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Clips from The Big Bang Theory - The Stag Convergence (S05E05)

"For he's a jolly good fellow"
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"For he's a jolly good fellow"
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"Which nobody can deny"
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"Yes, yes, yes, he's a jolly good fellow. What time do the strippers arrive?"
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"Actually, Barry, we're not gonna have strippers tonight."
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"Ugh, then what the frig did I get $200 in singles out for?"
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"You wanna buy a watch?"
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"...bringing you the wedding activities just weeks out from the big day."
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"Let's check in with a beautiful, radiant young woman..."
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"...and her friend who's about to get married."
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"Ladies, can you tell us what you're doing?"
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"Um, these are gift bags we're gonna put in the hotel rooms of our guests."
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"This is a map of Pasadena, this is a list of local restaurants."
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"Then for Howie's relatives, we have antihistamines, antacids..."
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"...and medicine for diarrhea and constipation."
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"Ha, we labeled them "stop" and "go.""
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"All right, pivoting to the big question."
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"Bernadette, on your wedding night, you'll be consummating your marriage."
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"Amy, please."
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"Keeping in mind that whoever's on top may set the tone for the marriage."
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"Okay, show's over."
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"Hey. They may conceive a child on their wedding night."
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"Don't you think the kid might get a kick out of knowing how it happened?"
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"Not "who's gonna sit on who?""
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"Bernadette Maryann Rostenkowski-Wolowitz."
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"Nice. You should totally get Bernadette Maryann Rostenkowski-wolowitz.com..."
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"...before someone snaps it up."
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"Howard already took care of it."
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"He set up our beautiful wedding website with cute facts..."
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"...about our family histories."
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"For a while in Poland, my family and his family were neighbors."
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"- Oh, that's cool. - No, it's not. I'll explain it to you later."
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"May I have your attention, please?"
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"We are here tonight to celebrate the upcoming nuptials of my best friend..."
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"...Howard Wolowitz."
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"Hear, hear."
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"- Sheldon. - Talk to the hand."
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"Does anyone have any words they'd like to say about our man of the evening?"
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"I do."
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"As is the tradition, I've prepared a series of disrespectful jokes which generate humor..."
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"...at Howard's expense. Prepare to have your ribs tickled."
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"Let's see here. Oh, seriously, though..."
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"And that's a zinger because you're not."
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"I've always thought that you'd make someone a fine husband someday."
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"Assuming you'd get the parts and develop the engineering skills..."
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"...to assemble them, which I don't see as likely. Hot-cha!"
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"Howard, you are a good friend and I wish you nothing but happiness."
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"Buzzinga, I don't."
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"Good luck following that."
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"So Howard Wolowitz tying the knot. Ha, ha."
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"Leaving his crazy bachelor days behind. He was a wild one."
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"But I guess we all kind of were."
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"I remember this one time, I was with this girl at the beach."
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"We were in the ocean and we started making out."
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"I know, it was crazy."
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"- Then... - Nobody cares, Hofstadter, wrap it up."
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"Right. To Howard."
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"To Howard!"
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"I totally had sex in the ocean."
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"Okay, I'll go."
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"...starting this wonderful life together..."
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"...I can't help but get a little choked up. I mean..."
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"...look at you, you have everything."
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"Look at me. I'm 37..."
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"...I sleep in the back of a comic book store..."
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"...and I have the bone density of an 80-year-old man."
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"To Howard."
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"- To Howard. - Yes."
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"- Uh, who's next? - I'll go."
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"Howard, I'm gonna say something to you that everybody is thinking..."
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"...but no one has the courage to say out loud."
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"When you invite a man to a bachelor party, the implication is there will be strippers."
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"Maybe not completely nude..."
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"...but at least pasties and G-strings, that's not unreasonable."
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"- Hear, hear! - Hear, hear!"
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"No? Okay."
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"It all comes down to me as the best man. Ha-ha-ha."
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"Ooh, this grasshopper is kicking my ass-hopper. Ha-ha-ha."
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"Okay, when I first came to this country, I didn't know how to behave..."
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"...or how to dress, or what was cool."
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"I was pretty lonely. But then I met Howard, and suddenly my life changed..."
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"...because we could be lonely together."
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"This man became my whole world."
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"Yeah. Nice speech, Francine."
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"...and spent that night telling each other all our secrets."
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"I told him I'm addicted to pedicures..."
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"She was my second cousin."
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"And the first woman you ever disappointed sexually. Bada-buzzinga!"
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"Oh, yeah. And then there was the time when Leonard and I took Howard to Las Vegas..."
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"...and paid a hooker to pretend she was Jewish..."
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"...and that she wanted his little kosher pickle."
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"Of all the "Howard humping hooker" stories, that one's my favorite."
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"Okay, buddy, that's it. Sit down."
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"Don't remember. Please sit down."
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"The only threesome I've ever had in my life..."
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"...and I'm proud to say it was with this man right here!"
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"- Please shut up. - Oh, oh."
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"Don't get me wrong, nothing happened with me and Howard."
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"There was about 200 pounds of Sailor Moon between us."
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"Jeepers, I'm drunk."
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"Thank you for picking us up."
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"There's a warning right there on the Scotch bottle."
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"You cannot be operating heavy machinery..."
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"...after you've had a snootful of this, laddie."
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"Funny. You boys have a nice time?"
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"Low-key, like I promised."
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"No hanky-panky, no strippers. Just the guys telling jokes."
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"That's nice."
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"How about you? Did you have a fun night?"
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"Yeah. We, uh, made gift bags, had wine..."
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"Of all the "Howard humping hooker" stories..."
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"...that one's my favorite."
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"You know, we're not that far from my apartment."
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"If you stop the car, I can walk from here."
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"Bernadette, listen..."
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"...but you never mentioned your cousin, the prostitute or Raj."
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"Seriously, you don't even have to stop the car."
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"Anything under 10 miles an hour and I can combat-roll into the street."
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"Okay, just to set the record straight..."
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"Shame on you, Raj. That is not how we treat women in this country."
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