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Clips from The Simpsons - The Italian Bob (S17E17)

"When Mount Vesuvius erupted,"
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"people were overcome by volcanic ash so fast"
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"that they were frozen in whatever position they were in"
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"at the moment of their death."
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"Savages."
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"We've passed the Ponte Vecchio Bridge three times."
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"I think we're lost."
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"Says here we should turn left"
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"at a fat chick in a tutu being fed by a midget."
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"That's a DVD of a Fellini movie."
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"(CARNIVAL MUSIC PLAYING)"
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"I get it. The midget represents dwarves."
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"Dad, cheese truck!"
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"(GASPS) Mozzarella! Parmigiano! Provolone!"
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"Pecorino! Gorgonzola! Fontina!"
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"Taleggio! Bocconcini!"
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"Don't worry. We got the cheese insurance."
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"It doesn't cover mortadella."
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"(GROANS) No!"
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"(ALL GRUNTING)"
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"Stupid Italy! I wish you'd never been unified"
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"by Victor Emmanuel ll!"
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"If only you'd stayed a loose confederation of city states"
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"trading with each other and occasionally warring."
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"Hey, do you know anything about fixing sports cars? Scusi?"
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"It's a Lamborgotti Fasterossa XT 550"
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"with ABS Sport Tech Package!"
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"Americano?"
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"Americana? What the hell could that mean?"
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"Why can't you people learn to speak my language?"
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"I learned to eat your food!"
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"Hey, she says the mayor speaks English."
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"I honor you and your country."
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"(GASPS)"
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""Kentucky"? In Italian"
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"SIDESHOW BOB: Indeed I do."
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"(GASPS) The Simpsons!"
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"(ALL SCREAMING TOGETHER)"
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"BART: Sideshow Bob?"
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"Of all the regioni in all the villaggi in all of Italia,"
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"you had to be il mayore of this one!"
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"I can assure you I'm as sorry to see you as you are to see me."
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"How did you wind up here?"
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"Yes. Tell us your story."
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"But ii better have a beginning, a middle, and an end."
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"And you'd better make us root for the protagonist!"
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"My tale begins after I had once again attempted to murder Bart."
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"Okay. So far I'm rooting for you."
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"I needed a fresh start, but where?"
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"Not in this lifetime!"
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"Never!"
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"Now cut that out!"
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"Ah, Tuscany. Fortune is finally smiling upon me."
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"(GRUMBLING)"
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"I left my past behind and moved"
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"to the small village of Salsiccia."
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"Acceptance came slowly."
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"It's pronounced “buongiorno.“"
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"Your mouth is getting lazy on the second syllable."
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"Here. Let me guide you."
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"But that all changed when the grape harvest began."
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"(CROWD GRUNTING)"
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"(SPEAKING ITALIAN)"
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"(ALL GASPING)"
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"(SINGING) These feet are made for stomping"
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"And that's just what they'll do"
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"One of these days these feet will make chianti out of you!"
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"Ready, feet? Start stomping!"
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"(HUMMING)"
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"it was the biggest harvest ever."
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"(CORK POPS) Never had I felt such acceptance."
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"The next spring, the contadini elected me their mayor."
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"But! won more than the love of a town."
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"Roberto, amore!"
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"This is my bride Francesca. And my son, Gino."
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"Holy moley!"
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"I always thought you were, you know, out, loud, and proud!"
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"Well, I experimented in college, as one does."
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"Yeah. I never went to college."
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"Stop the presses."
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"Hello. I'm Marge. This is my husband Homer,"
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"my daughters Lisa and Maggie,"
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"and my son Bart Simpson."
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"Bart Simpson?"
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"The name Roberto cries when he has the bad dream."
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"Bart Simpson! Bart Simpson! Ban Simpson!"
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"I make like my daddy! I cut, cut... (CHUCKLES)"
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"Yes. Ban and I used to go fly-fishing together."
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"Die, Bart! Die, Bart!"
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"You shall all slay for dinner"
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"and tell me more about my wonderful Roberto."
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"(SIGHS) He makes love like a man who just got out of jail."
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"Mmm. (KISSES)"
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"(CHUCKLES) Yes, yes, you crave my skillful touch."
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"Now go. Take the boy. And shut the door. I'll rock your world anon."
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"Simpsons, I beg of you,"
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"please don't destroy the new life I've created here."
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"Bob, you haven't told your wife"
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"about all the terrible things you've done?"
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"Yeah. I tell Marge everything."
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"Not necessarily in words, but in body language."
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"You know, sneaking around and such."
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"Bob, your family will find out the truth."
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"Sooner or later, you'll try lo kill me again."
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"Watch. I'll prove it."
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"Come on, Bob. Slice, dice, and serve on rice."
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"(CHUCKLES) You little scamp."
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"You know, you'll make some murderer very happy one day."
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"But it shan't be me."
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"Bart, Bob is a family man now."
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"You can't be a bad person if you have a family."
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"And literature is filled with tales of redemption"
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"from Jean Valjean, to the voice of Buzz Lightyear, Tim Allen."
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"All right, Bob,"
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"we won't tell your beautiful new family"
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"that you're a homicidal psychopath"
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"if you fix up our car."
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"Now, I can't undo the past."
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"But I can try to make it up to you."
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"My humble little town is at your service."
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