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Clips from 30 Rock - The One with the Cast of 'Night Court' (S03E03)

"and all the guys just watch and feed them."
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"Yes, thank you, Cerie. That's very helpful."
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"You have to go through with this wedding, Harry."
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"Hey, I am game. But it's Markie."
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"She will not let go of the past."
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"Okay."
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"So you and Markeline have bad blood. But it's bigger than that."
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"My boy Kenneth is going through some really tough times."
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"that's different than his other coat."
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"You won't regret this, Harry. You look great."
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"Markie, will you do me the honor of becoming my fake wife"
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"Why'd you leave?"
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"and said that she was getting on the F train --"
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"Oh, no."
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"Lemon?"
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"Jack! She's in your house."
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"I made you a white pizza and a pot roast"
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"because I just think you're so amazing..."
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"Look at me, playing house!"
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"My God, you must think I'm out of my mind!"
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"Do you?"
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"Lemon, I gotta call you back."
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"Mac had two dates on the same night,"
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"and Harry just discovered he was adopted."
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"So let's turn to page two."
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"No, we remember, Jenna. You were the werewolf lawyer."
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"You're the reason we didn't have a 10th season."
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"I had just bought my second home when they brought that idiot werewolf lawyer in."
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"Uh, that "idiot werewolf" paid for my hand reduction surgery, Okay?"
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"Kenneth, I can't believe you're such a Night Court fan"
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"and didn't know I played the werelawyer."
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"But you haven't seen the last of Sparky Monroe!"
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"Jack, what happened last night?"
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"Why are you wearing that hat?"
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"I can't help it."
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"I'm under a lot of pressure, and Claire is my escape."
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"I crave her all the time even though I know she's bad for me."
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"I don't think I can get out of this."
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"Maybe Claire's right."
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"Jack, this is what she does."
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"She sucks you into her craziness, and you have to fight it."
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"You have to step up and end this."
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"Actually, Claire, we were talking about you."
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"I do."
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"I'd like to suck that ring right off your toe."
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"...just gotta hack it..."
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"I know what you were trying to do last night."
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"You were trying to keep me away from Jack."
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"And you almost fooled me."
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"But then I remembered something."
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"And Jack is seeing the manipulative you."
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"The Single White Female thing that you have with me."
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"Honey, you moved into my building."
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"You dated that clown."
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"Joel Sucheki."
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"And he was not "that clown" he was "the" head clowning instructor."
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"Hmm."
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"I'm not doing this."
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"I am only here because Jack is my friend, and he asked me for support."
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"Yes, right. That's what I'm saying."
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"Well, I tried to be the adult."
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"And if only one of us can have him, it's gonna be me."
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"Jack, you wanted out of this."
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"Claire, I would like Claire."
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"Fine, I am done helping you."
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"And when you hit rock bottom, which you will,"
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"I am not gonna bail you out."
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"I'm deleting you from my phone!"
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"Tell me about it."
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"The last time I saw either of you,"
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"Hey, are you with network?"
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"and you are potentially infringing on Warner Brothers' intellectual property."
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"Shut this down."
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"No. There's no more Jack. He's dead to us."
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"Break this down!"
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"Everybody out!"
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"Absolutely not."
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"The only crime any of us is guilty of is caring for one another."
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"who tried to make a young man's dream come true."
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"If there is a law against friendship,"
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"then lock me up."
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"But if there isn't,"
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"then the show must go onward!"
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"Ken, you did it! You changed her mind!"
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"No. No he didn't!"
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"Stop group hugging! Who does that?"
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"We're together."
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"Uh-huh, yeah."
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"No more sneaking around,"
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"Are we boring? Are we some sexless couple that sits in silence"
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"You really want to have fun, Jack?"
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"Yes! Let's do something wild."
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"You like it when I get naughty, Jack?"
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"Yeah..."
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"Hey! The guy in the cool, cool hat has a gun!"
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"- He has a gun! - No, no, no, no!"
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"Run, Jack!"
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"And it's been quite a court... ship."
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"So by the power vested in me by the State of New York,"
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"I hereby pronounce us"
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"Mr. and Mrs. Judge Harry T. Stone."
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"Uh-oh..."
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"It's almost a full "mooon"!"
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"And as my first official act as a newly married judge,"
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"I hereby declare the new page uniforms at NBC illegal!"
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"I refuse to play the role of Mac"
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"in Universal's upcoming Night Court movie."
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"What's that now?"
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"Are you okay?"
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"Lemon..."
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"Remember that TV show?"
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"I mean, the hookers are not funny."
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"Lemon, I'm sorry I..."
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"I'm just glad you're okay."
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"Well, thank you for answering your phone."
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"Hey, try this on."
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"You like that? It's yours."
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"But this?"
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"Yup. Fun, crazy Claire."
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"Yeah! Her roof parties?"
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