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Clips from NewsRadio - Balloon (S04E04)

"- Matthew, I already gave the answer. - No, I know it. I got it."
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"It's Rupert "Birdoch." Get it?"
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"Okay. Anyway, at 1900 hours,"
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"I am going to embark on a round-the-world voyage..."
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"in the H.M.S. Badd Boy,"
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"a miniature prototype of which my flight technician, Joe, is bringin' right in."
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"Uh, Joe, I was gonna ask you about that other 14,000. Look, it lights up."
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"So what's gonna happen is, I'll be in here,"
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"and we'll begin the mission by making a straight, vertical ascent up thataway."
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"Okay, ready? Here we go."
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"Mr. James, you are not going to fly around the world in a hot-air balloon."
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"When? Today."
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"Third base!"
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"Mr. James, what if something goes wrong and you get fatally injured or even killed?"
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"- Go ahead. - Thank you."
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"Hasn't this been done before? I mean, it seems like every year,"
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"Bill Gates practically called me a Nancy boy."
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"- Do you know anything about hot-air ballooning? - Nope."
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"Do you know how to chart a course? Nope."
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"- Do you know what makes a hot-air balloon fly? - Joe?"
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"The camera crews are gonna arrive around 1:00."
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"I appreciate your concern, Beth, but I don't wanna hear any more arguments."
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"Like I said before, I'm not leavin' right away."
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"Well, yeah, Bill, I am kind of worried about it."
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"There a fine line between eccentricity and downright suicidal foolhardiness."
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"I know. I walk that line every Saturday night."
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"I just wouldn't. Boy, I picked a hell of a day to quit smoking."
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"Thanks. I'm tryin' not to make a big deal about it. I understand that."
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"I don't know how I ever started. Filthy habit. Oh, I know."
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"But I hope you-- What-What-What's that?"
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"Well, I gave up smoking, Dave, not nicotine."
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"Yeah, but to my gums, not my lungs."
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"I'm tryin' to mix it up a little here. Come on. Sure you don't want some?"
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"- Absolutely, yeah. No, no. - Your funeral."
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"- Isn't there anything that you can do to stop him? - He'll be fine."
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"- But what if something goes wrong? - Oh, just relax."
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"Well, I do it by imagining that Mr.James..."
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"- What's going on now? - It's 1:00."
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"[ Man On P.A. ] Ladies and gentlemen of the press,"
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"presenting the president and C.E.O. of Jimmy James Incorporated,"
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"Jimmy James!"
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"I am about to embark on a grand adventure."
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"Lisa?"
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"Mr. James, I think the question everyone wants to hear the answer to is: Why?"
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"A desire to-to live life to its fullest."
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"But I think the real reason-- the real reason..."
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"who don't have the guts to take to the skies."
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"Where do you plan to depart from, sir?"
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"Why all the secrecy? The secrecy. Well, the secrecy."
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"For one reason and one reason only--"
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"Good luck to you, sir. Thank you. Thank you very much."
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"Literally. Joe!"
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"Mind if I join ya? Hmm. Help yourself."
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"[ Groans ]"
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"Um, here."
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"That's your cup from now on and forever."
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"What if I accidentally spit in your cup?"
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"This cup is just for coffee. Got it?"
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"Got it. Good, good."
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"You guys, Mr. James is on TV."
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"You guys, they're going live to the capsule. He's gonna say something."
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"We now go live to Jimmy James. Hello, America."
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"from my super-secret launching pad somewhere near the Sahara Desert."
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"Mr. James, tell us, where are you now?"
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"Let's take a-- take a look out the window here."
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"I have to ask, just what is it that makes you think that--"
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"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Wait a minute. Wait a minute. [ Beeping ]"
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"that we're gonna run into some rough weather."
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"I hope this doesn't spell disaster for my mission."
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"But if it does, I'm sure all of you will get the blow-by-blow account..."
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"Sorry, folks, I gotta go."
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"Plugs? Plugs?"
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"Mr. James is 500 feet in the air,"
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"and all you can think about is his hair?"
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"Oh!"
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"- Are you coming, Dave? Are you okay? - Uh-huh."
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"Okay, listen, if anything happens with Mr. James..."
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"between now and the time I get home, call me, okay?"
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"- Uh-huh. - I'm gonna call you when I get home to let you know I'm home."
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"[ Jimmy ] Billionaire. billionaire Jimmy James."
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"Yeah. Hi, Mr. James. Good to hear from you again."
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"Tell us, what is your present location? I'm up in a balloon."
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"that we are flying over a region of the former Soviet Republic."
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"[ TV: Jimmy Continues, Indistinct ]"
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"Mr. James? Mr. James? [ Jimmy Sneezes ]"
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"I am. I'm in the balloon. Mr. James!"
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"Well? Wow."
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"Dynamite stuff in that last segment, Jimbo. Thanks. Appreciate it."
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"You can't be so judgmental about these things, you know?"
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"How do you expect to keep an operation this massive a secret?"
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"What's so massive about it? Well, you're obviously employing a lot of people."
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"[ Joe ] Mr. James, at 0700 hours, I wanna try and do some turbulence."
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"Man, what's he doin' here?"
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"Well, he kind of snuck up on me, Joe. I couldn't avoid him."
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"Fine. But don't tell anybody. So what?"
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"Who said anything about two months?"
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"That's how long it takes to circumnavigate the globe in a balloon."
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"Two months? Joe, you said I'd be back this weekend."
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"Theoretically, if you went through a wormhole or somethin'."
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"- Well, scrub the mission. - No, I can't."
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"The eyes of the nation are upon me. Oh, man!"
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"All right. I'll tell ya what. Give me a little time to figure out a graceful exit, all right?"
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"I'll give you six hours. Twelve hours."
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"- I did fine. - Really? I was so worried about Mr. James."
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"Really? But were you watching it? I mean, really,"
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"it was like someone physically grabbed the capsule..."
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"Yeah. It-It was a lot like that."
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"Where are you now, sir?"
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"All right. For the last time, I'm up in the air in a balloon!"
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"Yeah, of course. But over which country?"
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"Uh, I-I don't know. One of them, you know, foreign countries."
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"Oh, I'm, like-- Oh, gee, uh,"
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"gotta be 40, 50 feet, maybe."
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"I got-- I got that wrong."
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"Mr. James, what exactly is going on up there?"
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"I'm balloonin' my ass off. I thought that was obvious."
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"Uh-oh! Uh-oh! Something's happening. I'm gettin' a little turbulence."
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"I gotta go!"
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"Could you ask me that question again in one hour and 13 minutes?"
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"It's almost as if he was faking this whole thing..."
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