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Clips from Scrubs - Our White Coats (S09E09)

"- I once got felt up in a pumpkin patch. - Don't you just love the holidays?"
Scrubs
"and keep you from your true destiny,"
Scrubs
"about a pointless tradition brought to you by an empty figurehead"
Scrubs
"Kills me that we're friends now."
Scrubs
"All right. As you know, Friday is the annual White Coat Ceremony."
Scrubs
"a symbol of your entree into the world of medicine."
Scrubs
"She said I reminded her of her grandpa,"
Scrubs
"Smarts versus nepotism for the keynote speaker."
Scrubs
"Yeah, well, good luck, 'cause I got skills. Check it."
Scrubs
"Anyway, check it out. Mr. Warshal passed his kidney stone."
Scrubs
"They say it's actually a lot like giving birth."
Scrubs
"Super-pumped, by the way. Super-pumped."
Scrubs
"Joseph was my first appendectomy patient."
Scrubs
"so we're gonna clear that right up."
Scrubs
"you could seal the deal for keynote speaker."
Scrubs
"It's a reaction to the acidic black poisonwood berry."
Scrubs
"Home island of Haiti. Damn, I was just going to say that."
Scrubs
"to make the kind of catches that save lives."
Scrubs
"Time of death, 4:23 p.m."
Scrubs
"Genius, man. You lay low at first,"
Scrubs
"It was awesome."
Scrubs
"I've done some soul-searching and I have a new answer."
Scrubs
"Stop. Now, this is when I would normally launch into a rant,"
Scrubs
"and even in the adjusted, Lucy Bennett five-strike system"
Scrubs
"to accommodate all major underachievers..."
Scrubs
"Go ahead and take a second and be happy"
Scrubs
"Hey, why did you guys want to become doctors?"
Scrubs
"because when I was nine"
Scrubs
"So the first time I went on the balance beam,"
Scrubs
"(INAUDIBLE)"
Scrubs
"Actually, I was hoping I could get a little advice."
Scrubs
"Oh, no. Who wants to travel down that road?"
Scrubs
"Hey, Cole, you know how when we make love"
Scrubs
"- Why the hell not? - That's a good answer."
Scrubs
"I don't want to be the keynote speaker, but thanks."
Scrubs
"(CRYING)"
Scrubs
"(EXCLAIMING)"
Scrubs
"LUCY: Even fashion advisers."
Scrubs
"Don't bring that weak sauce in here. He'll never know you're gone."
Scrubs
"You know, as long as I had a guarantee that I'd live until, like, my 80s."
Scrubs
"In my head it wasn't God, it was a genie."
Scrubs
"That is what the ugly duckling always says in the movies,"
Scrubs
"PROFESSOR: What are the three categories of presentation"
Scrubs
"I'm just saying."
Scrubs
"(ELLIOT GASPS)"
Scrubs
"I can't think of the answer that he wants, you know?"
Scrubs
"And you don't think your amazing new look will take care of that?"
Scrubs
"Then maybe you should stop looking for the perfect answer"
Scrubs
"And because of that, I don't have to beat myself up over something"
Scrubs
"DREW: I'm gonna scrub out."
Scrubs
"Hey. Saw that video. Crazy."
Scrubs
"'Cause I wouldn't dress all girly-gay for you."
Scrubs
"STUDENTS: Recognize!"
Scrubs
"MAN: Recognize."
Scrubs
"At first I thought it was to make my family proud,"
Scrubs
"Anyway, the truth is, I can't pick just one reason."
Scrubs
"Come on, let's go. We're gonna be late for the White Coat Ceremony."
Scrubs
"DREW: Luckily, we're surrounded by amazing individuals."
Scrubs
"And then there's the new friends, who make it all a little easier to handle."
Scrubs
"And we all deserve a second chance."
Scrubs
"- COLE: And meet the crew! - You're welcome."
Scrubs
"You got Styles, Tricky, Lil' Tricky, my man Boots, and me, Cole Fusion."
Scrubs
"Dr. Reid, I know yoga is supposed to be good for pregnant women,"
Scrubs
"but are you sure this is okay?"
Scrubs
"It looks like that baby could squirt out any second."
Scrubs
"Lucy, I'm fine. Besides, I would never give birth under a tree."
Scrubs
"Although J.D. And I did conceive this baby under one."
Scrubs
"It was a Christmas tree. Not in our house. It was still on the lot."
Scrubs
"We made a bunch of Christians uncomfortable that day."
Scrubs
"It's so nice having someone to talk to."
Scrubs
"It's gotten so cutthroat. People will do anything to get ahead."
Scrubs
"Lost got canceled and they're never gonna air the finale?"
Scrubs
"So many questions. Hey, good luck on the test, bro."
Scrubs
"LUCY: Even Drew's been acting like a gunner recently."
Scrubs
"Drew, can I borrow your histology notes?"
Scrubs
"Roger, no. Nothing personal,"
Scrubs
"I just don't want to help you half-ass your way through med school"
Scrubs
"which is to become the second-best dentist"
Scrubs
"at a run-down strip mall. You get it."
Scrubs
"I was a gunner for a while when I was in med school."
Scrubs
"Once I set my roommate Lauren's books on fire"
Scrubs
"so she couldn't study. Turns out I'd loaned her mine,"
Scrubs
"so I actually had to buy a whole new set, which she then stole."
Scrubs
"Still, in the end I won because she got hit by a truck."
Scrubs
"I mean, she didn't die,"
Scrubs
"but she is not smart enough to be a doctor anymore."
Scrubs
"Is she happy?"
Scrubs
"- Oh, she's very happy. - Good."
Scrubs
"CO X: Now, to recap,"
Scrubs
"what is the number-one attribute all med students share"
Scrubs
"with this skeleton?"
Scrubs
"Yes."
Scrubs
"The hollow area of nothingness inside the skull?"
Scrubs
"with a failing liver and an overactive libido."
Scrubs
"Thank you, Perry, you anger-filled muscle slut."
Scrubs
"- I miss this. - Yeah, me, too."
Scrubs
"In front of your family and friends, you will receive your lab coats,"
Scrubs
"- These doctors' coats... - Murderers' coats, Bob."
Scrubs
"Because they are all murderers."
Scrubs
"Anyhoo, the faculty will be choosing a keynote speaker"
Scrubs
"to represent the entire first-year class."
Scrubs
"And as part of this meaningless charade,"
Scrubs
"Winston University requires that each of you sit with me,"
Scrubs
"the Chief of Medicine, for an irrelevant pre-ceremony interview."
Scrubs
"A quick sidebar, Perry? Can I do the interview"
Scrubs
"with that little number in the second row?"
Scrubs
"and I think I could use that to at least get her top off."
Scrubs
"- You're a hell of an educator, Bob. - I do it for them."
Scrubs
"- So, you ready for your interview? - So ready."
Scrubs
"I can answer any questions about our classes, about the hospital,"
Scrubs
"I even took the time to memorize personal facts"
Scrubs
"about each of my professors, so bring it."
Scrubs
"Well, there's really only one question."
Scrubs
"Why do you want to be a doctor?"
Scrubs
"You've never been to Maine"
Scrubs
"and you were college roommates with Michael Bolton."
Scrubs
"Yes, and the latter fuels most of my anger."
Scrubs
"I'd like you to come back with a better answer,"
Scrubs
"and if you find you can't come up with a better answer,"
Scrubs
"then please know I'm going to make it my personal mission"
Scrubs
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