[Screams] My eyes!"
Scrubs
"[J.D.] Yeah, it hurt."
Scrubs
"But when you accept the keys to the hog,"
Scrubs
"Excuse me, fine ladies,"
Scrubs
"but I've got lives to save."
Scrubs
"- Oh! Ronald's gonna be mad. - He's six."
Scrubs
"Does what hurt?"
Scrubs
"... gender..."
Scrubs
"Ow! I just bit the inside of my lip."
Scrubs
"Nothing has ever hurt so badly!"
Scrubs
"Oh, yeah! That feels good!"
Scrubs
"Since there's no way to truly gauge how much pain someone's in,"
Scrubs
"we have to rely on an archaic chart."
Scrubs
"Mr. Peele, you're about a seven on the pain chart."
Scrubs
"What's a 10?"
Scrubs
"[Screaming]"
Scrubs
"# No, I know I'm no Superman"
Scrubs
"I'm comfortable helping myself to the nurses' muffin basket."
Scrubs
"All right, everybody."
Scrubs
"Last one here has to do a double shift this weekend!"
Scrubs
"Keith, you just lost your weekend."
Scrubs
"Call that androgynous husband"
Scrubs
"But I feel like I edged out James."
Scrubs
"We're not clear on the ground rules."
Scrubs
"The last one to touch my face. I'm not gonna like that."
Scrubs
"The last one to touch my bot... No, that's illegal."
Scrubs
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