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Clips from South Park - Professor Chaos (S06E06)

"He took that pretty well I think."
South Park
"Who cares?"
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"So let's get started on who's gonna be the new person to take Kenny's place."
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"The world isn't fair."
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"I do everything people ask me to."
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"I stand in the lunch lines for them..."
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"I go on Maury Povich with balls on my chin for them."
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"And yet, nobody accepts me."
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"I am an outcast--"
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"no love from others."
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"Fine! If I'm to be an outcast, so be it."
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"I'm through doing what others tell me to do,"
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"and I am sick of this world and the stinky people in it."
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"From now on, I will dedicate my life"
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"to bringing chaos to the world that has dejected me!"
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"I will become the greatest super-villain"
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"Where I go, destruction will follow!"
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"Prepare for the greatest super-villain you have ever seen..."
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"Tomorrow, the chaos begins."
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"Ha ha..."
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"Ha ha ha ha ha ha!"
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"Ah ha ha ha!"
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"Alright, we want to thank everybody for coming,"
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"this is a great turnout."
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"Uh, as you know, our friend Kenny died a few months ago"
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"and we are looking to fill the void with a new friend."
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"You've all been selected as possible candidates,"
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"And so, Stan and Kyle and I will be spending the next few days"
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"until we think we've found the perfect friend."
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"Are there any questions?"
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"What if we don't want to be your friend?"
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"Clyde... okay?"
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"from 20 choices to 10."
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"And so today we will all be going"
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"Please keep in mind this will all be videotaped,"
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"Order 23 is up, and order 24 is up."
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"Uh, waitress, I actually ordered the chicken soup."
South Park
"This is minestrone."
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"Yeah, I had the minestrone over here."
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"Ah ha ha! Ha ha ha haaa!"
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"I am Professor Chaos!"
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"So today, we went to the amusement park with all our possible friends."
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"I think the person that stood out most at the amusement park was Jimmy."
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"Well, the reason I think I would make the perfect fourth friend"
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"because I've been hanging around these guys for like, five years"
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"and I never get to say or do anything."
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"but he never does anything, he's more like a prop."
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"Towelie is a tough choice, because even though I can see"
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"how always having a towel around could come in handy,"
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"he's just always so high."
South Park
"Wait, what is this again?"
South Park
"I have no idea what's going on."
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"We decided to get some one-on-one time with Jimmy"
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"and ride the log ride."
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"we got to go to the front of the line."
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"Hey, I'm gonna need some help getting in the log, fellas."
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"Oh, shut her down, someone needs assistance."
South Park
"Oh, really?"
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"That's gonna cost some points."
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"But right now I'd say if we're gonna have a retard for a friend"
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"Boy, isn't this great, fellas?"
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"Are we great pals or what?"
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"picking our new friend isn't gonna be easy."
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"Kneel!"
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"Kneel before Professor Chaos!"
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"Ha ha, ha ha ha!"
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"Ahh ha ha haa! Ha ha haaa!"
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"Ha ha ha, ha ha ha haa!"
South Park
"but based on our time with you all at the amusement park,"
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"we have whittled our choices down to 10."
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"Kyle, will you announce the people we want to stay?"
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"Token..."
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"Tweek."
South Park
"Aah!"
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"Alright, the rest of you, thanks for coming,"
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"get the fudge out."
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"I didn't make the cut?"
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"Oh God, I didn't make the cut?"
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"I didn't even get a chance to have them get to know me."
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"Alright, congratulations to those of you selected to stay."
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"In the end, one of you will be the new Kenny."
South Park
"Did you hear about what's been going on?"
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"Some horrible new super-villain"
South Park
"No, I didn't hear about that."
South Park
"Well, sure, Butters, I was just about to get some breakfast."
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"Nothing..."
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"Nothing!"
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"It's the liberal media,"
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"they're keeping the stories of my deeds covered up"
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"so as not to cause a panic."
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"Well then, I guess it's time to step it up a notch!"
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"Okay, next."
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"- Timmy! - Next."
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"Your performances will be judged primarily"
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"So good luck, everybody!"
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"- Sit down, boys. - Alrighty, then."
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"Alright, children, before we get started,"
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"has anybody seen the eraser for the chalkboard?"
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"It probably got knocked on the floor somewhere."
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"Can you all please just look around your desks for it?"
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"Yes... look around for your precious eraser."
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"You won't find it."
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"That eraser is in my backyard,"
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"buried three feet below the surface of the earth."
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"And do you even suspect me? No."
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"Now we shall see how you all like your dear chalkboard"
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"without an eraser!"
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"Information that just keeps piling up and piling up,"
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"until your minuscule brains can take it no longer!"
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"No?"
South Park
"Oh well, never mind, I've got a backup one in the desk."
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"Okay, today, children, we're gonna learn about multiplying times five."
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"Now, whenever we multiply a number times five"
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"- Ms. Choksondik? - What is it, Butters?"
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"Alright, Butters, take the bathroom pass and go."
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"If anybody needs me, that's where I'll be."
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"Just go, Butters."
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"Okay, so for instance, five times one is... what, Eric?"
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"- Five times one. - Five times one is of course..."
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"Five."
South Park
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